After almost 2 years of sobriety, I relapsed. I got cocky & thought I could dip my toes back in and still have control. Instead what happened is I fell face first into the deep end… I’m disappointed, ashamed, and humbled.
I’m trying to remain positive and strong with this mistake. So here’s my positives;
Even though I relapsed, I am nowhere near where is was when I first decided to get sober. Nowhere near where I was as far as usage and as far as my depression goes. I haven’t completely destroyed my life this time, so fixing it and getting back to a better place should hopefully be an easier road than before.
This is an opportunity for a lesson. This is teaching me never to take my strength or sobriety for granted. And to trust myself in all aspects, except for my ability to control myself around these substances. Before I relapsed, I felt uneasy & unsure if I really wanted to, or should. I should have trusted that feeling. And now I learn that lesson.
So here I am, back and ready to move forward once again.
Welcome back! What did you do during those 2 years to maintain sobriety? What will you do different this time to avoid having that uneasy feeling again?
Thanks all. During those 2 years I formed a lot of healthy habits… exercise, eating healthy, art, meditation. After quarantine I went back to work & school at the same time ( I had been out of school for 6 years) and I found myself struggling to find time to decompress and focus on my mental health. I think that’s where this really began, & I think going forward I need to focus on health, mental & physical.
Thank you. I know I can do it because I’ve done it before so that makes the task a little less daunting. It’s just about committing and staying committed now.
Yes it’s a big hurdle, but when you are past a few monts it will be so much easier again. At least it was for me. Be here much, it helps with focus ànd commitment.
Thanks guys. I’ve deleted all contacts for my connections as well as money transferring apps I used so know even in a moment of weakness, I don’t have a line to them… and let’s go from there
Well I’m glad I could provide some sobering reality for you then. “Dipping your toes back in” is just a lie we tell ourselves to justifying using again I think. I strongly recommend NOT doing it. Instead remind yourself how far you’ve come. Is it really worth it to risk all you’ve worked for and start over again just to not “miss out”. And more importantly, why do we feel like we’re missing out when we don’t do these things. Really we are missing out on productive and healthy lives when we dip back in and give up all our hard work.
Ahh I see, well that makes sense now. It’s been so long since I’ve been on here that I forgot a lot of what I’ve posted. But now I’m back and diving back in!
Thank you for sharing this - I’m 2 1/2yrs sober and notice my thoughts contemplating drinking alcohol again. I recognise this feeling/thoughts of “missing out” or that it’s “not that bad” and even the good ol “I won’t end up like that again, I’m wiser now” and your post reminds me that if I believe or submit to any of these, I’ll be back here too, most likely full of regret and maybe even despair. I’m so grateful to not have regret and despair apart of my life anymore, and that is only because I made the wise and loving decision - over two years ago - to not drink alcohol. I became a non-drinker. I’ve noticed how full my life is when sober and there are SO many blessings that come with not drinking. Life is better. Thanks again, I appreciate your post. Sober life = our best life for sure
Welcome back!! Sounds like you are using this relapse to your advantage and digging deep. It is definitely a good reminder for me, so thank you for sharing your experience.
