The story from the shop is quite funny and sad in the same time.. 
I donāt know, we tent to have public toilets, nowadays itās perhaps everywhere, I think itās more about me and my ābad habitsā and a little bit of overthinking 
Then I cycle +/-100km every weekend and I am ok, because I have to be
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Day 1657 : No binge today. 
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Good morning, unfortunately I relapsed again and binged yesterday.
Firstly I had the bloody chocolate I was craving so badly. I bought it during my lunch break and donāt even remember the taste when I ate it later in front of my laptop while working. So no excitement or satisfaction in there. Secondly I had a little bit of Indian takeaway which my partner ordered the other day and left me some to taste. I donāt like Indian food (most of it anyway), because of the taste and their spices give me IBS 90% of time. I ate it out of laziness to prepare myself something else. It was very spicy 
(I donāt have a high threshold for spicy food) and I didnāt like it, fortunately and surprisingly it didnāt give me IBS this time at least. But how silly to knowingly commit to hurting myself just because of laziness to cook??? Who does that?
After the takeaway I felt knackered. My energy level dropped to the bottom and I felt so sleepy I canāt even tell. I had the same after a pizza takeaway at work a few days ago. I donāt think this kind of food is any good for me at all anymore! I never want to feel so tired and exhausted ever again. Thatās what makes me feel so bad and low in mood too.
Now I remember that I bought the chocolate after I had the takeaway, I probably subconsciously wanted to change my mood and get back some energy (it didnāt work though).
In the evening I had friends over to have a look at my shower (something doesnāt work, I wonāt bore you with that) and after they left it was quite late and I binged on my dinner a little. Nothing major but made me to reset my counter after 9pm. My rule not to eat after 8pm was in the bin for last few days.. 
Anyway, despite all that I decided to take a little bit care of myself before bed and put an overnight face mask on my face. Today morning I also put some purple hair mask into my hair and it all feels very nice. I finally got off my old nail polish and want to apply a fresh one, maybe even a colour 
I am going for birthday coffee with my friend today so it will be nice to feel a bit looked after. I am always in my sports clothes and sweating after some exercise and not often I actually do something like this. I donāt even use makeup most of the days. And I am thinking that maybe I should start taking a better care of myself because it just feels nice. Before I thought that I just donāt have time for it as itās at a bottom of my priorities but if I donāt binge I can do this instead, it feels like a good replacement of the habit. I will see how that goes, but so far I like the idea 
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I hope you will have a nice day with your friend. And with your own self.
Your replacement project sounds like a good one!
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So Iām not sure if this post counts as day -1 or day 0 check in or however that works, but Iāve ate so bad everyday for so long that my bodyās default feeling is just terrible. Iām also going through a divorce that was caused by my primary addiction and trying to sell our house because I canāt afford to make the payments on my own. Iāve been dealing with terrible stress/tension headaches and have been trying to escape into food and T.V shows. Iām ready to do something about it. I went to the grocery store and got stocked up to start back to trying to regain a healthy relationship with food. 
wish me luck 
I canāt stand feeling like this any more and have to stick with it this time.. bleh
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Hello @ErinTheSideOfCaution
Sounds like youāre ready to move from the bottom up. I hope and wish you find the support you need in this thread. Iām looking forward to learn about your past struggles as well as new wins, so please share whatever you want!
Iām sorry that youāre going through some tough life changes but it will end eventually and you will be able to look back as a new stronger person. It canāt be easy and I understand the need to escape to some sort of comfort which weāre tricked to believe that food may offer. In the end of the day itās like any other addition and its apparently benefits donāt last long but become rather an another problem to deal with 
But here weāre, our small āarmyā of awoken who realised that thereās some issue in the way we eat and think about food and we share what works for us and what doesnāt and support each other in this group. Youāre very welcome here 
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584 sugar
448 UPF
322 gluten/dairy
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I know how it feels to be buffeted around emotionally by food. If I binge one day I feel disgusting and weak, and if I eat āperfectā one day I feel strong and like fat is melting. It is so stupid (me, not you, but maybe you can relate) because in actuality one binge or one overeat doesnāt change my body instantly, and can never change who I am as a person.
Today was an OK day. The kids wanted to go to Macdonalds for lunch (obviously wouldnāt be my first choice), but after a burger and half a portion of fries, I was done. We brought the leftovers home, and I left them alone. But that is not me restricting either, I made a nice nutritious curry for dinner and I will eat my fill of that. I couldnāt go for a run this morning as I woke up a bit late and too hot for that malarky. Hoping to sleep well tonight so I can get up and out tomorrow.
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Day 1658 : No binge today.
@ErinTheSideOfCaution Hi, I donāt think Iāve seen you on this thread before. If youāre new here, welcome! Sorry about your relapse, try not to beat yourself up. We all were there once, including me. Just try to get back up and start again. You got this. 
I hope you find this thread helpful/inspiring in a positive way.
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Hey @Aleyadaisey! Thanks for the encouragement Iāve always had an addictive personality and have fought with various addictions but binge eating has been so persistent for like 10 years or more. I was able to get it under control last year and even lost about 100lbs, but sadly my primary addiction costed my marriage and when that happened I returned to bad food habits and havenāt done good at all since.
I want to get a healthy relationship with food, but I also have big weight loss goals because Iāve got some really big life things happening in the next 6-8 months and I want to get back down to a better weight before then. But the clock keeps ticking and every night I have the same āokay Iāll just eat āx,y,zā tonight and start good tomorrow.ā And I know itās cliche but tomorrow never comes, itās always today when I make those deals with myself and I never stick with them. Sorry for the rant, I just feel a little defeated. Iām not even going to try the whole āIāll be āgoodā tomorrowā bit tonight. Iāll be helping my wife move the last of her stuff out of our house so I guess I very much anticipating some āeating my feelingsā tomorrow. 
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585 sugar
449 UPF
323 gluten/dairy
Been having trouble with the dosage of my HRT. That certainly screwed with my hunger, cravings, etc
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Yet youāre still on track! Well done my girl 
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I am not happy with my eating currently, but as long as I stay away from my triggers thatās good enough for me.
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Day 1659 : No binge today.
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586 sugar
450 UPF
324 gluten/dairy
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Day 1660 : No binge today.
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Well, I made it through my first day with being intentional about food and sticking to the plan I made for myself and it went quite well. I feel like garbage because I guess my body is craving a bunch of stuff that I typically over load her with and didnāt today, but even though I feel like garbage, I also feel really good about actually doing this and not finding a reason to continue the perpetual āIāll just start over tomorrowā.
Day 1 down, and im mentally prepared for day 2. Weāll worry about day 3 later 
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587 sugar
451 UPF
325 gluten/dairy
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Doing ok. The heat is making me want ice-cream, and we have a big box in the freezer for the kids. 
But I donāt want to make it a habit. Eating one after pool with the kids, or with a friend at a coffeeshop, is ok. But not everyday, mindlessly for no reason. I have a bag of these weird apple/Japanese pear combination fruits in the fridge so am eating one every evening when I want something cold and sweet.
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Hey @acromouse! Iām just curious on your daily posts. Are these numbers your monthly intake of those things like sugar / dairy?
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