Stages of relapse

Knowledge
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I read something today that I found very interesting and helpful. Thought Id share as it might help someone else become aware of when a possible relapse is about to happen:

Most people completely misunderstand what relapse actually is.
Everyone thinks relapse is when someone picks up a drink or a drug.

But they’re wrong.

Here’s why:

Relapse starts weeks or months before someone uses
It begins with poor self-care - not sleeping, not eating, isolating
The physical use is just the final stage of a process that’s been building

The truth is, relapse is a gradual process with three distinct stages: emotional, mental, then physical.

Emotional relapse: You’re not thinking about using, but you’re not taking care of yourself. You’re angry, isolating, not going to meetings, lying about how you feel.

Mental relapse: Now you’re thinking about using. Romanticizing the “good times.” Bargaining - maybe just once, maybe just on weekends.

Physical relapse: You pick up the substance.

If you’re struggling with “cravings” or thinking about using, you’re already in stage two.

That’s not where intervention happens.

The real work happens in stage one.

Try this right now:

Ask yourself these four questions daily - I call it the HALT Check:

Am I Hungry?
Am I Angry?
Am I Lonely?
Am I Tired?

If you answer YES to any of these, stop what you’re doing and address it immediately.

Eat something. Call someone. Get some sleep.

These aren’t small things - they’re the foundation of your recovery.

If you’re already in mental relapse (thinking about using):

Don’t wait. Message or call someone that can help today.

Recovery isn’t about white-knuckling through cravings.

It’s about building a life where cravings don’t show up in the first place.

What stage are you in right now? Be honest.

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This is amazing, thanks for putting it together! A month ago when i was home alone i was firmly in a state of mental relapse, and I’m so grateful that i phoned for help and broke out of the cycle before it got any worse. I think during difficult times, i do tend to take my foot off the gas and stop focusing on my sobriety so much, because I’m wallowing in my own funk. I need to be more careful of that.

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Pure gold! Thank you for taking the time to post such incredibly helpful stuff for everyone in all stages of recovery and all addictions.

I hope you don’t mind…I added it to the knowledge category. I’m sure many will benefit from reading and digesting all that you have to offer here.

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@Madds @Lisa07
Youre both very welcome! I found it very helpful and thought it was good info for the forum! I could relate to being in the emotional and mental stage at times. Didnt realize that they were a stage of relapse… although after reading this, i could see more clearly now how being in these stages can lead to a relapse if not taken care of. Ive always heard that relapse happens before the actual act of picking up. But never understood HOW that relapse happens. Like what occurs before u pick up. This made it more clear for me. Glad it was useful!

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Ah this brilliant! And bookmarked. Thank you, dear Dana.

It’s the end of a longgg week and I could keep going this weekend or take a much needed break and restore some balance and get some rest.
I’m gonna opt for taking the break. (And check in here plenty too :wink: )
That is what I really craved when I was drinking… taking care of myself and my life!

Huge thanks for sharing this. :folded_hands: :orange_heart:

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Youre SO welcome!! Im glad u decided on taking the break and getting some rest! Its so important that we listen to what our bodies need.

And I LOVE what u wrote here!! Its very true for me too. Thinking back… what i really craved was being able to take care of myself and my life, yet i just didnt know how to do that. But thats what i craved all along :slight_smile:

Hope u have a fabulous weekend friend!

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i like it brings back that self care is important in our recovery

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Yes absolutely!! Ur right!!

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Pure gold, thank you Dana :folded_hands::100:
Bookmarked and added to the many many reasons why & where HALT is helpful.

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Ur so welcome!! Glad it could be helpful!

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Thanks @Butterflymoonwoman I booked mark this

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Thanks for the reminder

HALT have been crucial to my early recovery since my cravings back then were insane

But reading them ( not just HALT, but actually reading them again (hungry, lonely,..) with their significations) got to me.

I already knew that when I try to do a little bit of calorie deficit I tend to have some sort of cravings coming back. That’s why it’s so hard to loose weight - I have to go very slow in my deficit and keep at it with consistency, which is hard. Anyways that’s not my point :

Reading the HALTs made me realize that I am angry (against myself), I am lonely (we temporarily moved for a year far from our home), and I am sooo tired all the time (we have a toddler who does not sleep well). Plus I just lost a parent last month.

Even if I’m 5y sober next month, i am still seeing signs of relapse in the post you made. I do not fantasize drinking (or am I, secretly ???) but I do romance the idea of smoking cigarettes (which I was smoking when I drank).

I will address this first thing. Thank you for the reminder.

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Im so glad u posted! And im so glad that this was helpful for u :slight_smile: Im sorry ur going thru a few things at the moment that is bringing out that angry, lonely, and tired aspect of HALT. Life can surely be hard at times. And my deepest condolences to you for the loss of ur parent last month :people_hugging:

I think, even for myself too, that i sometimes forget the basics of recovery. I have 3.5 years clean and sober and i sometimes forget about the basics, like HALT. I also used to use it often in early recovery. And then somewhere along the line, it sort of wasnt a tool that I used very often anymore. And since our addictions are so cunning, baffling, and powerful… its so important to be aware and stay on top of these things each day.

Anyway, im glad it was helpful. It was helpful for me too :slight_smile:

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Stage 2 is exactly how I’m feeling right now, I’m nearly 3 months sober but am really struggling at the moment :roll_eyes:. Thank you for sharing this, I’ve come this far, just got to keep pushing forward :slightly_smiling_face:

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Fantastic post very well put

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Welcome to the community @475
Hang in there. We’re all in your pocket if you need us

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Thank you :heart:

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How have u been doing since u posted? Just wanted to check in with ya :slight_smile:

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Hi
Thank you for checking in on me, that’s kind. I’m feeling a bit better at the moment, been keeping myself busy, I find if I sit around for too long my mind goes into overdrive. How are you?

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Thats great! Im glad ur feelijg better :slight_smile: Im the same way as u… i like to be doing things and being productive. I find i get restless just sitting around. My mind can go places lol

Im doing okay today, thanks for asking. Have a few things planned for the day to keep busy. But will try to relax at some point. Recovery is going well.