Welcome back! I have a similar back and forth experience with getting sober, doing well, utilizing this site & then backsliding & returning here one month before my 1 yr date
Here is to making this time stick for good & using what we learned from this last go around to add to our tools for future success
Welcome back.
Wecome back 
Welcome back! Nothing to be ashamed of in getting back to TS. Never give up. What’s your plan to get and stay sober?
It’s ok pick yourself up and keep moving! I had 4 years and relapsed for about 6 months on fentanyl. I have 30 days today! You got this! Focus on the future not the past.
Welcome back, I am so glad you returned and posted!! I am sorry about the harsh years between…I know that place…where everything kind of looses its luster and you just plod along in a spiral of drinking / hangover / regret / shame / stop / drinking / hangover / regret / shame / stop…so soul sucking. We make so many promises to our selves and work so damn hard trying to figure out how we can keep drinking in our life and begging to stop drinking…it takes up so much emotional and mental space. A half life.
There is truly a freedom to letting all those mental gymnastics go. To finally saying goodbye to that poison that was killing us physically mentally emotionally spiritually.
Glad you are back and fighting for sobriety. 
You’re back here, sober again, because this is where you are meant to be. God, the Universe, your Higher Power - whatever you’d like to call it - keeps leading you back 
deep down you want to be sober. And, you deserve to be. You deserve to be loved, happy, living life, joyful and free. Admitting the problem is the first part, but there is a lot of work to follow, daily. But, you’re worth it. You are important and you CAN be sober 
you know you can, now, you just gotta do what it takes and move forward with courage and determination. Its hard. I struggle too. But the struggle is worth it, because alcohol is a poison that ruins all the good in and coming our way. Sober life = our best life, always. Xo
One expression of the strength outside myself that keeps me sober is Talking Sober. Welcome back, I’m very glad you’re telling me that the merry-go-round is still operating and it doesn’t get better.
Just reaching out for help, admitting your condition to yourself and us, is a huge step toward serene sobriety. Here’s a thread that I’ve found helpful with actions to take to grow our sobriety. Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
So glad you found the strength and courage within you to make that post - that in itself shows just how much power you have within you to do the hard things, the sometimes scary things, and this strength will bolster you on your way in recovery. Being vulnerable is a superpower in my book! Keep coming back, lean on this place and all of us and share - we can do this together! 