That’s it mate I’ve already had more than enough chances sometimes it baffles me that I’m still here. But I’m truly grateful for that now in understanding just waking up and existing is a blessing in itself.
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Thank you - I am remembering how I felt during the 6 months I managed a year or two ago and what you said there really resonates with that
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Thanks for the kind words. And as it happens I DID have that conversation with my wife last night! She needed to hear how much of a struggle trying to moderate drinking is for me and that the only conclusion I can draw is that it stops completely. She gets it, she wants me to be happy, she wants me to do whatever I feel I need to do and she supports it. So I think that’s going to really help over the coming couple of weeks (which is always the hardest period for me)
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Thank you. Nail on head. As the last drink I had made it completely clear I had reached the point it all needed to stop. At 3pm, sitting in the sunshine I said to myself I am DEFINITELY having these 2 beers from the fridge that were left in there and that was it. 30 mins later the 2 beers were gone and I was pouring a strong gin. Fortunately I was able to be clear headed enough to realise it represented the end of the line for me and alcohol
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This is so true - even when I was being “controlled” (lets say no alcohol Mon-Thurs) - the entire week would be spent gearing up for that moment and desperately trying to do 4 days clean just so I could ‘justify’ going overboard at the weekend. It wastes so much energy on something that ultimately may provide 20 mins relaxation followed by many many hours of misery
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Update 05/08/26 - Couple of false starts in the past 2 weeks. Its a bumpy ride getting going again. I think I am in that push/pull zone between “are we really doing this?” and “I cant do this, its not realistic”. Having 3 weeks annual leave from work is making it harder. Its the whole “where does the release come from if I don’t have this?” debate - mindfulness, meditation or “a quick jog” just has never done it for me
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I can relate to what your saying. I’ve been tricked so many times into thinking I can control my drinking, that a couple won’t hurt. I now recognise that I can only control my first drink, after that all bets are off.
It was taking way more outta me than I was getting from it.
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For me the concept of sobriety is not needing a release in the first place. That requires some pretty deep work that is definitely more than just practicing mindfulness etc. I agree that those are not enough. Usually sobriety is achieved through sustained, daily work that focuses on recovery. This includes a recovery program, addiction counseling and therapy, or outpatient rehab.
I have found that minimal efforts will lead to minimal results. I have yet to find a shortcut to sobriety, and lord knows I spent some time trying to find one.
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How are you doing?
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Welcome back.
I went through a lot of mental gymnastics trying to moderate. And failed. When I decided it was a firm NO MORE, NO MATTER WHAT then I was able to move forward.
It takes work and discipline but it’s worth it, especially as a mom with young kids and teenagers.
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Your whole comment felt like me exactly…
We are definitely rowing the same boat.
Without the advice of an ally, and the support & insights of this community, I’m cooked. That’s why my goal is to be here every day.
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I managed that for 6 months before, and it worked. I went back to alcohol after that because I thought I was ‘cured’ - but its been a rough couple of years since. I’ve had many false dawns in that time trying to kick off sobriety for good again,but my life has more stresses in it than last time I managed it and I am REALLY struggling to get going this time. I failed again yesterday unfortunately so its another day 1. I am just waiting/hoping for things to click - its weird but I can FEEL when I am mentally ready for stopping drinking and I just am not getting that feeling recently (last 2 years) - despite the damage its doing to me
Waiting and hoping sounds like a recipe for disaster. Grab the reigns and take control of your life. Don’t let alcohol be in charge.
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