I really am sorry you had such a dreadful experience. I remember how awful that feels: before, during and after.
A few days ago you wrote a very comprehensive and extremely helpful post about Stages of relapse.
Maybe you can think back for yourself: When did your relapse start? What was the emotional relapse that started all that? When did you get into that next phase of mental relapse?
If you have no idea how all this happened - and believe me I‘ve felt like that sooo many times, then maybe a journal could be helpful? Journaling about emotions, thoughts, etc.
I understand that bingeing and eating seems so very different than other drugs - the idea that you cannot completely stop eating being very persuasive here. But in my experience that is not really true. It took me actually quite a while to find out that this is an argument my addictive mind likes very much.
There might be substances that you cannot moderate - for me this would be sugar, but the problem is not eating, but bingeing. And these are actually two very different things. You need to eat, but you don‘t need to binge. I understand that these might feel like they start a the same point, but if you look at those stages of relapse, the absolutely don‘t.
Eating is physical and emotional self care. I engage in this activity to take care of my self. The starting point here being self care - literally an act of care.
Bingeing is an act of physical and emotional paind and destruction. I engage in this activity to bring pain - a very strong experience - to my current, uncomfortable state. The starting point being self destruction here. I want to destruct the way I feel at that moment, I want to bring pain to the way reality is now - literally an act of desctruction.
edit: So eating happens before the first stage of relapse: as an act of self care. It actually prevents a relapse. Bingeing on the other hand is the last stage of relapse, when I have neglected my self care and my needs, when I have already relapsed emotionally and mentally.
This is one of the reasons why bingeing episodes will often happen after we have actually neglected our need to eat properly and are hungry.