Yes it’s a big hurdle, but when you are past a few monts it will be so much easier again. At least it was for me. Be here much, it helps with focus ànd commitment.
1 Like
Thanks guys. I’ve deleted all contacts for my connections as well as money transferring apps I used so know even in a moment of weakness, I don’t have a line to them… and let’s go from there
9 Likes
Welcome back. You did so well during those two years. I’m sorry to hear that you fell into the trap again. But it’s good to see you again.
4 Likes
How did you know I love Harry Potter?! Lol. That was just the welcome back I needed!
4 Likes
Well I’m glad I could provide some sobering reality for you then. “Dipping your toes back in” is just a lie we tell ourselves to justifying using again I think. I strongly recommend NOT doing it. Instead remind yourself how far you’ve come. Is it really worth it to risk all you’ve worked for and start over again just to not “miss out”. And more importantly, why do we feel like we’re missing out when we don’t do these things. Really we are missing out on productive and healthy lives when we dip back in and give up all our hard work.
12 Likes
3 Likes
Ahh I see, well that makes sense now. It’s been so long since I’ve been on here that I forgot a lot of what I’ve posted. But now I’m back and diving back in!
1 Like
Hullo!
I remember you from my early days here.
Nice to see you.
May all your strengths return to lift you up and carry you forward.
2 Likes
Thank you for sharing this - I’m 2 1/2yrs sober and notice my thoughts contemplating drinking alcohol again. I recognise this feeling/thoughts of “missing out” or that it’s “not that bad” and even the good ol “I won’t end up like that again, I’m wiser now” and your post reminds me that if I believe or submit to any of these, I’ll be back here too, most likely full of regret and maybe even despair. I’m so grateful to not have regret and despair apart of my life anymore, and that is only because I made the wise and loving decision - over two years ago - to not drink alcohol. I became a non-drinker. I’ve noticed how full my life is when sober and there are SO many blessings that come with not drinking. Life is better. Thanks again, I appreciate your post. 
Sober life = our best life for sure
4 Likes
I was gonna say….I’m pretty sure she’s mentioned it before!! 
1 Like
Welcome back. I am sorry you’re going through this but I’m happy to see you.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
1 Like
Welcome back!! Sounds like you are using this relapse to your advantage and digging deep. It is definitely a good reminder for me, so thank you for sharing your experience.
1 Like
Yes. Digging deep. I’m having some trouble in that area, I know it will take time and work. I think I’ve repressed things for so long. Even when I got sober before, I don’t think I dealt with everything. So this time I am ripping up all the roots and only replanting the good ones. No root going untouched.
Setting myself up for a long journey here, but the finish will be worth it.
2 Likes
Thanks. Very true and insightful. I will definitely follow that recommendation
2 Likes
My therapist uses that exact same example. He says life (and events in life, the things we see and perceive and experience) are the leaves, but those are just the surface. Go deeper and you get to the branches, go deeper and you get to the trunk, go deeper and you get, finally, to the roots.
We’ve been working on developing a “Positive Interaction Cycle”. Essentially that’s about feeling and expressing things, as they are, just getting those words out to someone (a supportive person, usually though not always in a recovery group of some type) - getting those words out and then being seen and validated. Doing this instead of running and burying and neglecting emotion (which is what I’ve done for so long).
The roots are deep in the dirt. But the answers and the growth is there too.
Wishing you a dirty journey 
2 Likes
WOW. you just hit the nail on the head here. That’s a great idea for healthy behavior and emotion processing. Right now my emotion processing is abysmal… I’m going to give that a try, being more vocal and verbally acknowledging my emotions.
1 Like
Yes. You can speak it aloud to yourself - I do that often (at home, in the car, anywhere I have a moment to speak my emotions) - and you can share about it in groups (AA, SMART Recovery, Dharma Recovery, Women for Sobriety, or any of the other recovery programs): all those people in recovery know what you’re going through and can validate how you feel.
Our feelings are essential for our survival. Feelings evolved to help us recognize signals, and meet our needs. We need to sense and understand feelings the same way we need sight, or hearing, or touch, or any sense.
I find this feelings inventory helpful when I’m trying to figure out “what am I feeling here?” (often I just know I’m feeling something but I don’t know what - giving it a name helps see it and respond to it):
https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/feelings-inventory
Once I know the feeling, I can connect that with a need. All feelings are about meeting needs. (If I’m sad I need comfort, if I’m happy I need to celebrate [sober obvs ], if I’m angry it means something is wrong or off, and I need to get that recognized and get a response and a next step.) This needs inventory is helpful:
https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory
You deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self. You are a good person and you deserve to feel good about what you are doing and the life you live.
4 Likes
Love the positive attitude and the resiliency to fight and ultimately win. As you said there is always an opportunity for a lesson in every failure. As a matter of fact it is only a failure when the lesson presented is not learn.
Good luck on your next journey and God bless.
4 Likes
Welcome back, I had 2 and 1/2 years myself when I did the exact same thing thinking I could “handle” it. I was right for that day but was quickly reminded that I have zero control over it. So I know exactly what you are going through. Best of luck in your new road to recovery, it’s just as great as the other road.
3 Likes
Welcome back!! We all fall, but it takes somebody to get back up. Stay strong, have faith and don’t forget to pray.
1 Like