Same. I only drink once or twice a month, and not even every month, and even at that rate it feels like too much. It used to be so much more when I was a teenager until about 23. I’m 31 now.
I’ve had a lot of clean time over the last 8 years, and I’m proud of that but I havent quit entirely and still, its ALWAYS the same thing.
No matter how many months or years I have between drinks, when I start I always binge. Every damn time.
So now im just trying to figure out how to not fall in to that cycle again, and how to tell that little voice to shut up when it chimes in.
You are not alone.
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