Hi, I’m a 41yo father of 2. I have never had a problem with drink, I go months without drinking but when I do I binge: I drink to get drunk, have black/grey outs and terrible hangovers (which I have always had). I’ve realised I have an unhealthy relationship which alcohol, I need to change it. I want to be able to go out, either not drink or have 2 bottles (I’ve swore off pints) and stop there. I dont want to be hung over again, I dont want to wake up with the beer fear (how did I get home, who was I speaking to etc). I would like to speak to people who have done this
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My attempts at having one or two always end up right where you describe your experience. You probably wont find any how to drink responsibly experts here.
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Same here, im also a binge drinker and i know all the shit you describe: Blackouts, Anxiety (“Beer fear”, great). At the moment, im trying to stop completly, because i failed with moderation and the “Beer fear” became worse the last 3-4 year.
Did you ever tried to moderate? When did you start to binge drink?
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I think that’s the key Shaunjsy. When you’re there, there is no other relationship to alcohol possible. Except for total abstinence. Goes for me anyway. And for everybody on this forum.
My drinking slowly, over decades, went from binging maybe once or twice a week to daily drinking at home in ever increasing amounts and the only choice I had left was death or become sober.
I did use to like a glass of good wine or a single malt whiskey and in the beginning of my sobriety I missed that. Maybe I still do at times but it’s a small price to pay for my life. I couldn’t enjoy those anyway, and day by day less so. I drank to get drunk and not to enjoy the beverage.
This place is called Talking Sober for a reason, and the reason isn’t that the members can drink responsibly. Success in your journey friend.
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I used to drink because I’d reward myself wake up go to work begging for home time no sooner I finished I was in spoons have 2 pints then I’d leave only because I had to drive home but I’d go to the shops grab 4 cans 2 large bottles go home drink them then unfortunately I drank them to quick the shops was still open quick I thought bottle of wine and this was every night I’d wake up to shit everywhere cooking wise 
but this was routine for 7 years ! I lost a lot 2 relationships and 3 children 
but I recently got into a relationship with a girl she hated my drinking she put up with it for 4 months then she snapped kicked me out I later find out she had a alcoholic father and I was bringing back memories she told me everything I felt like shit because I didn’t want to loose another relationship she’s agreed to let me stay 5 nights there till we sort things out I’m on day 9 now she’s supportive I have good days and bad but my advice is don’t worry about what it does to you it’s your body but there are people out there that do love and care about you and if they ain’t enough of a reason to quit then I don’t know what else is I’m by far a expert with so little days behind me but I know we all know drink is a killer good luck in your journey and wish you all the best .
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I think I have always binge drunk since 17yo. I have never been one to drink to relax, drink to destress or have a local pub. But if I am going out with friends for the 1st time in a couple of months I will drink to excess rather than in moderation. I do wonder if I can drink in moderation, if I can’t then I’m prepared for zero drinking. I will just have to learn that having a social drink isn’t the be all and end all. I understand that my issues with alcohol are not as serious as some, it doesn’t impact my home or work life but on the occasions when I do have too much it certainly impacts my own mental state. So, I think I need to evaluate what exactly I get from drinking, at the moment I’m not sure what benefit it brings other than 'it’s what we do, if you follow me. I have friends who don’t drink to excess when we meet up, I’d like to be like that but it may not be possible for me!
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Hi mate, I struggled with calling out my problem as that of an alcoholic because like you I could go a month without drinking no problem, have booze in the house and not touch it, have a bottle on the sofa and go to bed leaving 5 in the fridge.
But! Like you when I go last a point and ‘get on it’ I’m drinking in pilot mode and won’t stop until the options have ran out. Beer fear, panics, hate myself drunk all that horrible shit.
I call myself a binge alcoholic. Some don’t like to split hairs but for me it helps to conceptualise my issue.
Happy to chat any time you like pal. Wish you well on understanding your situation. For me I know I can go a long time managing a couple but ultimately eventually I’ll blow up and get absolutely smashed and be back to all those feelings of dread. The easiest route for me is to live life without booze.
It’s a trade off for some of the pleasent times with moderate drinking and peace of mind completely removing any chance of binge drinking and all that goes with it.
God bless 
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This could be from me…
The question is, do you think you could enjoy this one drink and stop? i tried this, and even managed to drink only one. But i was no joy, i just want to go on.
But its easy to find out: Go to the pub, drink one Beer and then go home (without drinking more st home of course😉). Sounds good for you? To me, it sounds like a torture…My advice, don’t do it. Even if you manage this test, it will not satisfy you…
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I’d probably be the same, I’d likely want to stay out and have to drag myself home but as you say, where is the joy in that
Isnt this the most important part?
As many others state already it will be difficult to have a conversation about drinking in moderation here as most people sharing here aim for becoming sober. It might work out, I hope for some. I gave up on drinking in moderation. I don’t want to control this part of my daily life anymore. Going out in the end meant often to get blackout drunk or leaving early to continue drinking at home. And in the end I skipped the social part all together and only drank at home. I had to question the people I called friends. Where did they go after I quit? I don’t regret having taken this step forward in my life.
I hope you will find what you are looking for here.
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Thanks, if nothing else just talking about it is good. I dont think I could have this sort of conversation with anyone in my life, and certainly not until I know exactly what I actually want from this path. I do get that some people will advocate completely sobriety (and that in the end may be what I want) but even just starting on this path is good for me
Yes, and think it’s a fault imho. The Sobriety-Dogma holds many people back to searching for help. So, they don’t go to the doc because they know he will say:“Stop drinking”. Thats the biggest fear of every alcoholic, you just don’t want to hear that sentence, right?
I think moderation or a time limited sobriety are a good start for problem drinkers. As i did my first dry january, damn, i felt great after. I enjoyed drinking after this. Feburary 1 was a great day… Then i felt bad again soon. And then the thinking began that something is wrong…Its not all black and white
Same here. The only way i could moderate safely is, when i buy a limited amount and then drink it at home while all Pubs/Shops are closed. Its so sad.
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So I went to a retirement do tonight. Drank 3 bottles of zero alcohol beer. Now this was a relatively easy win: its Tuesday night, I drove and my mates weren’t there but even when ribbed a little for not drinking I didn’t waiver. And didn’t feel odd not drinking
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I think it is great that you are aware that there may be a problem with drinking. You are realising that you may well not be a “normal drinker”. To properly step back and look at your relationship with booze takes strength and honestly and I salute you for doing this! Only you know if you have a problem. It took me a few years of being aware of my relationship with alcohol to actually say, enough is enough! I myself can not just have one. So I decided that if I can’t just have one then I will have none. I must tell you… the feeling of freedom that comes with not being chained to the constant thoughts of where and when I will drink is liberating! I think you are doing a great thing in looking at YOUR relationship with a highly addictive substance.
I think this is spot on 
And I wish you all the very best 
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Alot of people can drink moderately and control themselves, they dont find it necessary to try and control or stop because its not a problem. Most of us are here because we know that is not possible and we have to avoid drink all together, for me its allowing myself just to have one that will get me blindsided and possibly put me in the the ground. We usually know if its a problem long before we turn down that road but just keep on driving like down a dead end street eventually we read the signs and seek out help. Glad to see you here. 
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