Attn: Men! Question for You!

Just for Fun
1

DOES ANY MAN ALIVE ACTUALLY CLEAN ANYTHING???

It’s literally as though my boyfriend physically cannot see dust, dirt, grim etc. in his house. Nothing gets clean unless I clean it! Not the bathroom, not the kitchen, not the living room. Nothing. I purposefully haven’t been cleaning anything JUST TO SEE HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE HIM TO CLEAN SOMETHING and I literally could not stand it anymore. Especially the bathroom. I had to throw the shower curtain liner away because there was literally moldy grim that I bleach wouldn’t remove.

My boyfriend is the nicest man on the planet, great guy, fun, caring, and wonderful but the man doesn’t clean!!! His version of cleaning is “straightening up”. He gets all “look babe, I cleaned!” But straightening up is not cleaning.

WHYYYY!!!

He is not the only guy I know that is like this, I talked to my girlfriends and many of their husband’s apparently are the same way and I’m wondering is there a man alive who actually cleans!?!

Guys! If you want to make your girlfriend extra happy one day, pick a room and clean it! With bleach, with wipes, dust, vacuum, use a swiffer, whatever it is. She will love you the whole day!

:woozy_face::pleading_face::tired_face::crazy_face::upside_down_face:

Edit - thank you everyone for your perspectives and advice! It’s all very helpful! To those who got the wrong impression with it being sexist or taking advantage of - I didn’t mean for it to come off that way at all! It’s not like he doesn’t appreciate when I clean and he certainly doesn’t expect me to do it for him. It’s just like he literally doesn’t see it or it doesn’t bother him. But I stay there and it bothers me, and while I’ve communicated that to him before, I apparently need to do it again and be more clear as to my level of tolerance. He’s always been more than happy to compromise and make sure that my happiness is a priority in so many situations, this is just one area that I finally blew my lid with!

Second edit: this post certaintly wasn’t meant as an attack at “all men” rather more in jest as I’ve noticed this particular theme of men that I know personally (i.e. my boyfriend, other male friends, husband’s of my girlfriends, etc.) Maybe it’s in the water around me haha i don’t know.

All I really want is TEAMWORK like some of the other members have mentioned and that comes down to 100% communication, actions not just words, and needs being met - so I 100% agree with those of you who have mentioned these things.

This post really was just a need to vent for a second and I put it under the just for fun category on purpose, hence the overall theme of jest admist the frustrating issue.

Third edit - It’s a miracle!!!. I got pretty upset this morning about this whole situation. I left around 10am and when I went back around 1030pm the place was SPOTLESS. People - i have NEVER seen his place this clean ever in my life.

I GOT THROUGH TO HIM!!! FINALLY!!! SUCCESS!!!

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This is sexist bs. Grow up and stop expecting women to clean up after you.
@Brookiemonster618 talk to your man, not the internet. Lay down some 21st century rules. It’s not acceptable you are his fucking maid. 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

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Yes, we do. Some of us aren’t lucky enough to have an SO in our lives to help us maintain a tidy ship. Some of us have to cook, clean, shop, work on the house, clean the yard, wash the car, do the laundry ALL BY OURSELVES!
I hate to say it but perhaps the apple picked is not ripe for the picking, if you catch my drift? Remember, that in any relationship, compromise is the base to success. Without it, the relationship becomes one sided as far as “who’s doing the work”. A job is a job that brings in money but the job of keeping a home clean and comfortable is entirely separate as a responsibility.
I am fortunate in the regard that my mom beat it into my head that a clean bathroom and a sink free of dishes is the most important part of the house to keep clean. Plenty of girls I’ve dated or even just friends are impressed that my place isn’t a warzone.
TALK TO YOUR MAN! Please. If there’s anything I’ve learned in this program of sobriety it’s being open and honest with everyone… If it bothers us so much, we must express it or else we take a chance at relapse and I for one do not want that to happen.

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Because of my wife’s work schedule I most of the cleaning, laundry and dishes. I usually get up with the kids and do breakfast as well as the nightime routine. I also work a full time job. This isn’t a knock at my wife. She is amazing. She’s done lots of repairs and landscaping. She just has a really hard work schedule.

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I certainly do my best. My girls are terrors, and my mom and step dad don’t help much with cleaning. But I respect I live there so I just try to do what I can. My house is definitely not spotless and for now untill I can get my own place I just learn to accept it. Things could be worse for me, as they were lol.
But for sure, politely just be like babe do you think you could help me clean a lil today? I’ll get the kitchen you get the bathroom? If I had a gf id have no problem being like heck yeah let’s get it, but sometimes i am just clueless about shit and don’t know to always help or do this. Or notice :joy:

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My husband vacuums, mops and polishes and cooks, he is a cleaner cook than me :rofl:. He is a surface cleaner, the oven and inside cupboards are usually my domain (admittedly are overdue). He has been moaning about housework lately as it burdens him, so my answer may change :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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I can assure you NO not all men are like this im a clean freak if i see something out of place or dishes not washed trash isnt taken out living room a mess im quick to do something about it i cant stand a messy home :grimacing::man_shrugging:t4: drives me crazy :rofl: Growing up my mother drilled it in me my brother is a Marine maybe that has something to do with it ? Mayb but. Dont worry keep pushing him best of luck :pray:t3:

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It’s not just Men. I’ve dated women that are complete slobs…not very long though🤣. Military and upbringing helped me. But some people just don’t care.

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Amen to that!:rofl:

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Perhaps it is not about gender but personality type. Some people find their partner too fastidious, others too relaxed about cleaning. That is how we are.
I think the best way possibly is to recognize the differences we have and bring out each others’ strengths and discuss what we would prefer differently.
:pray::heart:

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My wife does most of that stuff and i do the home maintenance, yardwork, snow removal, remodel projects and those types of things, it evens out.

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There is a whole lotta sociological data that women, on average, in the US, do much more unpaid domestic labor than men. This thread is of course not about averages but individuals. But the studies are worth knowing about. You’re not alone, and it is partly about gender.

My current male partner truly pulls his weight. But when that’s not happening, it’s hard. It is tough to change cultural norms.

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i’m not a man, but its really fuckin’ hard to find someone as you describe. no more wasting time - get to talking to him. if he’s all those things he will compromise with something. me and my ex kinda had it figured out - i’d do the cleaning and he’d frequently treat me to really good food out or nice gifts :heart:

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my mother taught us well love ironing and im a good cook . and a expert at diy sorry my wife isnt lol

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ohh i love a man that cooks and DIY’s! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: :heart:

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I’m a qualified chef, steward so a lot of the cleaning I do, and have done most of my life.
My mum taught me to iron cus she said she wasn’t going to iron my navy uniform because she had done my dad’s.
We have always shared the chores because we both work. Even when my wife was off with the kids I still did the houseworkt because I know what it’s like having a kid to look after.

Personally, and I’m not being in any way funny here, but surely you women are with men long enough to know how domestic they actually are before you settle down with them.

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This made me laugh. My bf rarely cleans. Vacuums maybe once a month and does the dishes twice a month. And always looks for a thank you when he does. He does however love yard work, which I do not. My ex(daughters father) helped out a lot around the house. We basically split chores equally. But he was a total jackass. There are definitely men who clean and some that dont. I feel it’s part of how they were raised and what they saw growing up. I lived in a household where my mother did all of the cleaning so it’s just second nature for me to do the same. I’d have a talk with him. Maybe he doesn’t realize the amount of work you’re actually putting into it.

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Is that a libra thing? I’ve never heard that before (I’m a libra)

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I am obviously a shit girlfriend. I don’t care about how clean the house is :joy: my boyfriend is actually more bothered by that kind of thing.

If I’m not happy with how something is I usually just sort it myself 🤷

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People have varying tolerance for pain, likewise, people have different tolerance for messiness. Are the two related? Perhaps they are, someone should look into that. I digress; This tolerance for messiness isn’t gender specific, but I believe it tends to skew towards the male side of the spectrum. The ability and willingness to clean also isn’t gender specific, my wife and daughter don’t do shit, ergo, I do all the cleaning. :rofl:

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