No energy or mood to anything honestly. I know how it is to feel like this because I feel like this almost every day, but still it’s so horrible.
I’m a lot tired from my school and my work, I wish I had some time to just chill and to not worry about anything… But I was grown in strict family, where even on holidays you must work or study and now when I’m adult, I often overwork myself, because when I give to myself some free time to chill, I feel a lot anxious and I hear voices, how they say to me I’m doing nothing and I’m just useless.
Sometimes I just in general feel like a shit, like for example today I as well do feel like this. Does my life even make a sense? Does jt cost to continue something? I have no friends, no partner, only myself and my two dogs and sometimes I feel so lonely. And, of course, these goddamnit voices. They’re all the time.
Last days I think about only alcohol, I really got some wish to just drink and drink until I will lose my breathe or something like that. But I’m still keeping sober from it. I was alcoholic and honestly I don’t wanna again be an alcoholic.
It’s hard now. It is. And like a naive kid I’m waiting for some magic sparkle which will help me.
Idk if that sparkle will come, but honestly in deep of my soul I believe in it.
Oh boy, this little kid naiveness will never leave me.
Also I don’t know if this all makes any sense, I just want to share to someone my thoughts.
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Hey @nastya_is_fighting, might I suggest posting in the check in thread instead of opening many new topics? It helps to keep the forum tidy and you’ll get a lot of regulars reading your shares cos the thread is very active. 
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That ‘sparkle’ you mention is something that you find from within yourself. Life doesn’t just bring it to our front door sober or not.
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Oh, I didn’t know I can just write in threads or something like that? Sorry, I’m new here so yeah.
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Hm, that makes sense. Maybe some part of me still believes in that some day everything is gonna be okay.