Thank you @Tragicfarinelli my sobriety is my priority…ive already taken a step back today after ive heard what hes been saying about things and him refusing to admit he has an issue with drinking…thinking about him yesterday and how he would feel coming home afterward took me back to the morning i came home from hospital- my mother looked at me like she hated me, her eyes full of disgust when i would have given anything just for a hug and some compassion…i saved him going through that… but i do feel emotional even though its not about me…
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I’m chiming in late on this… but you amaze me. No, it’s not about you, but how could you not feel emotional? A step back and a bit of distance sounds right. And all the hugs from us. 
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Thank you so much Emm, theres more to the story now…social services have gotten fully involved (rightly so) because he has 2 daughters age 5 and 8 who witnessed this…theyve approached both their mothers (as they have different mums) hes not allowed to have any contact with them for the time being…also my stepdad isnt allowed any contact either because he was at the incident which doesnt make alot of sense as he was trying to diffuse the situation but that now means neither of my neices can be at my mothers house…my mother and stepfather babysit the girls when theyre at work so its gonna be difficult…ive offered my house for my mother to use if im at work and said i can help out with babysitting when im not…the girls are distraught bless them…they are my main concern…my mother is upset too…i said it will all pass and we just gotta pull together for the girls as best we can each day and take it day by day…im still keeping distance from my brother and focusing on my neices…tough situation all round.
@Dazercat im a little concious about hijacking this thread talking about this here…is this ok?
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Thank you for the update Kelly. What a complicated and tough situation for all involved. They say kids are resilient but I don’t agree in these circumstances. At least they have you and your family to help pick up the pieces. It’s gonna be hard on everyone for a while. Sending you all strength and love to get thru these tough times. 
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This is a public thread for anyone and so glad you feel safe sharing here. I’m terribly sorry for the circumstances that you are in. It’s so much harder when children are involved. Please never hesitate to share here.
Sending you strength and love. And the serenity prayer 
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Thank you Lisa, i mean…its not the first time they’ve seen him doing such things…it really shouldnt be…my daughter saw me drunk but never violent which is bad enough but ive been sober since…hes not learning his lesson…they keep seeing things…i love them so much…i see them as an extention of my own daughter like the other kids i didnt get time to have but im powerless as they arent my kids…its such a mess😥
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Thank you Eric, i just wanted to make sure this was all ok, thank you for opening this place for everyone its really helping me right now 
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I’ve been on both sides of the fence. It used to really bother me people I had let down with my drinking. The person who hurt me the most was addicted to pills. It’s a long testimony but I will sum it up by saying they overdosed after many attempts to help them get sober. I have dealt with my own problems for 20 years (alcohol). What I realize now is for some people it is a spirit that causes addiction. One day I prayed with all my heart for Jesus to take away my urge to drink and he did. Later I prayed he would take away any spirit of depression, suicidal thoughts or anxiety in Jesus name and he did that as well. If I could go back in time I would have prayed daily for the people I knew that overdosed. I’ve seen that it works not just with these experiences but with very undeniable ways others have observed.
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Just needing to vent again…im angry today…probably a secondary emotion to the worrying im doing about my neices…my brother has done wrong im not excusing it in any way but today my anger is also directed at my brothers partner…its not the first time my brother has been violent while drinking…hes hurt her before and the girls have seen it infact its happened a few times…so my question is this…why does she allow this? Nobody would come into my life and traumatise my child theyd be out the door and if that means i have to be single for the rest of time id do that! Surely if she cant do it for herself she could do it for her kids? Her saying she loves him just doesnt wash! We dont speak anyway so i wont be voicing this anywhere but here…
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I echo my previous post. You amaze me. Allow your anger at any one or all of them.
I don’t know what your sister in law is going through, thankfully, or why she has made the choices she has. I hope your nieces aren’t exposed to more than they have been. 
I do know that you have responded to this situation by modelling (to your Mom, your brother) what would have been a more appropriate, compassionate response to you. That’s big stuff.
I am not close to my siblings any longer, but if or when we interact, in the future, I may well be hitting up this thread… Thank you, @Dazercat, for starting it. Our loved ones aren’t necessarily always those we choose…, but may be from our family of chance. Sigh.
All the hugs to you, Kelly.
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Thank you Emm your so kind 
Something ive learned in my sobriety is to always try to keep my side of the street clean no matter what is thrown at me…its not that i want the moral high ground but i want to be true to myself and to keep the integrity that ive faught so hard for…there was a time i was vengeful of my brother after he cut me off for 9 long months but now im not…i can see the struggling addict in him, i wish him no ill will which shows me how far i must have come i guess. For my neices im struggling to keep a step back and not get too involved when really im sitting here wracking my brain how i can somehow make things better for them…kids should be allowed to be kids and not have to deal with all this adult bullshit 
Big hugs to you Emm, thank you for your kind words and lovely support 
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Sending hugs, you are amazing.
I needed to read the above today so many many thanks for this gem 
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Love you @erntedank
Thank you…i try…its all thanks to this site and the amazing people here you included why i am where i am today…its not easy but to keep your integrity- for yourself and your well being is really quite freeing…to treat people with respect in the face of disrespect is hard at times but you come away from it knowing you have stood firm in what you believe in, i even hugged my brother yesterday because i knew he needed it, not like a gesture it was real and it felt good.
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I vaguely remember that the idea to create a gratitude wall arose here on this thread when a wonderful fellow soberista suggested I could plant the dry stone wall to cover the hurtful monument with beautiful gratitude plants. Giving a shoutout to all of you and invite you to join in on this wonderful idea 
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I’m a grateful member of Al-Anon
With the move and all the craziness I missed my 2 year Al-Anon birthday.
They give out marbles for your anniversary date. Because most of us lost ours 
But I had to move so I didn’t get mine 
An Al-Anon friend of mine did give me a good bye chip. So we are calling that my 2 year.
You know in Al-Anon we relapse all the time. It’s impossible to keep track. But we do get better. And we don’t beat ourselves up about it. We learn to take care and love ourselves.
Al-Anon has saved my life and my marriage.
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Congrats Eric. You’ve come a long long way and your journey is still alive and interesting and you’re still traveling and seeking.
Much love! 
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Thank you my far away friend.
Love your support.
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Ah man… congratulations on your 2 year al Anon anniversary 
. Sure have come a long way in this short time. Should be super proud of your growth!
Wasn’t sure if it’s 2 marbles or a bunch of em so here is a few from me to you
So happy to be on this journey with you Dazerfriend
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Congrats to you, Eric. A day late and a dollar short, but just want to say you have been so helpful with this thread. I appreciate you!
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Yes, I can only agree with @Pattycake. You have been leading by example here and I greatly appreciate your input. It has helped me a lot
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