I personally found that feedback is good. At least one knows we are in a positive position.
As to how you feel?
That’s understandable regards where you find yourself! I think most of us felt/feel the same. More so having been through the sorts of things you have. But that to me is where the growth starts.
We are aware of that shortcoming, we look at our life’s and wonder wtf we have done!
In my experience, a large part of sobriety is staying positive. Hence gratitude lists, it helps to keep us grounded in the now.
The reason we say one day at a time is because we can’t change the past. It’s gone. We can’t worry about the future because it’s not happened yet. What we do today, helps to determine that future so we live in the now.
I didn’t get sober until I was 52, one of my children is now an adult, I can’t remember much of her life. But, I can be present for her and the rest of my family now, today. And for that I am eternally grateful.
Something that stuck in my mind in early sobriety is that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Everything that has gone before is like training us for what is to come. So with that in mind, instead of seeing the negative waste of life we see the positive of I’m better equipped to deal with what is to come.
Keep doing what you are doing, another saying is keep taking the next right step. Let your higher power, however you see it, guide your choices knowing that you are moving in the right direction.
If that means therapy then so be it. Whatever you feel is needed.
Day 70
Trying to be more in the present lately. Feel what I feel and accept what is. Taking it a bit easy these days…
The only thing that could make me drink again is when I give up totally on everything (and I’m not planning on that). But the idea of one drink? Nah, it’s not gonna happen, because I know I cant have, nor do I want, only one.
I read this a couple of times the past week. I’m trying to smile more, focus on the positive by counting my blessings (I am blessed!) and being grateful for being sober, in stead of focussing on what I missed. I do still feel a lot of pain though and I have/want to work on that. But I think those emotions can coexist. I hope some day I will be at ease with my past and forgive people (mostly myself).
Hey, day 70 for me too here!
This past week was hard for me - I had to remember myself what you just wrote: playing the tape of what happened and what would happen if… What was even harder is that at one point I was like: “Wooof, I think about it so much that I might not have the choice but to drink, it’s too hard to tolerate…” And that was scary because it would mean what you said in the last part of this quote, that I was ready to give up on everything?! Damn! Nope! that’s not what I want. So had to step back alot this week and focus on being present and looking for answers about “why am I feeling this way”. Turns out I was tired and stressed. Pretty tired and stressed. And alcohol was always my go-to’s when I was tired and stress - for like ever. So this week I am planning on taking more time for me, take time to breathe during the day. From day 60 to 70 I realized I have to switch from sprinting all-out to steady long-run game, which mean to manage more efficiently and intentionally my energy. Just wanted to share!
I’m happy you’re still there and with a good mindset. It’s nice to see!
Everything will come in time. Just have faith in yourself.
Well done on 70 days.
You may not feel like it but every day sober does brings growth!
But it’s not going to happen quickly, personally it took me nearly a year to feel anything like good with life and how I saw myself.
It’s different for everyone.
Just keep going.
Hey sober twin, good to see you too still rockin’ it! 
Congrats with your 70 days 
I know right, it’s like we have to learn how to cope with normal stuff without the booze. Learn to take care of ourselves too… But we’re on the right way!
Day 78
I watched the Queens gambit, loved the show but boy did it trigger! Weird how seeing an addict drink and smoke can make my mouth water for alcohol… Its like my brain is playing dr Jekyll and mr Hyde. One side feels so good being sober and doesnt feel deprived, but the other side is saying: lets go back to the dark side and get wasted.
Saaaame I watched it 2 weeks ago in ONE day and I had to force myself to stay home because I thought of going to the groceries to buy some myself… I guess we can call that an “exposition” , so it’s better to have done that with a movie instead of, for example, in a bar with friends or something.
Happy 78th to you, sober twin 
I’ve seen more movies with drinking and stuff, but this one was baaaad! Never seen addiction being so glamourized and downplayed.
I really started to question myself if drinking is really that bad. Pffff! I feel so stupid for thinking like that 
🙅
Good you still going strong too! 
I know that feeling. I’ve watched loads of stuff or even read it listened to books full of drug taking and drinking.
I sat a binged White lines which took me right back to the 90’s rave scene.
Yes I sit there every time and think " wouldn’t it be good?" I mean I was never hooked on pills, weed or coke was I? I stopped doing them, no problems"
But I know and I have made that conscious decision as to how I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
I’ve accepted my situation, doesn’t stop me thinking about it, but by accepting where I am, I can just reminisce and move on.
It’ll come guys, just keep working on the mindset.
Positive reinforcement, we don’t need external substances to enjoy ourselves. The body creates enough on its own.
Yes, its that little devil aka mr Hyde talking…
Well said, and very relatable. I am right there with you. My very best to you!
Hello! Thank you for asking!!! I am good today. I am on day 3 after getting back in on-off (mostly on) drinking since late July. I had a good 3 month stretch prior. Same story… Thought I could manage a little drinking. Filed for Divorce in April, sold the house and moved in July, divorce was final Oct. 1. Quickly moving and stressful process yet no regrets. I re-listened to Annie Grace, This Naked Mind over Monday and Tuesday on Audiobook and feel very encouraged. Having significant night sweats which actually makes me happy as a sign I am getting rid of the toxins. It has been a wild ride yet feeling I am now off the interstate and heading into the peaceful rural roads with better scenery! 
How are you, @Naomi???
Ah yes, the thought of being able to drink again…I think we all have to go through that one (one or multiple times). Annie Grace has some nice youtube videos about that topic. I’m listening to her videos atm too.
You’ve been through quite some stuff the past months, but great that you’re maneuvering yourself into a better, peaceful place, good for you! The first week does kind of suck but you’ve been there before, so you know can do it! 
It is nice to see you back. Home is a place where no matter how long you’ve been gone, someone is happy when you return.
Welcome home.
Good seeing you 
welcome back! 
Day 84
Nice to notice the different feelings in a day. I feel bored, happy, relaxed, frustrated, loved, insecure. No need to numb or reinforce those feelings with alcohol. I just let them pass, accept them, feel them, even the not so nice ones. It makes me feel alive, present and so much more ‘me’.
Day 90
Three months in and for some days now strongly thinking about drinking again. “I’m ok now, I can have a night off.” It’s bizar, I know how the game goes, but thinking like that still got me by surprise.
I’m going on a hiking trip to the mountains this Christmas and my friend is already thinking about which wines to take with her… I said I won’t be drinking, but there’s this whiney voice in the back of my head saying: “maybe you will.”
Without booze I feel at ease, I walk a lot and even started running, I sleep good and am well rested, the relationship with my son is great, I’m applying for a more challenging job, my self worth is growing, I’m optimistic and happier over all. Plus, I haven’t canceled ANY appointments these last three months! I feel like I’m starting to take these things for granted though.
So MAYBE I’m able to have some time ‘off’, but what then? Give my liver another punch. Hangovers!
Hell no, it’s not worth it. I needed to write this down to remind myself where I came from.
It’s not just a night off tho is it?
It’s that one, seeing it as a “treat” a one off… Then a while later another one, the slow creep. The dark Shadows slowly creeping back.
Why would you let it back in? Why would you ruin your holiday with the morning after regret of having let the drink back in?