Hi everyone. I’m here because I really need to stop binge drinking once a week. It’s really hard, because for the first few days I’m super motivated, but when I hit that 7–10 day mark, it’s like all my resolve just disappears.
I need to break this vicious circle and find what can i do when my brain switch to “buy alcohol” mode. And often this “mode” is activated the day before.
Well, you pinned a few things going into your sobriety.
The when and the what, the feelings.
Very good.
How does the next day make you feel, after you drink?
The next day : a lot of regrets, feeling like a piece of shit who can’t keep resolutions for more than a week. Those feelings last for days, i swear to myself i will never do that again and when it fades, it starts all over again.
Ahh, i felt the same as well. I feel you on that.
What are your plans for sobriety in 7-10 days?
I’m not sure yet. That’s why I downloaded this app. I read the famous thread about the plan and I need to understand it a little better and adapt it to my particular case.
You are blessed in the way that your disease manifests itself. If you truly have that sober mind after 7-10 days …. You are far better off than me. I put alcohol in my system and there is no off switch. I will continue with zero regard to consequences. Don’t let that first DUI or divorce be the reason you “HAVE” to do it. You can let those YET’s happen to people such as myself.
Y.E.T. Is an acronym for “you’re eligible too”
I’m 55 with 3 oui’s …. I could have manslaughter on my record but I was lucky. 13 months sober. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Good Luck 
Well,
First and foremost, you’re honesty and oppeness will lead you far.
And, i would suggest going to AA meetings.
Yeah, its daunting at first, but the idea is, sit around people who’ve done it or are doing it.
A time to just listen, and sit.
Then of course just checking in here as many times a day as you need.
Slowly over time, you’ll go to things that matter a bit more. You’ll find a bit more joy and care in sobriety.
It takes time, all might seem tough or daunting at first.
But, over time, peace comes. That big let go.
Another question, and no you never have to feel like you need to answer it.
Its okay.
But, do you know why you drink?
I think the main reason is purely recreational. I used to smoke weed, and I think my alcohol consumption has replaced that for the psychoactive effect. I’m also anxious, and it allows me to forget and “relax,” but it’s a false sense of relaxation because I feel remorse as soon as I start drinking, and the anxiety is much worse the next day and the days that follow.
My brain is like “well i can treat myself after this long week” or “it’s ok to reward yourself, it’s been X days”.
You definitely realized a lot.
When I quit drinking 5 years ago, i remember just waking up with so much anxiety, anger and self hate.
And, one of things i was so scared of was ending up bitter, and I was only 27. Thinking about “well, ill be old and bitter if this doesn’t stop.” I drank many times a week though.
But, when i was 23 i was slightly in your spot. I remember trying to just drink three times or less a month, becaue i drank ao much for years. That lasted 2 months.
Then i drank almost everyday.
Anyways, there is way more calmness in sobriety. Not having that revolving door.
Ok, so next question.
What do you enjoy doing?
Or
What have you always wanted to do hobby wise?
Hiking, skateboarding, graphic design… maybe i need to reward myself with stuff i like and not beer.
I will keep this thread alive for a while. First step : Christmas.
I feel this! After so many failed attempts of quiting, I came to the conclusion that, if the hangover is my only motivation to quit drinking, then I’ll only be motivated when I’m hungover.
Eventually, I had to find something different to fight for, my health, my time left in this world, my family, myself.
Find your reason, remember it every day.
switch to “buy alcohol” mode.
Well, I used to tell myself, the simple solution would be to switch to “not buy” mode. But the trouble was never just at the corner Family Beer & Liquor (yes, a bit ironic.. like bring the kids! ha).
There was the craving in the body that acted like it had a mind of its own, the mind that behaved like it had no body at all, and that mysterious spiritual malady that seemed to whisper, “Come on, just one more time, and this time it will be waaaaaaay different.”
I have heard, the compulsion of the abnormal drinking is to think “one day, one day soon, perhaps right after I write this, I can drink successfully”
Now, I can already see you reading this (no I don’t have a crystal ball, but just like I did at first) … and? you’re not going to like my answer. But here goes anyway, straight from one soul who has been burned by the similar fire. (might even call it a certain type of hell, and not be entirely wrong neither)
I tried AA. yuppers. didn’t stick at first. and wouldn’t you know, it kinda worked. Didn’t take too long either. Every time I stumbled into that church basement, those rooms around the corner of the building, the door less opened, and I got the courage to open my mouth, I said, “I am new here”
The old timers would laugh and say, “Keep coming back.” At first I thought they were mocking me. Turns out, they were loving me, one snort & snicker, sometimes from the corner, at a time. I entered and picked the chair closest to the door for an easy escape! But I did keep coming back, somewhat to make sure those old folks did not get too lonely. But mostly it was a safe hour I knew I wouldn’t drink. Those folks? They seemed to care that I got better too. Funny thing though? somewhere between the laughter, the coffee, a book, a resentment and the world’s most uncomfortable chairs (and stale cookies) that I heard what spoke to me like no other, they spoke of the language of my crazy behaviour, and after a few meetings I heard my story itself, and then something inside me, just enough, for me to come back.
And that’s how it happened, one meeting, one smile, one divine nudge at a time. (let’s face it, my friends and family already were nudging… I was certain as you are writing, I had already convinced myself, something needed to change.)
And if I was lucky? Some of those meetings had expired donuts.
Now, I this isn’t the only way. I just hope you don’t continue to burn your hand on that hot stove, like I did. Do not put your face on it. Please, do not take it to bed. And, for heaven’s sake, don’t marry the darn thang!
Good luck.
My friend, this was SO me! I wasn’t chemically dependant (as in I never had physical withdrawal symptoms), but I would binge drink 2-5 times a week. And I would make all sorts of drinking rules and have all sorts of drinking resolutions and damn if I didn’t tell myself, “it’ll be different! I can do it in moderation!” EVERY TIME for 10 years.
You’ve gotten some great advice here. I’m not an AA person, but I know its great for a lot of people. For me, two things helped: first, gritting my teeth through sobriety sometimes 5 minutes at a time. Like, “I really want a drink, but I’m definitely not going to drink for the next 5 minutes”–and then try to busy myself with another activity that occupied my brain a little. Second, it’s checking in here. I thought I was the only schmuck on earth who felt this shame and regret and exhaustion–but I come on here and read experiences of people who have experiences just like mine. And a few times I’ve checked in to say I’m really tempted to drink –just writing it down in a public place made me think it through.
Anyway, we’re really glad you’re here and thinking about ways to help yourself! I’m pretty early in my sobriety, too…and cheesey as it sounds One Day at a Time (orrrr…5 minutes at a time!) really is a helpful mantra.
You can definitely do this!!
Binge deinker here. 136 days sober. Like you said it happens before you even pick up that first drink. Anticipate it, be ready for it, have other solid plans made. Flex the sober muscle. Free yourself for one weekend, acknowledge how fresh you feel on Monday morning then start thinking how the beast is going to come back again in a few days. What am I going to do to avoid all that mess and be fresh again next Monday.
Thank you all for your help and stories. I will keep those in mind. This weekend will be hard, i already feel it.
There are those times when you get bored and THINK buying a bottle or 12 pack will break the boredom. I actually had that happen today. You have to be strong, cold turkey is the only way. Do you really want to be a slave to alcohol???