This doesn’t seem alright. This seems like someone who is hurting. I know the feeling. Waiting until a relapse starts isn’t going to help. You have to be proactive in recovery.
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Well I’m trying. Keeping occupied and keeping fit, staying focused. All I can do for now x
Yup. It’s not easy. My first instinct is to call my pals and go out. It was my way of keeping occupied. Now, I know and feel there’s so many other ways to do this. Here to talk if you get those feelings. I’m sure I will too soon.
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What are you trying though? You ask us for suggestions about how to break the cycle but it doesn’t seem like you’re willing to follow the suggestions. As I’m sure you know by now this shit is hard. If it were easy this forum wouldn’t exist. I tried to do it by myself for a long time and it always ended the same. Me in rehab.
Your disease wants to keep you isolated. It tells you everything is ok when your life is going downhill fast. It tells you to not do anything when in reality you need to be doing everything you can to recover.
I’m trying to stay fit, away from distractions, the people who I know are a bad influence, I’m eating well, I’m trying to meditate (a little weird but helps a little). As I said, I am willing to give AA another go and have found my nearest centres to me. Once that urge comes back I will go straight away. All other suggestions have been taken on board and I appreciate it.
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Definitely, I’m here every day.
Meditation is definitely good, as is exercise. But neither of them work on the base causes of our drinking. That’s why an IOP, alcohol counselor or 12 step program is so beneficial. I use meditation each morning, prayer each night and exercising anytime I can and I love them all, but those things alone would not keep me sober.
Hi Steve,
That cycle sounds way too familiar to me. I tried for years to break it on my own and could not. I hear what you are saying about AA. I went for a little while when I was 28. I didn’t get a sponsor, didn’t work the steps…basically I convinced myself that I wasn’t as bad off as most of the people there and that I could manage my drinking on my own.
Well - I’m now 44 and 35 days sober. When I finally, finally realized that I could not break the cycle on my own, I reached out to a friend who has been sober for 23 years. Even though he does not regularly attend meetings anymore, the very first thing he said to me was, “Have you been to an AA meeting? No? Let’s go to one tomorrow. I’ll go with you.”
And we did. And I can say definitively that I would not have 35 days sober without going. There is so much power in the collective history and wisdom of people who go to AA. I feel like I learn more about myself, why I need to stay sober, and gain a little more strength each time I go. Just my two cents worth…
I’m glad you found this app. There are a lot of us parents here who are trying to live better lives for ourselves and our children. Keep checking in, huh? You can do this…
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Congrats on 35 days sober. I hear what you guys are saying and I will attend a meeting tomorrow or this weekend. Much love.
Hey @Stav, try a different AA meeting. Or any meeting. I love some meetings and like others. But i always get something out of them either way. Keep coming back here too!
I too am separated and have 3 kids. I went to treatment 4 separate times - Hazelden in Minnesota twice (famous for having treated Eric Clapton, Robin Williams, etc.); a place in Chicago called the Positive Sobriety Institute that is half 12-step and half cognitive behavioral therapy; and a hospital in Seattle that practices “aversion therapy. I have concluded that the real key is that recovery has to be an inside job. You have to get so sick of the drinking that you don’t pick up the first drink.
I have a new sponsor who read me the riot act for my relapses, and I think a little tough love is what I needed. For me, accountability is key. Not wanting to disappoint someone and having people to call. But your cycle is totally familiar to me, and we all just have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired, until sobriety sticks. I too was lukewarm on AA until I got desperate enough. Go to enough meetings until you find ones that you like. I finally decided recently that I really am done - I hope for good. I don’t want to be that guy who embarrasses his kids.
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