@Aleyadaisey What kind of dancing did you do?
@CATMANCAM I‘m sorry you are experiencing anxiety. I find this often difficult and then food/eating comes as a distraction to mind. Good job on choosing a better option. I hope your meal replacements will make your situation easier.
199 sugar
63 UPF
70 gluten
49 dairy
11 overeating
My hormonal upheavals are currently so bad, I can‘t even say if I am overeating. I know I am eating more then usually as I experience far more hunger.
@Aleyadaisey your prayers had to be heard because I am feeling much better today! Yesterday, I slept through the day and barely moved, today I am all okay, just left with annoying cough which disturbs everyobody in the house 
Today marks 5 days without binging. Yesterday was fairly easy. I had only little bit of food in the evening otherwise I didn’t feel like eating at all. I’d think that I may be hungry today, lets see. So far I’m fine with coffee…
I am useless at sitting at home, especially today we have a nice sunny day, so I aim to go for a walk today and hope that it will be fine. Tomorrow a big ride was planned but I don’t think it would be wise to go. It’s hard because now when I feel better I am super tempted
I am going through some unpleasant emotions, too. I don’t know how to deal with them. It’s mainly disgust and a bit contempt. I don’t want to feel it. Any advice how to get rid of these? I know I probably must find the ability to change my point of view on the situation but it’s quite hard for me.
Let me share…
So I was ill because my boyfriend was ill. He is now feeling much better, but he still doesn’t look 100% in the morning. Yesterday we were expecting visitors in the house (my bf’s brother with his gf). They were coming around 8pm and sleeping over which means carrying out a matrace out of the garage through the garden to the house for them. Normally my bf with his mum does it because there are spider webs everywhere in the garage and so I don’t go in there.
However yesterday my bf forgot about the matrace and left the house for some time out with friends and wasn’t coming back any soon. His mother got angry that he didn’t carry the matrace out of the garage and I said that his brother can do it as well. His brother is an adult, big and a strong guy, believe me, he could easily do it. But no, their stubborn mother just went and carried it out herself. When I saw her out of the window, I absolutely didn’t understand why she’s doing it. Not only that it was so stupid but she was also destroying the matrace by dragging it on the stones she’s got in the garden. That pisses me off because the matrace is mine and my bf’s when we buy a house.
Her reasoning then was that she didn’t want her other son carrying it after working the whole day and then travelling here. He works from home with PC (nothing physically demanding) and he doesn’t drive, so all the travelling was just sitting in the car for 2.5hours 
Instead, she’d rather my bf who also worked the whole day and is after illness wanted to do that. And that way of her thinking makes me unbelievable angry, because I just don’t get it. They’re both her children but she’s always over protective only of the younger one. It’s disgusting in my head and I don’t know how to change this thinking.
Any opinions? You can be honest. Maybe I am wrong to think like this? I really don’t know. I honestly wish I wouldn’t give a 
but as I love my bf a lot and it is a behaviour against him (at least in my mind) I am finding really hard to be emotionally detouched.
Hey there,
I hear you. My brother in law has some very exhausting behaviours but my parents in law always treat him like a poor baby and even enable this. I have been dealing with this for almost 30 years now. I can‘t imagine living with them. I would go up in a cloud of smoke from my anger every fucking day.
I‘ve seen this kind of dynamic over and over with other people too. Sometimes it‘s very toxic to everyone involved and everyone around. So please come here and vent. Your feelings are totally valid.
But from my experience you can‘t get rid of your feelings or your thoughts. What you can do is try and find ways to deal with them. The first step might be getting out for a walk, or somehow out of the immediate situation. Clear your head. Next might be learning some mindfulness tools to help you observe your feelings, your reactions, your own thoughts. This practice has helped me tremendously. Another thing is to separate what is your side of the street so to speak. You cannot change how your mother in law or anyone else for that matter thinks or behaves. You don‘t even have to understand why people do something. Take care of your part. Find out where you might want to set some boundaries. But also understand that you will always - no matter where you are in your life - experience uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. If it‘s not your mother in law it will be something else.
If you should be interested: I started this free 40day Mindfulness Daily course with Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach. It‘s about 10min per session. I really enjoy it.
@acromouse Thank you very much for your insight! It helped a lot 
After I vented here I also wrote my diary which sometimes gives me clarity about some stuff. And I was thinking that what I’m trying to do is basically to gain control over the situation even though I can’t… So that is basically what you said, too.
I was thinking that I must probably leave this for people involved to sort this out betweem thelselves and if my bf doesn’t mind to be treated this way, that’s something I must accept as he’s an adult and should speak for himself.
You’re right. I am kinda living in between lives now, just waiting for to move out and it’s like if my life now is on pause. All is planned for ‘WHEN’. It feels like the only way to deal with my current situation but in reality it only brings me stress for last about 4-5 long years. Me and my bf agreed to go to rental if we don’t find a house this summer. My hope is to be gone for winter, because I don’t want to be here anymore for a very long time. My bf’s mum is a negative person who constantly complains about everything and it’s exhausting and I try to avoid her as much as I can, but it puts lots of stress on me as you maybe can imagine…
I don’t want to cry hear hahaha. I am surviving this and I don’t feel sorry for myself. Just exhausted.
Will 100% have a look at that mindfulness course. Thank you for it:heart:
Hugs and love friend. Toxic living conditions suck all live and energy out of you. I totally get it. And your ‘special person’ 
sounds like a hand full. Constant negativity, not respecting other’s needs and boundaries. That must feel like having to be on guard all the time which does not lessen the stress we deal with on a normal day 
Just freestyle dancing and having fun with it. 
Day 1274 : No binge today.
200 sugar
64 UPF
71 gluten
50 dairy
12 overeating
Was at a game night with friends last night. The table was full of all kinds of sweet snacks. It was a fascinating experience. There was a part of my brain signalling that this is something to pay attention to, something worth being considered all through the evening. It was always just a small but clearly perceivable impulse. Immediately following would be a different impulse to ignore the stuff as it is of no further import whatsoever.
I was not tempted once. I just registered the signals and went on with my life. A few times I moved the packages out of the way as I couldn‘t see parts of the game. This is freedom. Very different to the endless cravings or lack of impulse control of earlier. I‘m very happy to have 200 days today
Congratulations on your 200 days! So impressive 
I can only imagine how great it felt when you didn’t have the need to have sweets and when it didn’t over take all your brain space 
I am happy for you, @acromouse You are doing really well
Wow Aga, 200 days! This is huge. I’m super happy for you and extremely impressed, I never came close to even 20 (I think 12 was my max).
You know what? I’m gonna celebrate your 200 with 20 days no-extra-added sugar challenge! Starts today.
It’s so difficult for me to limit that poison. And it’s always all or nothing, so when I eat, I EAT. Getting worse and worse. Some time ago my belly wasn’t so visible finally and now I look 5 months pregnant again 
My skin looks bad, I’m getting tired quicky, I’m irritable. You all know those symptoms.
I can’t find the good way (that fits me) to quit sugar so maybe if I’m gonna close it in the frame of time… Who knows. I’m ready to try.
So here I am, taking 20 days no-extra-added sugar challenge! Anybody else with me?
I know 100% what you mean.
However…
When you say it like this, you’re making it even more true.
My bf used to be addicted to smoking and then he quit from day to day. And after some time when he didn’t smoke he told me, that he tried few times before but without success. What was different this time was the way he talked to himself, the way he thought and the things he believed in. He basically said to himself that he is a non-smoker and believed it.
So if you make a statement as above, you are putting more foundation to that reality and you’re making yourself believe it and act like that every time when the situation comes.
What if you’d allow yourself to have a doubt and to believe that it’s possible not to binge on sweets but have only few. Don’t mark yourself like ‘I’m the one who eats either nothing or everything’. I think it could help you if you change the way you think about yourself and if you start believing that you do have the power over the sweets and sugar 
You need to create a new reality. We are what we believe we are. And more we believe, more we repeat to ourselves certain statements - more it becomes true.
You are right. I will definitely try it. All or nothing with sugar is not working for me for the long period of time (one more time Aga, respect 
) thats why I just wanna try 20 days. Make a detox from sugar. For body and mind. First I wanted to plan 30 days but it sounds way to long 20 sounds more doable.
Wohooo… 6 days no binge!!! The illness definitely helps 
I went through some proper time since Friday when I got ill. Like if that wasn’t enough, my bf’s brother and his gf came around and are still here until the evening. With all honesty I can’t wait until they leave, because (as always) they act totally recless all the time and didn’t consider me and that I’m not well at all. Like yesterday I needed a rest, I was laying in bed with fever and they had that need to slam every door and then go to the bathroom next to my room together and chat and laugh there loud. I had to wait about an hour until they finally closed themselves in their room.
I never really understand this. As @acromouse mentioned, maybe I don’t need to understand everything… I am sometimes not sure if they really don’t get it that they’re so loud and making for someone impossible to sleep, or if they do it on purpose… I guess I was just raised differently.
This behaviour is always reason why I’m stressed and anxious any time when they’re coming to visit. I really need my own place. I feel that it’s ridiculous that I’m turning 36 next month and still live like this!!! Why am I doing this to myself???
Do 20 and if you feel like it - prolong it 
@Aleyadaisey thank you 8K steps is some serious dancing! How long were you going for?
@acromouse thank you, yes anxiety definitely doesn’t help this situation. As for your post about being hungrier than usual, I’d like to echo your words back to you; that’s it’s a good time to eat if you’re hungry. Major congrats on 200 days no sugar! 
and 70+ no gluten
@Jana1988 I’m sorry about your loud visitors and your mother in law dragging your mattress across stones in her stubbornness, these inconsiderations would make me angered too. I hope you feel better after they’ve left, and I hope you find a property you like over the summer so you can have your own peaceful home 
@Mischa84 good luck with your 20 day no sugar challenge
20 days no crisps, no takeaways.
3 days no binge-eating.
0 days no sugar.
Checking-in with yesterday’s numbers…
I ate some ice cream. I have some left so I’ll end up resetting for sugar again when I eat the rest. Trying to recognise the progress of not bingeing it all, but I still feel ashamed that I’ve eaten any. I regret ordering it.
🩵
My diet is mostly healthy with a daily ice-cream bar that I allow myself. Sometimes/often I am tempted to have too many carbs for breakfast. My main issue is I am pre-diabetic and I am supposed to exercise daily for 30 minutes. It is barely ever happening. I’ve checked in on this thread before, some of you may remember. So I am starting to deal with this in therapy. We had a good session on Friday and I am meeting with her again in 2 weeks. There is some need that is being met by having downtime watching mostly the news on TV instead of exercising even though I know I should exercise. It seems similar to me to binging even though we know we should not, or drinking. I am definitely trying to calm and comfort myself with all the down time. Just checking in for some accountability. I’ll check back in if I go for a 30 minute walk today. It’s definitely about my health and I need to.
I just remember when I had to quit drinking and my own health wasn’t enough to make me stop. Crazy. I could only quit when I had a community and meetings, etc. I don’t know how to get something like that, similar to AA, for exercise.
Oh, and an update. The Metformin did nothing for my weight. I am exactly the same as before I started taking it 8 or 9 months ago. Hopefully it is helping to fend off diabetes, but I was really hoping for the weight loss others experienced.
Checking back in - I went for my walk.
Hi @Kareness
Welcome in this thread. Good news is that if you start your daily 30mins exercising you will very likely loose some weight too. To my understanding it’s something you’d like to, right?
I am an athlete and I love sport. So I won’t be able to rely to your struggle. The only time I hated exercising was at High School, because I’m not into collective sports much. I like to rely on myself in performance (and in life generally).
My advice would be to try different types of exercise and find what you actually like. If you force yourself, then you’ll always struggle and often you’ll find distractions and reasons not to do it.
If you feel like you would be better in a group of people, maybe you could join some class - yoga, Zumba, HIIT - for begginers. Here where I live the local running club does Coach to 5km and that is really great! Lots of people join every year, all age and weight, and it’s very motivating to have other people doing it and keeps you accountable.
Some exercise, like stretching or weights you can do in front of telly. For example I don’t really enjoy weights and ABS training, so that’s what I do. I play my Netflix and do it in meantime, because I want to have it done.
Last, but maybe the most important advice - make it habit by doing it always at a same time of the day for at least first few months. Yoi can be more flexible later, but if you teach your body that it’s time to exercise, it will get used to it. If you have a day when you’re really put of, ignore the feeling and take just your shoes on. Then go and do walk only around your house/streer/block and if you still feel like not doing it, then stop. But I can almost guarantee you that once you’re out, you’ll probably just do it.
Maybe listen to some podcast when walking. Go to some nice park or woods, wherever nature can recharge you.
I trully hope you’ll find your passion in movement. I also sometimes don’t want to do my run, but I learnt to go regarldess and there was no one time when I regreted it. The endorphins released after are always super pleasant. Plus you’ll get it from the feeling of accomplishment too.
Let me know if you have any questions. Happy to help