Welcome! I was an everday drinker, I was a binge drinker, and at times i was “trying, but failing” moderate drinker. Life is exponentially better sober. Talking sober, AA, a lot of truth and hard work has kept me sober.
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I am exactly the same way. I can’t just baby a drink. If it’s in front of me I am drinking it. I can drink 3 drinks to some of my friends 1 drink. I have been at functions when I the only one still drinking. I didn’t drink on a daily basis either. Today is day 28 after going cold Turkey. The first week was the worst with urges and cravings, but they are fewer now. This site has helped ALOT. Welcome and we are here if you need anything
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31 years old and the same as you! Didn’t drink every day, able to have a couple drinks and be done, but most of the time binged and did stupid shit. Almost lost my marriage over it. I also tried to make rules for myself when I drank, but like someone said above, once I hit a solid buzz all rules went out the window. I’m on day 23 now and I can’t believe I put myself through all that for as long as I did. I realized that even though I can control my drinking sometimes, sometimes I can’t and that’s reason enough never to pick up the bottle again.
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Hey there! I’ve had periods of weekend binge drinking. It was awful. The weekends also began to start earlier - Thurs, wed, and end later - mon. You get the picture. I used to think i wasn’t an alcoholic because i could go a day or three without a drink. But my obsession was such that this required all my energy, down to creating a calendar with a sticker star chart, or creating a weird point system to control my drinking frequency. Guess what?! Turns out this is alcoholic behaviour! I go to AA and am sober for over 6 months. It feels miraculous and had changed my life for the better in every way. Hang around! 
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YES! This is exactly my situation. I can sometimes be okay but 7/10 that’s isn’t the case. Okay, maybe 8/10. I can go two weeks without anything but as soon as the plan involves drink, I am ON IT. Which isn’t cool because I have same attitude I had when I was 16.
I just feel I need to catch it now and grow up before it happens more often and starts being a more regular thing. I clearly can’t be a moderate drinker and feel I owe it to myself and relationships to give soberity my best efforts!
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Thank you MinHK. Feeling really horrible this morning but did not drink. I know I have to keep busy and care for myself. I have to be more patient and loving to myself. I am a caretaker of all family, and somehow I do not give me enough time. I want to stay sober so badly…
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I read that and it was like I wrote it… feeling you.
I’m now a month sober, longest time without a drink since I was about 16!
Good on you, wishing you luck, keep checking in and let us know how you are doing. Here if you ever want a chat 
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Thanks SoberStrugglez. I am such a great performer for everyone in my life yet I often feel like I lost myself along the way. When my Dad passed 13 years ago I promised him I would take care of my Mom and my older brother who has Ashberger’s. My Mom has dementia and she and my brother will be moving in with me next month. My brother is pretty self sufficient, so we built him an apartment in our daylight basement. Just feels good to vent and not feel guilty about doing so!
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Oh my god, Ariel. I did the same thing. I had an excel spreadsheet i created to track my nutrition and exercise, but it turned into a color-coded drink tracking chart. Point systems, bar charts, graphs. i was like an alcoholic rocket scientist!
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2 days in and keeping positive, im almost on the same boat, its been hard to admit.keep strong and positive, the help is there. Im checking in everyday, it helps,others on here are helping.
@BillS @Bootz
Hahaha. Yea, there is another guy in my home group who talks about complicated spreadsheets. I did different things, sometimes a spreadsheet, sometimes star stickers, sometimes worksheets. Its kind off hilarious to think about now - i feel so free to not have to do that anymore.
One doesn’t need to drink everyday to be an alcoholic. But if i wasnt drinking, i was thinking about drinking, giving myself gold stars for not drinking and planning and obsessing about when i could drink again, all whilst patting myself on the back and telling myself i wasn’t an alcoholic because i was able to go without a drink for a day or three. I even twice went 30 days for a “health cleanse”/“reset” but i ended up right back where i started - blacking out, throwing up, injuring myself and putting myself and others at risk.
My life is so much easier. Just don’t pick up the first drink. Just dont drink today. No sticker charts or formulas or lying to myself and others. 
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I like that- can relate to that a lot
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Binge drinker here too 
. Ive never had an issue with drinking every day, but whenever i do drink i dont have a single bit of control.
Weekends are the worst but i would frequently start my drinking from weds or thurs and keep going right on through till sunday night.
Ive tried a lot of the same things you have - no beer, no spirits during the week, no drinking on weeknights. None of it stuck. Its all or nothing for me and im glad im not in that place anymore! And glad to have you here!
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@aircircle Ahhhh yes. And the 30- and 90-day “cleanses” where i thought i could “reset” or “retrain” my body to become a moderate drinker. First of all, i never made it 30 or 90 days. Secondly, I might go one or two times drinking moderately, but within a week i was back to B&B (bingeing and blacking out). Life is sooooo much better now! Never going back, never looking back!
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Trust me, you are no different from the rest of us. I also drank way to much ALL THE TIME. I had no control. I remember drinking a half a bottle of Wild Turkey and then going to my Sisters for Thanksgiving. Where i continued to drink. I have also set boundaries and rules just to have broken them all without a flinch. My life without alcohol has given me more in the last two years, than i had over my years of drinking. Light and love your way my friend.
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Day 149.
I’ve been on here multiple
times per day since my day 1. And the last couple of days I kinda drifted due to being really busy. I can now say this for sure; there is an inverse correlation between my time spent here and the number of thoughts I have related to going back to drinking. TS is the anchor to my boat, and when the water is calm I can’t venture too far out. The seas gets stormy rather quickly.
Edit; meant to post this in the daily check in!
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Thank you everyone who has commented! You have all made me feel so welcome and it’s so reassuring to know i am not alone!
I made it through this weekend even when I was out at a beautiful cosy brewery with my family that had a fire pit. Usually I would have a few red wines and then more if I was offered (because I never stop at one when rounds are happening) but I stuck to two non-alcoholic beers that were actually not bad!
Although it took a bit to fight temptation, I am so glad I did and I actually had so much fun without alcohol!
I have a wedding this weekend that I am a bridesmaid at and the following I have my own engagement party so it will be testing but I feel like I am on the right track!
Thank you so much everyone💕
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You were ME. Thanks for sharing.
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This is exactly me and what’s worse is your doc will say “that’s nothing” we’ll that’s what she said when I went to see her in my early 20s, now 33 and still doing it. The thing about our weekly or fortnightly or sometimes twice weekly binges is we drink far more in such a short space of time which damages everything from friendships, relationships, mental health, kidneys, liver, heart, lungs, blood, anus, bowels, intestines, bladder, muscles and the immune system. It takes longer and longer to recover everytime. I have ended up with anxiety, ocd and panic attacks not to mention I say yes to drugs when I am in that environment. So putting one self in danger with complete strangers. I had my last drink last Thursday. It has to be other wise I can see myself dead in a few years. Not nice!
I feel you on this! I don’t drink everyday but every time I do drink I binge drink or blackout or am so sick the next day. Then comes the wave of anxiety and depression. I can’t seem to just have one drink or drink socially. It’s all or nothing. Thank you for sharing your story because it’s helpful knowing I’m not the only one going through this struggle and trying to figure this out. I haven’t had a drink in 9 days and feel like I’m ready to never drink again but then I find small things triggering me and wanting to say f it and get drunk. It is very helpful reading other people’s stories and accomplishments to keep me on track. We can all do this! 
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