Very very happy to read you’ve had enough. Good job. Stay save and take it ODAAT. One thing after the next. And stay connected here. Much love!
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Dear friend…I can understand the frustration and anger but honestly it was a good decision for you to stay home with the kids imo. You said it - not easy peasy and it was work.
The two of you are married and have an understanding that he works so you can stay home and take care of everything with home and kids. Therefore is the money not shared? I know this can get tricky at times and I am sorry for that cause it should be straight forward.
So happy to hear that you had a talk with him and laid out your plans. Girl you are amazing and your strength is showing 
I know you can do it.! Like Faugxh said - take it odaat and stay connected here.
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Any savings at all is half yours. A stay at home mom is the hardest job there is. Just because it has no monetary return doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to what’s been saved while you two were together. My opinion would be the same if the roles were reversed. I don’t like to see moms downplay their contributions to the family unit. That’s my 2 cents. Anyway, glad to see you’re starting to plan out your future.
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Here, here!! I could not agree more Lisa
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No no, I wasn’t clear I guess, there is no savings at all 
Actually I’m happy we don’t have debts with only one income and his coke habit.
That fucker think I’m bluffing…
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I mean…of course youre bluffing…why on earth would u really want to leave such a catch?!
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Just read this in the Al-Anon forum about communicating with an addict. It’s taken me a lot of work. The part about the extra talking always got me into trouble so true.
Remember WAIT
Why
Am
I
Talking
@Mischa84
Changed attitudes = changed behaviors
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This is good advice. For all of us. Thank you!
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Today was my seven year wedding anniversary. I worked and my husband had the day off. We celebrated yesterday when we both had the day off and had a nice night.
Tonight he told me he was going out at 10ish and he came home at 3 from the casino. He is also a former(?) problem gambler who had to file for bankruptcy to cover gambling debts many years back before I met him. He doesn’t go often, he always tells me when he goes so there is no sneaking and our finances are separate so he is not gambling my money.
I thought about texting him around 1 a.m. but I think I also wanted to see how late he would stay out so I could be upset.
I spent my time after work relaxing and then as the night got later/morning got earlier I started planning my life without him. I mentally redecorated my apartment and pictured life with him not in it. I do this sometimes. I can’t tell if it is worse or better but it is different.
Nothing catastrophic happening, he came home a little while ago and I’m happy he’s safe. Just venting. Addiction sucks and so do addictive behaviors, said the woman who has been on this app for the past 3 hours. 
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I’m glad you vented, Emilie. I have had the same experience imagining life without my husband. I think of where I would live, what kind of place I’d live in, then I’d think about leaving my two cats behind, and it would break my heart!
Not to make light of your situation.
I hear you and I’m with you 100%. Addiction does suck.
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Ah Emilie that does sound like a worrysome night. Glad he is safe and super glad that you vented here
Even if you don’t follow through it may be a good idea to have options available 
Addiction is a bitch. Hoping you have a stress free wonderful day
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Oh I’m taking the kitties! We live in a house with lots of light and plants and a swing for me to read in.
I’m sorry you do the same thing but I’m glad to know I’m not alone. 🩶
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Thank you Jazz. It’s just really hard to find addiction attractive. We’ve talked about it today. He said he’s been thinking about it for a while, knew he wanted to go and didn’t have fun.
A part of me is angry at myself because I thought (like always) that he was out with someone else. My low self esteem plus his addiction is a sad combo. I appreciate you and your big heart.
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A sad combo for sure. I do hope you give yourself some love today and are able to see the beauty we see in you.
Grateful that through it all you two are able to talk it out honestly.
Big hugs to you my friend 
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One of my favorite readings from Courage To Change. And it’s today’s reading.
It’s funny 
My sponsor is still telling me to focus on myself. Not what she does.
But I think I’m getting better. 
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This is a good one. I just read that page too. I already posted about this on the gratitude thread, but I have a dear friend who has become sort of my Al anon sponsor. Yesterday we had a discussion about this very thing. It was very helpful. Thanks!
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Ya I can’t sleep. Went to bed but woke around 1. Gave it an hour or so and here I am. I must be too excited for our big trip today. Or she had a couple of glasses of wine last night and she’s snoring like a freight train. 
I wish she wouldn’t drink. Somehow she stops at 2 these days and it’s not every day either. But it still gets in my head. And even after 2 drinks she changes, her personality changes. Somehow I got to learn to just focus on myself. Or at least not focus on her. Thing is, it seems like I been preaching this for years. I’m not upset or anything. At least I don’t think I am. But ya, it bothers me. I thought maybe writing it out and leaving it here would help. I got a Daisy cat purring on my lap. And I can read my book. I guess I could have plugged in a sleep meditation but I just didn’t want to. And the snoring!! And now with a purring cat on my lap and 2 blankets I guess I’m stuck here in my comfy chair.
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Dang, sorry I didn’t see this til now! Hope it all worked out. I often escape to our extra bedroom downstairs when my husband snores too loud, or when I’m too upset to sleep for whatever reason.
I’m glad I can do that. Hope you get better shut eye tonight!
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Sending you hugs dear friend Hope you had a safe travel.
Separate bedrooms are gold for snorrers. Life is so much better bearable with restful sleep. Snorring sucks. Saying this as I’m a big snorrer and my ex was complaining. Well, he sorred too so it was even.
Sorry wifey is drinking again. Never mind if one or hundred, it sucks. I hear you, enjoying the spouse sober and then feeling sad and then being effected by them drinking again is hard and heartbreaking. Like eroding the trust and good emotions that build up in being sober together. Of course you are a welltrained practitioner in focussing on yourself and your sobriety.
But that shit gets lonely and good sober times together alternating with the spouse drinking is for me like starting the car, enjoying the ride, suddenly turning the engine off in the middle of nowhere and not knowing when it will drive again. Repeat starting until engine is broken, battery is empty, you are sick of waiting and call the auto club to drop you at the next train station and the car at the next garage or simply have enough after the umpteenth try, hitchhike to the next town and abandon the broken car.
I’m surprised where this post went, take what you like and leave the rest. I admire your strength and your commitment to sobriety
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