Calling all people here with one year plus of sobriety from their addicion. I, and Im sure others here, would like to learn what worked and what didn’t work for you on your path to sobriety. Im 21 days free from alcohol and weed and at this time, one year seems unmanageable. I would truly appreciate you share so others can pick and choose methods that may lead to a successful and fulfilling pathway of sobriety!
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Congrats on 21 days!!
I think staying active here was imperative to my recovery. Learning from and interacting with people who are like me and understand the struggles and victories we go through. That and the gratitude thread- it pulled me out of a slump earlier in my recovery, and I find that I need to at least read there daily, even if I don’t post.
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Try not to think about one year. Try to stay in today. We can do anything for short intervals…in the beginning, I had to not drink for one minute at a time, then one hour, and now, I just have to not drink for TODAY. I have a few “todays” strung together. And the one day at a time mentality has helped me live more freely…in many aspects.
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What didn’t work - doing it alone, doing it haphazardly
What did work - being a member of a ‘sober tribe’, having a ‘program’ (plan, schedule, routine)
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The first few months are the hardest, it feels so daunting like an uphill task that’s not possible. This is normal.
Live for today, don’t compare yourself to others, I struggled with this when I would see someone who’s farther along and they got their shit together pretty good and in comparison you feel like it’s not possible.
No two people are alike no two stories are alike they have similarities but what I been through and what you been through are two different things. So to say it’s a fair comparison on equal playing grounds to start with is purely a lie
I used to teach guitar, and students would often get frustrated when they hear someone play who’s way better and be like I’ll never get to that point, oh how long have they been playing like 5 years? In comparison to your 5 days. Can you get there sure, it’s a matter of taking smaller steps instead of big gulps
Time takes time, don’t look at the big picture, look at the smaller bite size goals that can get you to that big picture, like your 21 days in, let’s work on 30, make it great add another 15 that’s 45, another 15 that’s 60, another 30 that’s 90. A Milestone
So now you gulped down 30 days in a row as a milestone, try for another 30 4 months and another 30 5 months, another 30 boom 6 months
And another 90 days 9 months, another 90 your at a year
Smaller goals add up to make bigger goals, and then they can grow from there, the difference I noticed with sobriety is, as time goes on it gets easier. Where as with most other things such as going from your bachelors to a masters degree gets harder
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We replaced anything that had to do with alcohol…people, places, and things…
That left a huge void. So, I started replacing those things with new sober things
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Hey CJP.
One lousy day at a time.
ODAAT.
I know it’s cliché. But it was all I had in me.
I changed it up a little with:
I’m not drinking today. And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow.
Early on it was my morning routine.
Short Bible reading.
Courage To Change daily reading.
Hazeldon Betty Ford daily reading.
JFT.org daily reading.
And a couple of others. I went over kill. I’m an addict.
And then my all important Gratitude List.
It was a lot in the morning. I’m grateful I’m retired so I could “get to,” do all that.
I did at least 2 angry power walks a day with Eminem and friends. I was always so pissed off. Why can’t I drink like a normie?
A second long hot tearful relaxing afternoon shower. I’m a morning shower person. That one really confused my brain. Like what are you doing taking a shower at happy hour? It got me all relaxed to cook a nice meal with my favorite wine glass of sparkling water. I’m on here a lot now. But I don’t think I was on here a lot when I first started out. Just gratitude. Now look at me 
Get your feelings out on here. It always helps me.
We got your back.
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My first year was pretty up and down. Towards the end of it I started the 12 steps fully with my second sponsor. Didn’t really have cravings before that, but since completing the steps my life has improved so much more than I ever thought possibly. I’ve done a looooot of recovery related stuff, but if I had to single one thing out it’d definitely be working the steps.
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Congratulations on your 3 weeks!!
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Congrats on 21 days, THREE WEEKS sober! I wrote out my “hows” at my 8 month soberversary so I am linking it here: 8 month soberversary! - #10 by Kareness
You can do this!!
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I have 526 days I struggle still everyday! What helps me is staying in today, crazy but right now at this moment I’m not drinking and that’s good for me. The urges come and go so I attend AA celebrate my moments of sobriety, I live life, enjoy a smile love God, hug my wife , argue with my wife lol it’s all a choice on what you chose to do. A battle of words once you get past 6 months. Example … I wont drink, I will drink. I’m a bad person , I’m a good person, I hate my job, i love my job, I’m not successful, i am successful ect.ect .
For me a battle of words. Good luck be strong cheering you on.
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There’s an existing thread on this you might like
What it was like then and what it’s like for us now. For those with a year of sobriety
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It sounds like such a cliche (because it is) but the one thing that has been the best tool for me is truly just taking it one day at a time.
One year of sobriety does seem unmanageable because that’s a very overwhelming amount of time and work to think about. It’s very important just to focus on today and right now and the days will begin to fly by as you become more and more accustomed to sober living.
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As someone who had 456 days then 6 months. Years don’t mean anything. Doesn’t matter if you have one day or 20 years it’s a never ending battle, and someone with one day can have as much wisdom and knowledge as some with years. Just need to be willing to change and be better, find a therapist or however you see fit. We all have different ways and routes to recover. And I shouldn’t say never ending battle bc yeah it gets better. But life will always have moments and be difficult and challenging
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My path to sobriety and recovery was very long and twisty. I knew decades ago I had a problem with alcohol, but it was all I knew. I drank for 40+ years…and once I truly started knowing I had to make a change (about 15 years ago now), I began by instituting some ‘rules’ or ‘bargaining’ or ‘moderating’ my drinking.
I kept looking for that elusive system that would make it so I could continue to drink, ‘get a handle on it,’ not overdo or feel bad about it, etc.
I tried everything, for years, just beer, no hard liquor, only hard clear colored liquor, only 3 drinks a night, only 4 days a week, only weekends, water after every drink, all that type of thinking and trying to figure out how I could be a ‘normal drinker.’
I tried the 1 glass of wine a night and it worked, til it ended up being 2 or maybe 3, oops a bottle, oops 3 bottles. Well then I tried 1 glass every other day or just on weekends. So I switched from the red wine to white. That worked for a bit as well, til it didn’t. There is more…I tried all that bargaining and moderating for years and years trying to figure out how I could drink.
I never really looked at why I thought I needed to keep drinking when it made me despise myself, other than everyone was and so I should too and it was just the way life is.
It was REALLY hard for me to give up that idea that drinking was relaxing or a stress relief or adding something positive to my life…a reward.
In the end, all of the moderating, bargaining, rules…none of that worked. Eventually I would wake up from a blackout again and vow x-y-z and begin the cycle again. Hangover, shame, guilt, regret, repeat.
The parts of my recovery plan that did work, included…
Being active on the following apps…
Talking Sober
Reddit r/stopdrinking
Women for Sobriety (WFS)
Soberistas
She Recovers
Putting myself to bed early and often in the early days…sleep, blessed sleep
Being physically active. Walking, running, hiking, fitness classes.
Meditation and guided sleep meditations
Yin yoga to calm my mind, stretch my muscles
Eating a lot of sweets and then after a year and a half, quitting sugar and processed carbs
No wine in house
Journaling
Hot epsom baths or soaking in the hot tub (especially helpful when anxious)
Drinking a LOT of LaCroix, now I drink water
Reading and rereading a LOT of sober memoirs/novels/quit lit
Keeping a list of how I want to live my life/what sobriety offers…I keep it on my phone and when I start thinking, hey, maybe just one glass of wine, I read my list and remember how desperate and suicidal drinking made me.
I keep my focus on today, being sober today…forever is irrelevant to me. Today is the only day I have.
Most importantly, I never stopped quitting AND I found this app when I needed it most.
Eventually, my sober muscles grew, as did my sober toolbox. I learned to put me and my sobriety 1st and that remains true.
I am now 5+ years sober after 40+ years of drinking and a solid 5+ years or more of quitting and relapsing.
Find what works for YOU and do that. Never ever ever stop quitting.
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Simple for me i went to AA way before internet was word ,hard core sobriety i want to stay sober and was willing to give it a try and with a sponsor and a program it does get better and it dosnt become a struggle if you are doing it right it just becomes away of life only difference is you dont drink anymore , desire ,effort and willing to change , keep on trucking
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I can’t tell you how to do sobriety. I can only tell you how I do sobriety, and maybe something that works for me, will also work for you.
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Find an accountability partner…someone who loves you enough to call you out on your B.S.
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Don’t make promises you cannot keep, but keep every promise you make, to everyone including your self.
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Come to TS daily. If you feel like sharing, share. If you feel like commenting in support, comment. Read a bunch and like those that resonate with you.
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Find something to ignite your passions. Could be running, or lifting or hiking. Could be ballroom dancing or bowling. Could be learning a new language or getting a degree or professional certification. Anything, as long as it helps you grow, and doesn’t revolve around drinking.
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Believe you can do it. Lot’s of people live sober lives. If they can do it, you can also.
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What didn’t work: Trying not to drink every day.
What worked: Surrendering to my addiction, admitting defeat. Stopped trying to fight it and got out of the ring.
Changing my relationship with alcohol.
Changing my lifestyle: People, Places and Things
Having a sober network.
Living life, one day at a time.
Forgave myself for being who I am, and most importantly, what I’ve done.
Realizing that, for the most part, life if out of my control, all I can control is how I react.
Also realizing that the person responsible for all my problems is myself.
Making my bed every morning.
Learning to be at peace with who I am, with where I am.
Being uncomfortable.
Meditation.
Learning what is good for and bad for my mental health: avoid the bad and more of the good.
Learning to sit, and just.be.
Of course this didn’t happen all at once, infact it didn’t happen in the first or even second year. It’s the stuff I’m still working on, still practicing. But this is how I got to where I am today.
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