First time here, and first time I’ve ever signed up for anything like this. Hopefully this community will help and I’ll be able to stick to my goal of staying sober (5th time lucky, right?).
Anyway, not sure what to say, but I’m 24, employed and in a 7 year relationship, and addicted to cocaine. Its only been 6 months since first being introduced to it, and I’m already at the point of doing lines before I’ve even brushed my teeth.
I’ve been lying to my partner and my family about my addiction and been abusing coke behind my partners back every single day for the best part of 2 months. All the while everyone believed I was sober. She found out last night and we had a surprisingly calm talk about it.
Tonight I’m having a blowout. A few beers and a bag of coke, then tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my sober life. No coke, and no alcohol.
Hopefully I can utilize this forum and the app to help me through the dark times ahead, and also maybe help others with their battles.
You had me convinced untill you said tonight I’m having a blow out tonight and then tomorrow is the start. Idk bro, that’s not a good idea in my opinion but I can’t stop you, if you need to have a blow out tonight, what’s gonna stop you from not saying one more time tomorrow or the next day. If you want to quit you would do it right now. Not make exuses and find way to have one more blow out. You’ve already had 6 months of blow outs. Coke took over my life and took everything from me dude, it’s no fun. You give in once you’ll keep giving in. That’s just my opinion, welcome to the forum. Hope to see yah stick around friend
Haha dude. Bad choice mate. Do you think that this could be the one that takes you or makes you do something silly like drive a car and kill a kid?
My experience of blow tend to be never ending or at least until you pass out.
Just think of the damage you could do.
I’ve been hiding it from my partner for so long, all the sneaking around and lying, staying up until daylight and pretending I’ve fell asleep on the sofa when she comes down. I agree with you lot, a blowout is not the best idea I’ve ever had, but I’m going to try and not to lie to myself anymore, and if I fail tomorrow I’ll report back and call for help.
I fancied a bag today, and something clicked in my head. Rather than buying it, sneaking around and pretending I’m not on it like usual, I thought screw it, I dont want to lie anymore, so I told my girlfriend I’m going to have a blowout tonight and try and stay clean afterwards. It went surprisingly well, and I felt quite good about it.
Like I said, it’s not the best idea AT ALL, but it’s a start. No more lies, I dont feel ashamed, I feel good (not in the way coke makes me feel good) and proud.
I’ve completely opened up to my partner today, I’ve made it hard for me to hide it by telling her how to tell I’m on it. I’ve also promised myself and her to talk about it when I’m withdrawing and craving, and she’s agreed not to go crazy “IF” I fail and buy another.
I’ll report back tomorrow afternoon if I still have the same frame of mind.
Ugh man you got me written all over you man. I did all the same, did coke in the bathroom when my daughter was born just because I needed one more. Left her home with the baby just bc I needed one more, drained my bank account because I just needed one more. Untill everything was gone including her bc I kept making promises and never followed through. You’re gonna loose it all man, you don’t sound ready yet. Hopefully it doesn’t taking losing it all and hitting rock bottom to get you ready. Rebuilding your life from scratch will be alot harder if you just give it up now. Either way like I’ve said welcome. Feel free to hit me up when needed bud
Man. I had so many “blowouts” and “just one mores” it’ll make your head spin. Trust me. It’s never just “one more”. You’ll have your blowout tonight then tomorrow just a little bit to get ya going. Then you’ll say your done, but then nighttime hits and you need a little pick me. Fast forward 6 more months and your jobless, single and living in your car.
We say we need a blowout because we are afraid of what the future holds-it prevents us from thinking of our life without it. However, tomorrow will come and you will fiend for it. Hopefully you’re stronger than me but one last night of coke and alcohol always left me feeling empty and wanting more. Because…we are addicts. If we were normal, we could just leave it but we can’t. Good luck. This forum and the people in it (as you can see) will tell it how it is because we have all been there & will be there for you when you decide to get clean for good.
I really appreciate everyones input, the replies are quite refreshing actually, kind of expected “good luck” etc, but I’m happy with the response. I’m going to stick around here for a while.
Honestly I feel like this “one more time” could very well work, it’s not foolproof, it’s not false hope, it’s a start.
Does anyone have any advice that they wish they had when they first decided to get sober? First thing on my list is figuring out my triggers.
I never heard it’s worth it. Wish I would of heard that. Untill I hit this community I finally heard it, and I’ve been sober sense. So just know it’s worth it man. Life is not easy sober, but it beats the hangovers,the shame, the guilt. No more needin just one more. I was a fat lazy bum I didn’t leave my couch, I sat in my room doing coke all the time. The new me is crazy dude, the shit you will accomplish is all the shit you dream about in your addiction
Yes. I wish I hadn’t gotten so close to the edge of losing it all. I wish I hadn’t missed all of those good night hugs and kisses from my daughter, when I was passed out in my chair every night. One day she’ll be grown and on her own, and I will miss those missed times.
Time…it is finite and we each have our portion, but we don’t know how large a portion we have, until it’s gone. Now, I won’t willingly waste a single moment. Each cup of coffee shared with my wife, each hug from my daughter…these are gifts.
My advice…don’t waste another moment being wasted.
This had me laugh-cry-facepalm-headshake. Yup, been there. That’s pure addict ridiculousness and craziness! Welcome to the forum, I hope that in a few months you’ll have the same response to this post as I had tonight! You’ve gotten a lot of good advice here from people who’ve been where you are now.
My advice to you is: life will be so much better. Also: your sobriety is your responsibility, it is not your girlfriend’s! Don’t make her be able to tell when you’re high, man, what?! Take your life in your own hands and get sober. All the best, stick around!
I feel like I’ve been grilled for my post and replies, and everyone has made me feel quite ashamed and so small. But I’m truly grateful, I recognise it’s entirely what I needed to hear. Glad I found this forum.
I’m sure it was noones intention to shame you but I can see why you feel that way anyway. You made the right decision. This forum will call you on your bullshit in the future, we will be here with advice and with tons of support along the way too. We’re all in this together. Welcome.
Take your life in your own hands and get sober. All the best, stick around!