Wow i cant believe ive made it to this day - - 4 years free from weed and alcohol!! I never could have imagined a life like this that ive built one day at a time 
Ive been on TS “sober curious” since January 2022. I celebrated 30 days no drinking,but high as a kite every night, with drinks. Oh the insanity! Before that i knew i had a problem…tried aa a couple times and cried my way thru the meetings, compared my story with theirs (“oh im not THAT bad”) and proceeded to go straight to the liquor aisle.
After 20 years of progressive addiction, shame, and guilt, a lost dream job, and having to apply for new jobs to get unemployment, i decided to give sobriety another try May 1, 2022. I was just gonna do another 30 days but about 15 days in i decided i wanted to see how far i could go. I feared my husband, my drinking buddy, wouldnt support me. I was scared of changing our dynamic but he supported me while continuing to drink for 2 more months. The distance grew between us as he was still using almost every day until he got sober july 14th.
Im greatful to have hit rock bottom and surrendered. My way of surviving wasnt working. There was no hope. Drinking stopped being fun awhile ago. It was now a habit and i was drinking when i didnt want to but couldnt deny the impulse. I couldnt imagine living without my coping mechanism.
Then i found TS and Alcoholics anonymous. I came here everyday. I went to 3-4 meetings a week after 30days. I found a sponsor at 60days. I worked the steps and found relief. I tried many new coping techniques and built up my sober toolbox. Then i addressed my health and started working out to lose 120lbs.
Im no longer obese, depressed, hopeless, living outside my values, dishonest. I have clarity, moments of peace and contentment and joy. Wow the feeling of laughter when its genuine is phenomenal! I have a sponsor and i sponsor 2 ladies. I still visit TS daily and try to support the newcomer.
Every year i set an intention…
Yr 1 = one day at a time, getting sober
Yr 2 = balance
Yr 3= finding my spirituality
Yr 4 = rolling with lifes punches, 1 day at a time, with growing spirituality and contentment
Yr 5 = my intention for this year as i graduate out of early sobriety is acceptance, letting go of control
I make this long ass post to share hope. We can recover with action and doing the next right thing. Sometimes that involves taking counteraction to what my first impulse is. Its ok to ask for help. Its ok to surrender and admit a way of living isnt serving you anymore.
All we have is today and i am committed to resting my head on my pillow tonight sober.
Much love sober warriors!
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