I’m so happy for you! I went this this many years ago! It’s so wonderful to finally have a good relationship with food isn’t it? It sounds like you’ve made huge progress and I can’t tell you how excited I am for you. It’s a horrible vicious cycle that restricting and binging. Keep up the good work and keep trusting and loving your body 
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Day 460 : No binge today. 
Day 27 : No coffee today.
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Day 461 : No binge today.
Day 28 : No coffee today.
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Day 462 : No binge today.
Day 29 : No coffee today.
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Jana thanks so much for this truly fucking wonderful update! Absolutely can relate and had a similar experience over the years. I always restricted in some form or another, I also obsessively counted calories a few years back. And nowadays gradually have become able to eat pretty much anything when I’m mentally stable. The other day I even ate a burger. Must have been the first since my childhood!
I’m so very very happy for you! Thanks for sharing!!
PS: I also don’t use scales, haven’t over 15years and believe that would be super unhealthy for me. Whenever I have to weigh myself at the doctor’s I still resent it.
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Aha ha, thanks @Faugxh. I had a burger recently, too. Also after perhaps 100 years 
And I had it for dinner!! This could not have happened before. I didn’t eat even pasta for my dinner because it is carbs Now I eat whatever I want and it’s super freedoming. Yesterday I had pasta with cheese sauce for dinner. Then an apple and then yoghurt. I didn’t feel any bad at all 
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Fantastic. I’m speechless! Woooowwwwww!! 
I also didn’t eat pasta in like 15 years. I’m eating pasta right now. 
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Day 463: No binge today.
Day 30 : No coffee today.
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Day 464 : No binge today.
Day 31 : No coffee today.
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Day 465 : No binge today.
Day 32 : No coffee today.
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That sounds delicious! I am glad you’re making peace with food, that’s amazing, keep it up!
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Day 466 : No binge today.
Day 33 : No coffee today.
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Day 467 : No binge today.
Day 34 : No coffee today.
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Day 468 : No binge today.
Day 35 : No coffee today.
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Day 469 : No binge today.
Day 36 : No coffee today.
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It’s amazing how much the ‘binge’ part of eating is mostly in your head… I had gastric sleeve surgery at 270lbs in Dec which drastically reduced the size of my stomach…
But now (at 220 lbs) I still crave massive portions of things. Or if not, crave way more than I can possibly eat with my little stomach.
I’m thinking I gotta get this under control before I start to regain the weight or something. I wonder if Overeaters Anonymous would help me the way NA has for my drug addiction.
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OA helped me a lot. They now have hazeldon books if you can’t find a meeting in your area. I know I had a hard time finding them a few years back. It’s worth the try.
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Overeaters anonymous is very similar to Alcoholics anonymous and similar groups, but replace drinking with overeating. So if you would like to try it out, they have online meetings over zoom. 
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Day 470 : No binge today.
Day 37 : No coffee today.
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Day 471 : No binge today.
Day 38 : No coffee today.
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