Binge eating recovery daily check in thread (Part 2)

Day 1406 : No binge today. :blush:

Welcome to the thread, @adnawot! I hope you find this thread helpful/inspiring in a positive way. :blush:

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332 sugar
196 UPF
70 gluten
70 dairy
6 distraction-free eating

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@adnawot welcome to the thread :blush:
@acromouse congrats on 70 days no gluten or dairy :tada:

101 days no takeaways.
97 days no ice cream.
25 days no crisps, no binge-eating
2 days no sugar.

Missed checking-in yesterday, itā€™s good to be back in triple digits for no takeaways.

Trying not to feel bad or ashamed about the food Iā€™ve been eating from the shop. I really want to stop going there completely. Itā€™s starting to feel like Iā€™m going there against my will.

šŸ©µ

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First night of no binge eating before bed.

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Day 1407 : No binge today. :blush:

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333 sugar
197 UPF
71 gluten
71 dairy
7 distraction-free eating

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@acromouse congrats on your week of distraction free eating :tada:

102 days no takeaways.
98 days no ice cream.
26 days no crisps, no binge-eating
0 days no sugar.

I bought and ate rice pudding yesterday, and I didnā€™t even consider that this was something sugary. Resetting so my rational brain pays more attention.

šŸ©µ

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@acromouse

Friends, although gratefully I donā€™t suffer any eating disorders since a member here I follow your postings daily. I would never give advice where I have no experience. @CATMANCAM I am thrilled to see the numbers add up with no crisps. Being mindful I am sure is a great resource to succeed. @acromouse your experience and methods are eye opening for sure. Again thank you for your honesty in sharing your struggles. I am cheering for you all.

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Day 1408 : No binge today. :blush:

Congratulations on your distraction free eating week, @acromouse! Keep it up! :tada::blush:

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@adnawot Welcome to the thread :wave: Good to have you sharing your journey with us.
@tailee17 Thanks for your support. Itā€™s always good to know, we are not alone in our struggles :smiling_face:
@CATMANCAM Did not get to congratulate you on your 100 days of no takeaways and almost 100 on ice cream. Very nice to see your path.

334 sugar
198 UPF
72 gluten
72 dairy
8 distraction-free eating

My main ā€˜reasonā€™ to read, watch the telly, or scroll on my phone during meals was ā€˜boredomā€™. Eating withouth distractions was boring.

Iā€™ve been reading ā€˜Never binge againā€™ by Glenn Livingston - the guy from the ā€˜Defeat your cravingsā€™ podcast @Jana1988 mentioned earlier here.

He uses the concept of a Monster/Pig/Animal/etc. - that voice in us that wants nothing else but to make us binge. This is a very similar concept to what is used in other recovery material called the addiction/monster/etc. Basically it is about being able to differentiate between the parts of our minds that are invested in our well being and those only invested in their addictions being fed.

After a few days of distraction free eating I realised that the reasoning to distract myself was coming from the Pig part and not from me. Meals do not have to be interesting. Who said that? Itā€™s a ridiculous assumption. When life is not entertaining enough distract yourself? What kind of silly and childish notion is that?! Sometimes meals are great, sometimes they are just food. This goes with everything in life.

So I did, what the book suggests: I put ā€˜distraction-free eating: no reading or watching, no devicesā€™ on my list and the Pig can squirm for however long it wants to. Discussion is over.

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A pig is such a lovely care free, emotional, cute and intelligent creature. I would never use a pig to characterize my addiction or difficulties, but we are not the same. Iā€™m assuming you have internalized messaging around pigs that would be interesting to also unravel if youā€™re interested in that voiceā€¦

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I love pigs. I spent a lot of time on my grandparentā€™s and then my uncleā€™s farm with all kinds of animals.
I also know how much damage and trouble they can cause, if you donā€™t put boundaries to their shenanigans.
I could have also chosen a goat. They will eat everything - and I mean everthing including your underwear hanging out to dry - if you donā€™t corral them properly.
My addiction will not go away, it will always stay with me. It will always want that dopamine shot caused by bingeing certain foods. I can let it reign free and cause all kinds of damage, because it does not care for my well being, only for its own version of ā€˜funā€™. Or I can corral it properly, maintain the fence regularly, and keep an eye for early signs of trouble.

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@tailee17 @acromouse thank you both :blush:

103 days no takeaways.
99 days no ice cream.
27 days no crisps, no binge-eating
1 day no sugar.

Therapy was rough today. We did a timeline of all my traumas. I didnā€™t even mention all of the ones that have a lesser impact on me these days, there wouldnā€™t have been time. Itā€™s somewhat easy to clinically state the facts, but going back through my life and having a second therapist state that there has never been anyone in my life that loved or cared about me, it hits pretty hard. She said sheā€™s surprised I made it through and that there must be a huge amount of strength in me. I donā€™t feel strong. I owe my life to my cats, they keep me alive everyday.

The positive is that I donā€™t have the urge to binge. I just want to catch-up here and meditate.

šŸ©µ

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All good stuff! :blush:

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Eating has not been so good lately. Not sure why. It has a self-destructive kind of feel to it. I enjoy hating myself for being back here and being stupid and pathetic. I think it is because if I am doing well then it makes me realize there are other areas of my life I need to tackle, and I am scared to do that. It is easier to retreat into old coping mechanisms and act like these are the bigger problem so I can ignore the things I need to work on.

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Day 1409 : No binge today. :blush:

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104 days no takeaways.
100 days no ice cream.
28 days no crisps, no binge-eating
2 days no sugar.

The feelings caught-up with me a bit and I felt depressed last night. Had a slight urge to binge, but it was easy enough to ignore. Fell asleep fairly early and woke up after the shops had closed. Then I spent the next hour debating with myself over whether to order or drive to get a particular takeaway, because I heard they are currently doing an item that hasnā€™t been available since 2015, but only for a limited time. I came to my senses though, so all is well.

šŸ©µ

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@CATMANCAM I really like it that your mind does not go imediately as a default to food or any other binge. This is real progress!
And donā€™t forget: Sugar withdrawl is going to bring depresson and anxiety. It always does for me, and as far as I remember this has been the case for you.
@Misokatsu Sounds like you are onto something. Addiction and self-destrucive behaviour are ā€˜greatā€™ ways to cover up our inner voices crying out for help. Sending you love, hugs and self compassion. We all do that from time to time in one way or another :people_hugging:

11 months sugar
199 UPF
73 gluten
73 dairy
9 distraction-free eating

Today marks eleven months sugar freedom and with that the start of my recovery journey. I would have never made it without all of you here. Thank you so much for being here :heart:

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Congrats on 11 months of freedom from sugar, amazing :clap:t2: :tada:

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Day 1410 : No binge today. :blush:

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