I am grateful that you vented here. You have every right to be upset with this behavior. Grateful that he’s an ex now and hopefully soon you will be free of his bs completely 
Love does tend to make us make stupid decisions. Don’t give up on love my friend. You deserve happiness and love in your life. Not all men are like your ex.
Sending you so much love:people_hugging: 
I’m thinking of you, and sending some love and support. Hang in there!
This is a perfect place to rant, this is why we all are here to support each others. I’m glad you got rid of your ex. All the best to you, stay strong!
Lovely from you all, I appreciate the hugs and encouragement 
I had a lot of time to think today when I waited for the vet calling to pick up my Missi cat from tooth extraction.
Well, I caused this mess. It was me who contracted for mutual property. I could have not as I payed for everything alone. I wanted it. So I guess I have to bite the lemon: When I want to get rid of the ex and keep the farm I will have to pay. Otherwise I take my part of the sale and give up the farm. Either way: the day when the ex is off this property with his stuff will come. Annoyances WILL find an end. I’m so used to this conflict and forced binding I tend to forget that my anger and helplessness stand for the last twiches of letting loose and letting go. Eventually this will pass and I will be free of emotions and forced bonds. I will be sad, I wish for any kind of good end. I know it won’t happen. It’s ok, sometimes I tell myself fairytales of what could be in a world where the ex works on himself and takes responsibility, learns to communicate and is willing to put in lots of work & therapy. Surprisingly I always fall asleep after a few minutes 
I think I found my own bedtime good night storyline 
I’m grateful I can vent here, this really helps me to sort my thoughts and get my emotions on track again.
Missi cat is ok and not happy that dry food is forbidden for 5 days. I will spoil her with wet food, ham and meat paste. catlove is forever
aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh
*screaming into the void
*having murderous thoughts
*feeling like the most fucked dumbass on earth
aaaaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh
I just had a visit from the regional authorities. Well, the fucking cars and other crap the ex left here and never did anything about HAS TO BE REMOVED. As I’m living here now they told ME everything that has to be done. Yeah, I agree with everything! I would love all this shit to be gone! And I can do nothing about it.
They will send an order with deadline 15th october. Finally something I can throw on my ex’s head, resp. my lawyer can throw on his.
I am so fucking embarassed 
I told him dozens times to care about his crap. And to finish the stonewall.
Now I’m forced to tidy up for him. Again. I was really the dumbest dumbass on earth to sign for mutual property. I’m pissed. Really pissed.
Well, I will handle this too and I will survive it and I will NOT dwell in anger, unfairness or mimimi. I’m grateful I can rant here, I really feel better now. That’s life. It’s ennervating. I will eat gnocci with gorgonzola, have a pot of tea, nap and be grateful that it’s not ME who has to force him to do something.
And I’m content that I told him to fuck off with his “you have to send me the order immediately after it came”. Man, you will receive everything in time, try to be bossy and I tell you to fuck off. This easy.
Missi bumps her head into the phone and purrs away on me This is the real life that matters. Yeah, my anger is gone, I have a plan and everything will turn out as the universe wants to have it
Thank you for this outlet, it is amazing that typing out what I feel and a purring cat on my belly make the world peaceful and lovely again
You got this! Glad you can vent here and people listen like me!
Thank you
Oh, hugs, dear friend!
You weren’t, and aren’t, a dumbass. (You might be if, say, you were thinking you might be able to change him and should try the relationship again on that basis! But you aren’t thinking that at all…)
You tried to make it work. It didn’t. Out of love for yourself and the preciousness of your life, you - as they say - saved the only life could. Yours.
And you know, when you post about life at the farm, or in town, chats with the neighbours, your friends, cat cuddles, your time in the kitchen or garden or with books and music, there is a LOT of love in your life.
You said it best. 
It will get better. Might be a bumpy road here and there for a while, but it will get better. 
Your words made me cry a bit 
You are right, there will still be some bumps ahead on the road. And I know most of it lies behind me
These are only burps and twiches of loosening this forced conflict binding. Or ignorance binding. However.
My life is really good in general and I’m deeply grateful this kind of hickups occurs less and less. I do the best I can and I work hard, I care and I always was open to talk. No I don’t wanna change him. I’ve reached the point where I want peace for myself. I think that’s a main reason why I still get upset and pissed, but only for short and far less intense. I’ve got quite temper and my italian side wants to swing the rolling pin sometimes. That’s ok 
To be clear - I’m not saying don’t vent! Vent awayyyy!
Lord knows if this thread was around (and had I been sober) when I was going through my divorce and the immediate afterwards, I’d have been screaming AAARRRRGGGHHH into the void and calling everyone a dumbass. (Wait, I did that. And tried to make it all go away with wine. Heavy sigh…)
My ex and I shared a large home office that I worked from almost 100%, him rarely. His side was like an IT graveyard. I asked, begged, pleaded him to make the space more work-friendly for me, and then I just rearranged where I sat so I didn’t see his side. After we parted and I moved to a nearby town, when I was at the house (he stayed in it) to get something for the dog or whatever, imagine my surprise when I saw the office area void of dusty, obsolete computer manuals, the tangle of USB and printer cables, the open bin of assorted broken keyboards and mice, the useless desktop towers… Gone. Looked like a show home.
Yeah, I said some stuff to the void… 
We are both in pretty good places, you and I. Sure, I sometimes think I would like to have a partner. But, no one in particular comes to mind! My counsellor told me the perfect balance is to be open but not looking (in a “life is incomplete without” kind of way). And to be mindful of how good it feels to be unencumbered (dog girl and cats excluded!). I think he’s right.
Scream away, dear friend. That’s what we’re here for.
Screaming into the void - and sometimes me on my farm! - is so freeing 
I’m really happy that I vent away and the feelings are GONE. I like this freedom of heavy, persisting emotions. It was a loooong way and I’m not done yet but … reading & looking back: Fuck have I come far! It may sound weird, these days I enjoy getting upset and pissed because it’s for very short, showing me that the day is near when I don’t give a shit. Like emptying a muddy, dirty pool. Not much left. Will go. Sonner than later. To be honest, I’m really delighted that he gets his ignorant comfort zone crashed by authorities and I’m watching from the first row. This was the satisfaction I needed to move on happily with my life. One hurtful shot for him. I don’t even care much how this show will evolve. I told him that his crap has to go and had nothing to do with it. For me we are even now. I’m not a vengeful person, I just wanted him to hurt once on something he really cares (obviously not me or the farm). Karma delivered without any input from me. Strike. Out
I miss my lady friend with whom I had to end things, semi-recently, so. much. Achy brain, broken heart. Ugh²…
You made the right call as hard as it was. Stay strong @RoseCityRonin
I’m sorry friend. I know it hurts now but know that breaking things off was the best move. 
. Stay connected and strong friend…it does get easier
Thanks, @Cjp & @JazzyS. I appreciate the support.
I know it’s my addiction (and co-dependence issues) tryin’ to lure me back to the Darkness, so it can try and kill me. It’s such a pooptacular situation. 
I don’t post my Al-Anon time that often. But I thought this was cool.
Having 2 recovery programs has been so beneficial to my sobriety. Would recommend
Love you guys
hi friends. thank you @Matt for sharing this topic with me!
i’m 3 days sober, and i live with my brother who still smokes weed. we both gave up our other DOC’s a couple years ago, but we still continued to smoke weed. i know i can’t expect or push him to change just bc i stopped. that’s between him and his Higher Power.
i gotta say tho yall, it’s annoying as hell having weed right in my face all day. and it makes me sad and anxious that he won’t stop. he’s older than me, but i can tell he’s where i’ve been and still can revert back to, denial. thinking he’s got it. maybe even thinking there’s no problem. he justifies everything, and it’s frustrating bc it’s just like me!
i don’t wanna move away, i love him a lot. but i may have to leave for my own sobriety. my mom and her husband (he’s deep into his alcoholism, DEEP) are also not the best for my sobriety rn, and it kills me. well, my mom’s husband can politely and safely piss right off, but the thought of not being able to see my mom or brother hurts me deeply.
thank yall for lettin me vent here <3 hope yall are well !
Vent away It can help to type things out and share. You are not alone
For staying sober having a drug-free living environment is highly recommended. Give yourself some time and keep your focus on yourself to find out how to proceed. Maybe you can take a day off and stay at a sober friend or go away for a weekend vaccation to see how you feel in sober surroundings.
We are here for you.
you’re right friend, i hadn’t thought of meeting them in a public place! i haven’t told my mom i’m sober yet, but i’m sure she would understand if i explain to her that we would need to meet in public or away from drugs in general. thank you for the advice, i feel relieved that i don’t have to never see them again or anything drastic :]
thank you my friend, i appreciate your support ! i’m opening my mind up to the idea of eventually living somewhere else, and i think time away from home could definitely help. rn i don’t have anyone i can stay with, but i could try to be out of the apartment more so i’m at least not around it most of the day. thank you again, friend, and i hope you’re well <3
