Ive read Allen Carrs book a while back, and now just put down This Naked Mind
(couldnt finish it). These books did not address what Im looking for. Im looking for a process that I execute on when I am feeling like picking up a drink
The how is not addressed in the books (in my opinion).
What to do when you feel like drinking
What process do you follow to get past cravings
If there is a book that is more focused on this I would really like to know. Kept hearing in the above books on “you’ll never want to drink again after reading.”
Chapter 5 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous gives a blueprint on how to never drink again. At first it didn’t make sense to me. But I went through the book step by step with a sponsor and by the time I was done I was relieved of the obsession and compulsion to drink. Rather than having to fight through cravings the steps in this book took away my cravings altogether. All it took was a little bit of faith and trust.
You don’t have to do anything to be a member of AA other than show up. I found it was helpful for me to have a higher power, but I’ve been in meetings with people who have decades of sobriety without one. I know for me that I was so desperate to get sober I would have tried anything.
I hear you and i can relate. I probably spend 3-5 years longer as a drunk than i needed to because of my stipulations on sobriety. Overall though do you think there may at least be a bigger perspective than you currently have? Then there is a higher reality than you or I have, but honestly its not critical. Just the desire to be sober.
I find the heart of acceptance is meeting reality on its terms, with that in mind I’d say to try and let go of as many stipulations to sobriety as you can. It’ll help.
In my humble view, I don’t think you’ll ever find the ideal one size fits all how to sober book.
I’ve read quite a few and could easily tear them apart, or find online opinions of other people tearing them apart. But at the same time, I read them because I was hurting and the alcohol nearly killed me so many times that something just had to finally change.
So I just took the parts that resonated with me and applied them to my own life.
From Quit Like a Woman, I got the idea that I need to replace my drinking routine with something else to look forward to. Now I meditate, drink chamomile tea and start my days with hot lemon water with honey.
From the Annie Grace book… ok. I wasn’t a huge fan of that one, but it helped me change the way I see drinking. It’s not that I can’t drink, I don’t have to drink.
From the memoirs, I saw the trials and tribulations of others facing similar struggles with me and how they got better.
I’ve yet to read the Big Book of AA, but plenty swear by it and you might find something ot value there for yourself.
It’s not the ‘how’ for me. That’s easy, don’t buy alcohol, don’t consume alcohol. It’s more a question of ‘why’
Thanks for that! What an insightful comment! I feel like what I haven’t found yet is the how. How do I deal with and move past the desire to drink. I have a good idea of the “why” for me, and it fits into part of the HALT acronym. I can’t get past the “why” without doing the thing that in retrospect is now causing those problems to continue. So i feel “stuck” and frustrated
In the end no book and no words of advice or tips from us are going to make the change for you. We each have to do our own work, figure out what works for us as individuals, what resonates, what helps move us forward, what helps us thru our individual cravings. We all had to do our own work. All I know is I was so sick of my life and how terrible I felt every night I went to bed and woke up hungover that something had to change. That something was me.
for me going to AA saved my life i didnt really care what i had to do because i wanted to be sober and i was willing to go to any lengths to achieve this .relised over the decades that im the only one that can get and keep me sober not books . my friend John is a atheist he came to AA a short time after me hes coming up for 35 years sober next month
Lots of atheists and agnostics in AA. The BB devoted a whole chapter to the agnostics, and it’s one of the most critical chapters in the whole BB.
Ultimately, what kept me from sobriety was my own stinking thinking. I simply refused to let go of my preconceived notions on alcohol, sobriety, and life in general.
It stands for the big book of AA. There’s good stuff in it, but if there’s one chapter in particular that makes me not want to be part of AA it is "we agnostics’. I’m an atheist and a humanist and honestly I have no idea how atheists are comfortable accepting stuff like this. But please judge for yourself. These are the final paragraphs of “we agnostics”:
Save for a few brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity.
What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made him willing to believe. He humbly offered himself to his Maker - then he knew.
Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him.
When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!
Thanks! The religion stuff is a hard stop for me. I also read another piece that someone posted and it was the same thing. I’m looking into the SMART guidebook right now, and will see how that goes. Appreciate the reply!
I just finished, The Alcohol Reset: A 66-Day Guided Break from Alcohol, by Dr. Melissa Dittberner. Awesome book/workbook. She also teaches a great online NAADAC certification course for Peer Specialists. Found her through a Tedx Talk, but can’t remember the title.