Day 83 : No binge today. I’ve recovered from my cold and I feel great. 
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Thanks so much!
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Hey guys!
So lovely to see so much progress in people here! Congratulation to you all on your successes and hard work! 
I did some great job myself and something really big happened to me, so I thought I would share… 
Where to begin…?
As you perhaps remember if you know me, I used to suffer from bulimia for many years, which lately shifted to binge eating “only”. It was a good thing for me, I put up with it for a while because the main thing is that I am not purging anymore.
But of course, my goal isn’t to get healthy only in a half way becase I want to fully recover. I want any issues hidden behind my “bad” habbits to be sorted and left behind.
It was a real struggle to stop to binge eat and I found myself going forward and back. Similar like with alcohol. I’d always abandon few successfull days by binge eating again. And end up feeling powerless and sad. It would drive me insane and tired. I bet that we all know the feelings.
I’ve realised one very important thing some time ago and it is that I can sleep better if I don’t binge eat (esspecially in the evening). It makes sense now, but it never clicked with me before and I had a long period of restless nights, thinking it’s something still related to my past problems with alcohol.
What happened is that one day I have decided to use my willpower and not to eat after 8pm whatever it takes… First days were sooooo hard!! Man, I had cravings for food so much. My bad habit of eating with TV was really hard to overcome. But you know what, although it felt like for ages, it took “only” three days to stop thinking about food in every five minutes. And more days passed by easier it got and my thoughts about food eventually dissapeared, too. I promise, that it is so liberating! Like my brain can rest now 
Anyway. So I didn’t eat after 8pm but I still over ate sweets a lot. In the same time I also had a really bad problem with acid reflux and I knew it’s related to eating all the chocolate and sweet stuff. And so on February 2nd I’ve decided to cut sweets for a month. I felt like I don’t want to put myself into life-time restriction as it has never worked out for me and the month seemed reasonable.
And I did it! It was less hard than I thought it would be. All it took was finding food which I can replace all the chocolate with. After some time I found other food even more tasty than ever before. Especially tomatoes and red peppers started to have sweeter taste 
I decided to go back to sweet stuff two days ago. I bought my favourite stuff - yellow M&M’s (the big pack) and a big milk chocolate with whole hazelnuts. I opened the M&M’s on a Thursday evening. I was thinking about it for a whole day. I had huge expectations about the taste and the buzz I’ll probably get after I taste it on my tongue again! I waited until 7pm because I was afraid that if I open them sooner, I will binge eat them so fast that I’ll end up having nothing for my evening and that it will take my control away. I was worry that I could end up going to the shop and buying another pack or maybe two and eat all of it. That’s my eating disorder thinging here. Lovely to recognize it.
So I opened the pack at 7pm and I ate first M&M’s and…nothing special happened?! The taste was nice, but where was the extra satisfaction or the expected “boom” 
in my head? 
Does it mean I can eat them now like a normal person? I dunno. But the better question is, do I even want them anymore?
I ate the pack in two days. No binge on it and I actually ate it just to get rid of it (I can’t throw food to the bin from some reason, I hate waste 
). I even have a zero intention to buy it again. I can’t believe it!!! And the same happened with the chocolate yesterday. I forced myself to eat it so I don’t have to have it at home anymore. I don’t want to buy it again. This is like blowing my mind away. What happened???
I am impressed, although I still have a work to do. I need not to eat out of boredom or when I feel sad. The fact that I don’t feel the need to over eat chocolate now, doesn’t mean that my inner problems are sorted out. But I feel like I can concentrate on it much better now when the 
food and my addiction to it is out of the window. I was addicted to sugar, I am pretty sure. But now I have “only” the “eating away my feelings” problem and it’s easier to deal with it without being addicted to a certain type of food in the same time
I am definitelly keeping the rule of not eating after 8pm because it has changed my life and also my sleep is better. It’s good for my health. Although I don’t like putting up rules regarding to eating (because I know that I shouldn’t restric myself), this one is great to keep at place. I have no problem to stick to it either…
I hope you don’t mind me sharing this loooong story and maybe somebody can find something in it.
I wish you all great luck on the journey 
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I don’t mind you or anyone else sharing stories at all. And you’ve come so far and are doing so well! Keep up the good work!
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Day 84 : No binge today.
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Day 85 : No binge today.
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I know that. It’s so strange, like booze was for me thinking about that, I didn’t like the taste even. It was like an automated movement, not tasting it. And when I do I would have to acknowledge that it tastes not good. But then I am in the middle of eating and what the hell. 
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It’s a constant battle for me at least. Well, battle is maybe the wrong word. Mindfulness is the key for me. And when swallowing like a maniac that is for sure not mindful. 
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Day 86 : No binge today.
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This is awesome Aleyadaisy ! Not only are you 86 days in … but you’ve inspired others while doing so. Really cool !!
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Thanks Laraellelarissa!
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Day 87 : No binge today.
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In 5 hours I will be 1 week. I can’t believe it. It hasn’t even been hard, I’ve had a complete mindset shift and I started to hear the addict voice, as I did when I stopped using substances, and now I can talk back to the addict voice and tell it no. Just doing this a few times in the first few days seems to have made it go silent, almost as though it knows it’s me that has the power because I’ve won the battle this way previously with my other addictions. It blows my mind how radical recovery can be once I take my power back 
Thank you for this thread, and congrats on everyone’s successes and efforts so far. 
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You’re welcome, glad this thread is so helpful for you!
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Day 60, still on the path. Thank you to everyone who has shared. I can relate to so much of what has been said. The expectation of getting to eat chocolate/ sugar if I’ve been restricting myself, then the disappointment of it not causing the euphoria I was hoping for. Totally real. Also the talking to the cravings. I do that too. I usually say something like, “OK, I see you. I acknowledge your existence. But I’m stronger than you are.” And I just keep saying those kind of things until it passes. It’s powerful. Have a great day, everyone! You’re all awesome!
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Congrats on 2 months Lulu! You’re doing awesome! Keep up the good work! 
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Day 88 : No binge today.
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Hi Jenna, you just gave me a thought in which I can dive into. Can we separate recovery into different sections? Are we on our path of recovery and begin to have a closer look in all the corners in the cellar where there is so much dust and secrets hidden? Thanks for sharing and also all the others and @CapriciousCapricorn Stella
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I feel the same but I also feel the longer I am sober from booze, so mind altering substances, I get the energy to adress the other issues in life and maybe with time and work it falls slowly into places and I cannot neglect it anymore. 
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I also had a look. I also feel like because I am not purging I am not “bad enough”. I also don’t want to muddy the waters by doing two things at the same time, so will concentrate on finishing my aa steps but I certainly may look into joining some group meetings now, and in the future may do the steps again, this time with eating disorders anonymous sometime in the future.
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