Husband is drunk and tried to pick a fight. I’m in bed.
Sometimes I dislike my husband as a drinker but tonight it is a good reminder of who I no longer am. I used to get drunk and sad. I used to be angry that my life was unchanging and that I seemed to be sliding backwards. I used to be very unhealthy and depressed.
Now, I am no longer drinking sad poison on the daily. My life right now is boring, a little self pity here for the pity party, and I won’t always be okay with that. I am okay with boring right now.
No matter how bored I get I won’t be looking at my husband with envy and wanting what he has at the moment. Alcohol sucks the life out of everything.
@TrustyBird I’m really sorry your having to go through this shit as you know he’s sick and knows not what he does ,just carry on keeping yourself safe .we all love you on here have a cry and congratulate you that your no longer in the madness yourself. I’ll ask my higher power this morning for your serenity tonight. if It doesn’t come and you can’t sleep have a vent on here . We’ve got you
I had kind of a sulky day today where I made sure to not have a lot of contact with my husband. If he can have a random moody day yesterday I can have mine today. Is this some weirdly co-dependent dance we are doing?
Anyway he is taking my distance and toping it with a heavy dose of manipulative (feeling) sadness texts. Which I am not appreciating. Its almost as if we are vying for victim attention. Gross.
I’ve been trying to fall asleep for the past two hours so I can be asleep before he gets home with zero luck. My co-dependent ass can’t sleep without him in the house. Sigh.
Another sleepless night. Tossing, turning and nightmares. According to FitBit I got 48 minutes of good sleep. At least I’ve got my medicine I’m sure it be way worse without it. Still haven’t heard anything from my son since he picked up his dirtbike title. Sigh. Going to be a long day with work. Just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.
I put your son in my prayers ,I’ll put you in them tonight. I wish you a peaceful good sleep. I put some meditation music on with calming breathing podcasts it helps me sometimes… sometimes I throw my phone to the other end of the bed Thought s are with you my friend @ trusty bird thought s and hugs sent to you too
So. Wifey said she reached a new low this morning as I got up before she came to bed. I was feeding the pets as she walked in with her empty wine glass. I just said the good morning I love you thing we do. And I’ve actually had a great day since. Course I’m a bit bothered mostly sad and grateful for all the work I’ve put in to me at Al-Anon where I’m not angry or resentful or anything. She’s sick. There’s only one cure.
I’m so happy I’ve put the effort into fixing me. Cuz there’s no way I can fix her. Or anyone else for that matter. Nor should I.
Damn this disease. I’m sorry friend. Grateful that you are putting in the work in your recovery! Grateful for Al-anon. Hopefully her admitting its a new low may build in her mind (for me i added up the lows in my mind till I had enough).
I’m glad you felt good today Eric because YOU deserve it I’ll pray tonight she finds her way through as we all are everyday:pray:t2: sending you big hugs tonight
Well my son finally returned home after a week long dope bender. He’s all broke out and skinny as a rail. If he doesn’t go to work tomorrow they’re going to fire him. You’d think I’d slept better last night with him home but I was still awake wondering what kind of dumb he was doing with my head turned. I finally just said I cant help what he’s doing and fell asleep at about 2am and had to get back up at 430am. It’s been a long day to say the least. So thankful I got sober.
Nah….
It’s to painful to watch your son whether he’s home or not.
I hope you can find the strength to let the natural consequences of his actions unfold the way they are going to unfold.
I’m sorry you’re going through this kind of hell. It took me a long time, especially as a parent, to actually think of the hell my son and daughter went through. I was too busy playing the victim. Poor me. But now I’ve learn. They are the ones really suffering from this terrible disease. I found it very difficult to find compassion. I truly believe they don’t want to be doing this.
have a cry and congratulate you that your no longer in the madness yourself. 
I’ll ask my higher power this morning for your serenity tonight. if It doesn’t come and you can’t sleep have a vent on here . We’ve got you 
. Hope today is a much better day for you 
Thought s are with you my friend @ trusty bird thought s and hugs sent to you too 
