Itās starting to get better and easier. When I now sit in front of the telly I donāt crave food anymore because I kinda know that itās not an option. (Also as I am ill, I binge watch Netflix, so it would be impossible to eat that much ).
Being off work helps me to have a routine in my eating and so I have now nice consistency in when I eat. Helps a lot too.
I remember these are my tools from my theraphy too - the consistency and timing of when to eat, just to teach my body about how it feels to be hungry again. When the time is coming when I usually have food I start to be a bit hungry, besides before I never was hungry, I just ate for sake to eat any time. The hunger was replaced by cravings Iād say.
Itās strange that this is the time when I am getting better. I feared that if I was ill and without all my activities and life distractions, that Iād be bored and eat and eat all day long. Instead, I do better I donāt fear anymore gaining weight if I donāt exercise like a crazy in every single day because I naturally eat less. This teaches me that when I go back to my active life it will be very different now. Iām going to drop exercises I didnāt enjoy at all and replace them with ones I think I could gain interest at. One new one for me will be yoga Iād really like to get into it, because it seems to give everything - it exercises mind, breathing, flexibility and strength.
I feel more freedom when Iām not scared of food and of relaxing my body Itās such a nice feeling not to be scaredā¦
Jana friend, these are really exciting and very good news. Like they say: You never know what something like an illness or other inconvenience may be good for in your life. Maybe it tought you how it feels to take care of yourself, how to relax.
I really am happy to hear how your attitude towards food, eating, and your whole body has changed.
I can highly recommend yoga. I have it as a daily practice. It does so much for me.
Thank you @acromouse
I also started the 40 days mindfulness you recommended me and I like it lots! But had to stop yesterday because of my coughā¦itās really hard to breath and I decided Iāll enjoy it much more when I am not coughing (hopefully there will be such a day again )
Youāve had fever the whole time? Iām sorry youāve been sick so long even if it has helped you eating wise.
Are you taking acetaminophen ( paracetamol) to get your fever down?
Hopefully youāre drinking enough fluids and are not dehydrated which could elevate your pulse and make you feel dizzy when you get up.
My first thought would be covid. The antibiotics would not have helped.
Fever, coughing and elevated pulse ten days into it ( whatever IT is ) warrants care.
I hope youāll soon start feeling better.
Big hugs. Get well soon. Your ideas you have sound like it will be a nice balance for you.
Editing. I see you say itās really hard to breathe. Really hard to breathe warrants care. If youāre really having a hard time breathing, then you need to get it checked out.
Hello @Alisa
Thank you very much for your care
I have got fever for a week exactly. From Thursday a week ago to Thursday this week. First the GP gave me antibiotics which didnāt work and this Thursday I went to doctors again because of the fever and feeling really dizzy and not well and finally got antibiotics which work. I also take paracetamol. But the second antibiotics were like a miracle and the fever was gone almost instantlyā¦
However I also have outrageous cough for almost a week now. I basically canāt stop coughing. I refused to have Skype with my poor dad today because it would be just coughing. I couldnāt speak, nor hear what he says. I take different cough syrups but they give relief for only few minutes Somehow I manage to sleep a bit at night but the cough will wake me up multiple times at night. Itās the most annoying thing Iāve ever had
Edit:
My breathing is okay, I can breathing but if I try to take a deep breath I irritate whatever itās in my throat what causes me to caugh. I guess itās the mucus.
Good!, so youāre saying that this past Thursday you got new antibiotics and theyāre making a big difference but you still mainly have a bad cough.
Sounds like youāre on the road to recovery from whatever you had.
Stay as hydrated as you can, that will help the secretions in your lungs thin out.
Sucking on hard candies could soothe your throat some.
I donāt know what you can get over the counter over there. Over here Robitussin DM liquid is very helpful for coughs. Taken as directed on the bottle.
āRobitussin DM contains two active ingredients: dextromethorphan and guaifenesin. Dextromethorphan is an antitussive drug used to help relieve constant coughing. It helps stop your cough by decreasing activity in your brain that triggers your impulse to cough.ā
I am very anti combination cold and cough type medicines.
Iām very anti Robitussin CF.
Iām conservative on these things.
I just remembered that this is an alcohol site.
I think there is some controversy about alcohol in the Robitussin,
I donāt know thatās something youāll have to look into if it is even available.
Yes, I have this Robitussin. Itās really good one. I didnāt use it much now because I thought I should maybe cough it out.
It has alcohol but I donāt mind in medicine. Iām not looking for getting drunk from it
I very much appreciate your help and explaining all these things. I will see how I get on over the weekend and in the worse case I may pop at pharmacy on Monday to ask for help.
Apparently I had chest infection and the cough may last up to 3-6 weeks!! I hope it doesnāt mean that it would be this much coughing over the time period
Wow, congrats on 12 days, @Jana1988! Keep up the good work! Youāre making some good progress from what I can tell as well! As for your cough/sickness, there are lots of things you can take, including natural. I drink hot chamomile tea with honey because the steam helps break up the mucus, and the honey eases the coughing a bit.
You can also try ricola cough drops, my mom and I enjoy the taste a lot more than the regular cough drops. And they work quite well for us when weāre sick. If itās so bad I canāt function I take Mucinex pills. I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you @Aleyadaisey
For congratulations and for advice! Itās true that the cough drives me nuts and Iām sometimes loosing my mind. I coughed so much today that I almost threw up
Everyday I am hoping it will get better, but nope, still the same insane continuous cough So tiring!
I am told I must wait until it goes. My mum-in-law had it last year and she did something to her ribs how much she cough, so I guess Iām so far ok
Today I have 13 days no binge and Iām really proud of this one, becauseā¦
Yesterday me and my bf went to pharmacy for some cough medicine and there was a market at our village centre. They were selling all different things all around the place and my bf got me a huge bag of nuts covered in something sweet. No idea what it is, but it is delicious!
When we came back home he switched on telly and put the sweets in front of me and I knew that if Iām just going to give in at that moment I end up binging on it. So I told him, that Iām looking forward having some but that first I need to have a normal dinner. So he prepared me my meal, I had that and then I took a small bowl and separated some nuts in there. Normally weād eat the nuts straight from the bag but I wanted to make a portion to have a better idea about how much I ate, rather then end up surprised that I ate it all in one go I did refill my bowl once, but I donāt feel any bad about it I finished my dinner and nuts dessert at 6pm and didnāt eat since.
@Kareness Good job! Keep it up. @Jana1988 I had a persistent cough for several weeks this year and my muscles were sore for even a week after all the other symptoms subsided. It just takes time. I know patience is not easy in this situation. I did not have much of it myself And a really well done job on the snack and telly situation!
I really agree that getting some food orientated support would help. If I have asked before I apologise, have you tried over eaters anonymous? Some regular person to person support might help.
I agree with many on here that at the moment your body and mind are all over the place with food. You need to slowly train yourself to eat real food. I understand it is not easy, especially when it is difficult to cook, and you binge on even āhealthyā food.
For me what helped was spending a year trying to eat well holistically. I focused on getting enough protein and veggies and reducing processed food, but if I ate three bowls of veggie curry I ate three bowls of veggie curry.
I know I am lucky I have the resources and time to make stuff, but I make a lot of coleslaw, salads or soup, with lots of veggies and protein, and I let myself eat as much as I want. It took so long for me to retrain my body, and feeling full still sometimes makes me want to eat more, or feeling hungry makes me want to starve myself, but I am much better at noticing and following hunger cues.
Youāre right that Iām very impatient when it comes to any type of illnesses Iām not good at being ill
Something strange happened.
I was sittings in the living room today morning, crying out of frustration, asking why meā¦ (drama queen) and then I remembered when my mother in law had this cough last year and hers was so bad that she actually cracked her ribs. She was driving us all insane by the constant coughing, I was sometimes angry rather than compassionate. And so I was thinking about it and I felt ashamed of myself. It was quite hard to admit it to myself too that I wasnāt nice at that situation. It doesnāt help the way our relationship is, thatās why I can loose compassion but I shouldnātā¦! I am not a bad person, I hopeā¦
What I want to say is that when I remembered and realised this, I forced myself to put my ego aside and admit to myself how bad I was and how unnice the behaviour was. I donāt know what has happened but since then my cough calmed down to manageable amount. I am shocked. I donāt know if any of you here believe in these things but itās almost like I was supposed to realise this. And now when I did I can maybe finally can get betterā¦
Maybe itās just a nonsense, I donāt know
Saying that I binged a little tonight, nothing compared to how I used to, and it was total emotional eating.
I will let it out here. My mother in law really irritated me today. She irritates me a lot, and it makes me feel so guilty as she is a nice harmless lady really. But she tells the same stories over and over again, about how she was didnāt talk when she was a kid, how when she met her husband he told her she āglitteredā,about how she has had two strokes and two miscarriages, etc. She will literally talk for 30 - 45 minutes, and never asks about me. And I hear the same thing every time I meet her, so about once every two months. I feel extra bad, as my mum was always mean about my step-dadās mum, who was a similar well meaning lady, and always hated that about my mum when I was a kid, and I hate anything about myself that is like my mum, because she was a pretty toxic parent. It just makes me feel so bad about myself.
27 days no takeaways.
2 days no crisps.
1 day no binge-eating.
0 days no sugar. (I finished a small amount of jam on 2 slices of toast last night, itās gone now).
Thank you for your replies. Yes, I have a diagnosis of Bulimia. I have been reading books and listening to audiobooks about recovery from eating disorders since 2018. The ED clinic at the hospital donāt think itās about the food, but rather my trauma history, they donāt think CBT would be effective for me at all. So thatās why Iāll be starting Psychodynamic Psychotherapy with the psychiatrist again, to continue from where we left off 1.5 years ago. They say that my problem is bingeing (anything), and that itās emotionally driven. I agree with them. My relationship with food is definitely not healthy either though, but thatās mostly because I have 8st worth of excess fat on my body, and have developed diabetes from my eating behaviours, and feel so insecure about my body and size that I can barely leave my flat, because I donāt want to be seen. So I am stuck desperately and perpetually trying to lose this huge amount of weight, and this keeps me trapped in diet mentality and the restrict-binge cycle. I did join a ānot a dietā program, that uses neuroscience and NLP to retrain the brain to eat ānormallyā, it was after just 3 days of listening to the pods that I began to eat real food for the first time in years, but as per previous attempts with buying groceries, I ended up still binge-eating it all. The only things I donāt binge are meal replacements and pre-packaged things like frozen meals that have to be ācookedā, or if Iām out and about then things like salads or other healthy options, and fruit, that are packaged into single serving portions, and if I only buy 1 portion. I cant buy 7 to last me a week for example, as I will just eat them all in a short amount of time.
Today is Fatherās Day here in the UK, my family are gathering at my dadās this evening. I have no doubt that this will involve a takeaway as usual, so I am hoping I donāt submit to their pressure this time.
Oh man I feel you!!! Just I have to live it EVERY DAY My partnerās brother lives away and was visiting after quite a long time and he asked us if we think that his mum is ok because she repeats herself a lot, and Iām like āYep, thatās totally normal.ā Itās every day the same stories all over and over and I canāt stand it It is so bad that Iām planning my time around the house in the way to avoid her, because once you get into the conversation with her - itās hard to get out. Sometimes when sheās in her room and one of us is suppose to bring her a dinner or a cup of tea weāre arguing about whoās turn it isā¦ I laugh now but seriously - itās baaad
I also understand what you mean saying she talks only about herslef. E.g. when we come from holiday sheāll ask how it was and let is talk maybe a minute and then sheāll start about herself again and doesnāt even acknowledge us. Or whenever Iād be telling her about any my struggle sheāll start talking about herself again, even if itās totally unrelated. Itās so hard man.
I am at state where I canāt deal with her anymore. Iām negative automatically even before I talk to her, my thoughts about her are all negative and itās just anything she does is wrong and justifies for me how d*mb she is.
I feel bad about all this because she is my partnerās mother and I should have some respect for her. But I have none. I used to have, but itās all gone. I donāt know how to change, how to deal with itā¦I just wanna move out and I hope that will help us.
But as long as we live here, itās a torture for me.
Today I thought Iād have a bit of time with my bf but nope. Sheās talking a hole in his head about herself and her horrible life for about 2 hours now. If I only one day could tell everything I think with pure honesty. Sheād never get over it I guess.
Oh god. I canāt imagine I wouldnāt go out at all. It would lead me to depression probably and would make my issue worse. Is it not a little bit down spiral solution? Must be difficult to loose any weight if you donāt move around.
Iām sorry you donāt feel confident and good about yourself. I hope the sessions youāre going to undertake will help you
Good luck celebrating the fatherās day without falling of the vagon. Iād be pleased to see 2 days no binge-eating here tomorrow
).
I donāt fear anymore gaining weight if I donāt exercise like a crazy in every single day because I naturally eat less. This teaches me that when I go back to my active life it will be very different now. Iām going to drop exercises I didnāt enjoy at all and replace them with ones I think I could gain interest at. One new one for me will be yoga 
Iād really like to get into it, because it seems to give everything - it exercises mind, breathing, flexibility and strength.
Itās such a nice feeling not to be scaredā¦ 
Somehow I manage to sleep a bit at night but the cough will wake me up multiple times at night. Itās the most annoying thing Iāve ever had 
Keep up the good work! Youāre making some good progress from what I can tell as well! 
And a really well done job on the snack and telly situation!
Iām not good at being ill 
