Hi everyone
I need some survival tips,I’ve a wedding at the weekend and it’s going to be a proper drinking one,I’m fine with the idea at the minute but I know how quickly these thoughts can invade,I feel good in myself,almost 2st off since I got sober 113 days ago but how am I going to listen to so many drunk people,drunk people are dicks,I was one of those drunk dicks😫leaving early is not an option,we’re staying in the venue as the hubby is best man🤭
I would suggest you write some shit down. If we take the time and put in effort in preparations it might give you a few moments to collect your thoughts. Take your own drink. Plan what you intend on drinking. Be prepared to take a walk to have you moments. And here comes the stuff you are hesitant to do. Just because you are staying at the venue doesn’t mean you can’t retreat. Quite the opposite. You have a safe place to go back to early! And you don’t have to have your own vehicle. It’s your sobriety nurture it like you would an infant.
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I know it feels challenging, but if hubby is best man, he will be busy. If you are not in the wedding then surely you can put in your time and them retire to your room, pool, sauna, hot tub, spa ( if you are so blessed) and have some wonderful relaxing down time. Or go walk around outside…is it in the city? Country? What is nearby? Nothing says you need to hang around the wedding for hours on end. Or if you love kicking up your heels, then just dance your ass off all night…let it go and shimmy shimmy shake it off if that is your thing…release your energy! I myself would go read quite happily outside in the sun or in my room or rent a bicycle out and explore. Nothing holds you to the venue but expectations. Do what YOU need to do to baby and protect your sobriety. 
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I went to a drinking wedding at 30 days sober. Fortunately, I had a sober friend also there but had she not been there, I would have made prior arrangements with 2 or 3 sober people that were going to be home during those hours to insure I had more than one person I could call.
I kept my starter chip (white chip) and my 30 day chip in my pocket and a few times had to reach in and hold tight to both.
You can excuse yourself politely when it gets ramped up by saying that you aren’t feeling well and you will not be lying. It’s a sickening thing to be around drunks.
Never make it about that you “can’t be around the booze”. It will mark you and label you socially pretty much forever. Because truth is…we can. We will never escape booze. What we can’t, won’t, and shouldn’t have to do is tolerate drunks…and if those drunks get sober they won’t be able to stand themselves either.
You’ll be doing hubby and others a favor by leaving if it is really getting to you. No one likes to look at the person they love, see that they’re miserable, and be able to have a blast. And truth be told a drunk hates being around sober people.
If you do leave early have a plan in place to NOT FALL INTO SELF PITY. Leaving will take courage, bravery, and strength. Our disease will tell us we’re weak, we’re unwanted, unloved, etc. Have tools in hand in advance to combat that stinking thinking. And know that leaving IS A VICTORY NOT A DEFEAT.
Call the people you’ve lined up in advance.
Have a chip or smooth stone on you.
Pray.
Have fun.
Take care of YOU.
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Weddings are fun even without drinking! I’m guessing the food will be even better than the booze. Celebrate! Dance! Eat! And know the next morning you won’t be miserable with a hangover like everyone who over imbibed the day before. That is the best feeling! You might miss the after party, but that will ne filled with the drunks who can’t stop drinking. Go back to the hotel and chill.
Thank you so much everyone,from reading all your comments I feel fully charged up & ready to do this😊I’ll be waking up the next morning regretting nothing😊
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