@Alisa @Aleyadaisey @Dazercat
Thank you for the kind words. I honestly do not know what could help. Problems eating pre-date drinking, and as I do not abuse laxatives and diet pills like I did in my 20s, and because I can still take care of my kids, etc, I tend to think of it less seriously. Maybe time to get some books, join some groups and apply myself the same way as drinking.
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It has helped me to log my calories⌠in general it keeps me somewhat inline⌠except when I start overdoing like last few days. I use noom. I did the first two weeks free and then continued as a free subscriber still able to log the calories. Their tutorials are helpful and there is a chat a week or so in. I tried switching to my fitness pal or fitbits calorie counter last week but one try logging was too frustrating. At least I have nooms figured out where its quick.
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Hi Alisa.
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you 
Iâm currently enjoying holiday in beautiful Cornwall and I donât really have time to over eat so itâs good. I eat more than I would at home - especially dinnersâŚthatâs for sure, but then Iâm also running and so I donât feel bad about it. And I know that once I am back at home everything will get back to routine. Holiday are always bit different for me regarding to foodâŚ
I read your reply about counting calories - that itâs something whatâs working for you. See, itâs not my target to find a way how to keep a track on my food and by using willpower not to over eat. I donât want to go through this proccess every day.
What I want (and need) is freedom in my mind. Not to have to think about food but make a healthy life style a habit. I donât want have to be counting calories or limiting myself in what type of food I âcanâ eat,etc.
I want to understand why I over eat and sort the stuff out so I can breathe and enjoy my food without feeling guilty or âfatâ afterwards.
I know there is a way because I was able to do it with alcohol. But it takes a lot of honesty and digging deep into my feelings to find out my hidden emotions which I am trying to hide underneath a lot of food.
I already know that Iâm often bored and that I feel lonely in this country where I have no family with me. Covid doesnât really help as I am currently unable to visit them. But this eating disorder lasts longer than for a couple of years so there must be something else about the way how I see myself and my body. It will be something from my past. I already touched it once but then I keep forgetting about the true reasons because the urge to eat can be very strong and sometimes it overtake my brain and donât let me think clearly.
So far there are two things I believe I must do:
- Change the habbit of eating late at night (replace it by something else)
- Find out reply (replies) on my question âWHY am I doing itâ and sort it out.
Iâll do my best and Iâm not giving up until I find peace 
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Have fun on your holiday! Wishing you the peace and freedom in your mind you are looking for. You will find it I just know. Youâve got a good bit of your healthy life style figured out with your running! Let me know if something clicks about your evenings! Have fun and hope you see your family sooner than later.
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Thank you, Alisa 
I hope youâre going to get your freedom too. We all deserve it 
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Day 3
At one point I knew the calories in almost all foods, but now I want to get away from numbers. I know roughly, and can use common sense as a general guide. I went for a run and did a yoga video today.
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Day 205 : No binge today. 
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Damn, back to day 1 for me⌠I made it to 85 days, I just donât know what happened. Iâm just crying on my couch and sharing here because I have no one to talk to⌠Iâm so ashamed of myself 
Iâm not giving up now, I want to get at least the 90 day milestone this time. But for now with that and after receving my 2nd dose of vaccine this morning, I really feel like total shit, mentally and physicallyâŚ
Ps : thanks again for sharing your progress, it is really giving me hope I can beat this too 
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85 Days is Amazing ! Donât be too hard on yourself. You have much to be proud of. Be as kind and gentle with yourself as you would be with us if we were in a similar situation. Youâve got this ! Honor all that youâve done 
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Day 206 : No binge today.
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Day 207 : No binge today.
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6 days binge free. It is not being reflected in my weight, but trying to stay positive.
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I had a serious eating disorder for much of my messed up childhood, but on the opposite end of the spectrum⌠Weâre in the same boat in the end though I guess - theyâre just escapes from deeper problems we often donât even realize - but now we do people 
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Day 208 : No binge today.
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@Sarrazma how are you doing? Did you get your eating back under control. Hugs for you. Hate that you were crying on your couch. Hope youâre feeling better and back on the binge free road.
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Youâre too kind for asking. Yes I went back on track, day 2 today. The good news was that the binge was less intense and shorter than the binges I had in the past. What hit me was the fact I had to start over again and the failure feeling. Iâve always had difficulty dealing with failure on general in my life. I have to work on that, failures are part of life and we have to learn from them to be better.
Thanks again for looking out for me, Iâm now feeling less alone in all that 
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Day 209 : No binge today.
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One week no binge.
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Day 210 : No binge today. 7 months! 
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