Being lonely during recovery

Advice & Questions
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Since I started my attempt on recovering from my addiction (Not drugs or anything too dangerous thankfully) I’m starting to notice how little friend and community I have. This is worsen by the fact that many of my old hobbies is now alien to me. Right now I’ve just spent 40-ish minutes trying to find something to do that can get me into a community or somethings similar even though I know that doing this first is not the right way. I felt like i should’ve been focusing on restoring those hobbies first but when i tried it just felt wrong as if i’m just wasting time, probably because i’m being impatient?

So for an example, if i want to look for a community online i would be reluctant because of thoughts such as “i don’t think it’s what i truly wanted” or “i don’t think i can blend into such a large community” but when i try to do a (in face value) not really productive hobbies such as reading a novel or comic, playing a game, ect thoughts of loneliness made me felt like it’s a waste of time because “These isn’t going to improve my life”. But when i try to do my hobbies which are anything related to telling a story (Drawing, writing stories, game making) i would feel like i can’t imagine a good enough story because i didn’t read many good novel or comic for years.

I’m still trying to understand this feeling, any help is appreciated.

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I hear you. I’ve had that feeling too. The catch is this: other people come and go; the one that’s with you always is yourself. I’m not saying you have to always be just yourself, but if you’re not comfortable with yourself it is hard to be with others.

Are you comfortable with yourself?

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I can definitely relate. Alcoholics Anonymous gave me a wonderful sense of community to be apart of and to be service too. I got stuck right into it and within a year I had keys to two meetings, became a group service rep which involved me doing work to spread the message of recovery such as distribution of fliers, and I was even offered to be secretary or treasurer of meetings. It gave me a sponsor who is kind of like a mentor, it also lead me to travel all round the country for three day events with hundreds of other aa members. I’d highly recommend it. If you want to get stuck in straight away although we can’t attend in person meetings right now there’s a plethora of online ones. Easy enough to find. I made a thread in the forum if you search aa zoom meeting marathon you’ll find it. One meeting in particular is 24/7.

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if you enjoy your time spent working on your hobbies its worthwhile. getting “good enough” at anything takes time and practice and dedication to your craft, whatever it may be. just keep working at it. when were addicted we often have low self esteem, low self worth, and in recovery we can work towards developing those areas and start seeing ourselves in a new light :slight_smile:

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op doesnt have a drinking problem

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Thank you all for your replies, this community just keep on giving :smiley:

//yeah, i’m actually addicted to youtube (out of all things), i’d procrastinate for hours for the past 4 years just binge watching videos during almost all of my free time.

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Don’t be afraid of being a beginner. We all started our hobbies at one time.
Hugs

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You know start making videos on youtube since you watch it all the time. Videos about your struggle leaving the addiction or fly a drone and record it do something stay busy don’t think about going back, stay strong before you know it you’ll be alright

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I’m a media binge-er too. All kinds of video media. I realized in my recovery that it was a form of escape. I cut video out unless I planned the video time. For example, a planned movie night with my wife is fine - video as a shared experience in our marriage - but turning Netflix on automatically while cooking, eating, brushing teeth, walking around the house - that is just saturating myself with media to drown out my thoughts, which is the first step on my stairway down to relapse. Long story short, media as a tool for numbing or drowning out thoughts and feelings, is problematic. (So much of all types of addictions is using things to numb / escape / avoid life, responsibilities, thoughts, feelings. For me, media saturation was “Addiction Lite”.) (Edit - for full disclosure here - I don’t live an austere life with no video at all; I should have phrased it differently. But I schedule time daily so that I can have the time to achieve the things I want, like learning a language. If there’s time for video outside that, it’s ok - it isn’t preventing me being who I want to be.)

Media sites - video sites in particular - are carefully designed to capture and maintain interest and attention: lists of videos, previews, click, tap, skip, next, next, next, auto-play … The whole experience is like slot machines at a casino. It is very carefully designed to capture and maintain attention, as long as possible.

The American Psychiatric Association identified Internet Gaming Disorder as a problematic condition in their most recent diagnostic manual. Gambling addiction - including internet gambling - is a full-on addiction there too. Both of these disorders are based on the same manipulation of the reward pathways: keep coming, keep rolling, click, click, click, next, roll, swipe, skip, watch.

If you feel something is holding you back from being your best self, I know a bunch of people in recovery who will look at you and say, all right, you want to be your best self, you can do it - and here’s how. Find a program and work it, and you’ll see changes.

Don’t get too wrapped up in whether it’s a “real” addiction or not. It’s obviously enough of a problem for you that you created a profile here. So welcome to the community! Check out some of these resources - SMART Recovery in particular I think would probably be a good starting point but feel free to explore - find a program that interests you, try it out:
Resources for our recovery

Looking forward to walking the journey with you :innocent:

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@Sprout I found a thread about exactly the problem you’re discussing in this thread! Here it is. Lots of good advice there already :innocent:

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@Sprout >

when i try to do my hobbies which are anything related to telling a story (Drawing, writing stories, game making) i would feel like i can’t imagine a good enough story because i didn’t read many good novel or comic for years.

I know how you feel… getting back into hobbies and such is really hard. One of the things that got me back into my creative outlet, however small it may be, is art supply subscription boxes… there are all kinds for different kinds of interests and a great online community to go with them via YouTube, Instagram and others.
I like art snacks, sketch box, scrawlrbox, and paletteful packs. If you are into comics and/or illustrations I think there are some good marker/pen boxes, although the aforementioned boxes occasionally cater to such as well.
Let me know if you want more info!
Art, no matter how great or small, is so good for mental health and probably other things…lol…
Good luck and be well!
This is a great community as well… I’m so glad I stumbled upon it!! :heart:
-kat

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Thank you all for your tips :smiley:

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