Life of a binge drinking alcoholic

Continuing the discussion from I have slipped after 3 years and I'm so scared and angry:

Hi, was just chatting on a thread about my recent slip up after a long time and the term “binge alcoholic” came up!

It’s interesting because I remember a big part of my struggle was fighting myself on whether I’m an alcoholic or not because I’ve always been a binge drinker. Very easy to convince yourself you are not an alcoholic when your pattern alcohol abuse is like this because you are often more days not drinking then are, society’s stereotype of an alcoholic is someone that drinks daily, you can often abstain for say a month rather easy.

But yet none of that stops the fact that alcohol is ruining your life, that your next binge could end with been locked up in a police cell, that you could isolate friends and family, spend money you can’t afford, miss commitments, cause depression, illness etc etc etc.

The binge alcoholic is a painful lonely road just like the daily drinker and it has its own challenges that come with that pattern.

I just thought it would maybe make for an interesting thread because I can imagine their are many on this forum that fit the type of pattern that best describes a binge alcoholic and would make a good topic of discussion.

Now before anyone reminds me, I know that we are all alcoholics and it’s the same illness regardless but we do have different patterns and sometimes it’s useful to discuss these.



When I went through the steps of the big big there was a part explaining the different types of alcoholism types of people I mean but all alcoholic I have a brain that tells me I’m not an alcoholic but when I put boose into my body it sets off an allergy that I can’t control that wants more and more and more it will only be circumstances that’s stops me drinking money,getting arrested,waking up in hospital it’s a good topic :+1:t2:


I feel so sorry for my wife and family because they naturally feel like I don’t care about them worrying, being upset etc but how do you explain to someone who doesn’t have this illness that means when you are in drink you are not in control of your own mind and it’s not a case of not caring about your family at home but you simply are not at the wheel of your mind and are just a fucking passenger.


The only power we have from alcohol is keeping away from that first drink I go to meetings work the steps pray meditation listen to podcast about soberity go to the gym try to just stay positive I know I was doing things I wasn’t suppose to be doing and I stopped putting the work in so basically I’ve had a kick up the arse it’s what I needed just trying to turn it into a positive and not let it happen again what’s done is done all about the future now



I just said to my wife this morning I’ve not taken any mindfulness and meditation for months. Haven’t been going to church because my gran hasn’t been up to it who I usually take but of course it’s good for me also.

I’ve been feeling angry, had a chip on my shoulder with people and generally not been in great with other people and my interactions with them.

This stuff is important to me because it’s the cocky arrogant part that can convince me I’m ok to drink and “enjoy myself”. The side of me that cares for others and does not dismiss peoples feelings is the voice of most reason for myself


I was a binge drinker for a long time. The idea of drinking daily didn’t appeal at all. But when my husband had a night shift, and the next day at work was not too bad, I would drink to black-out.
It was kinda acceptable in uk for young people, so I use that as an excuse, even tho I had kids. So lucky there was never an emergency after they were asleep. And I remember getting so angry at them if they didn’t sleep quickly when I wanted to drink. So neglectful.



I was the same and have been for YEARS. looking back it was obvious I had a problem, I even remember my friends saying to me that I drank too much after nights out when the would have to carry me home.
But like you, I’d think, well I dont drink every day. I wouldnt even drink every week. But when I did, I could never stop until I was blackout drunk.
I’d stop for months at a time but everytime I did drink it always ended the same way.
Then I realised, every single bad thing I have done in my life has when I’ve been drunk, it’s not the real me, the real me is kind and conscientious, yeah not perfect and I’ve said some things “in the moment” in my time but never, when sober, have I done the things I have done when drunk. It’s like I disappear and this other “thing” takes over and it doesn’t care what gets in the way of its desires, not even my very own morality… but did it stop me going on a bender whenever I wanted? Nope.

Fast forward a few years later, those “binges” started to condense from one Friday night into friday and Saturday, or friday Saturday and sunday, or Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday… it didnt matter the day, didnt matter if it was a weekend. Whatever day, when I drank I couldnt stop and it wasnt just for that ONE day, it would go on for days until money ran out or I just felt too ill and the responsibilities were stacked too high for me to be able to continue… cue two days of feeling awful, trying to patch my life and sense of self worth back together… I’d make it, only just. But then the following week, or fortnight, whatever. The cycle would start again. Only for tonight I’d tell myself… 2-3 days later I’m back to trying to patch my life back up again.

I’d often find that when starting a binge it was a little bit like falling off a strict diet.
Say you REALLY like chocolate, but for a whole month you told yourself you couldnt have any… then one day, you decide to have a mini Mars bar out of a multi pack… you just gonna stop at that one mini bar?? No of course not you’re gonna eat the whole f’ing bag, and fast too :laughing: well binging was a bit like that for me… now I know I just have to stay away from that first “Mars bar”. :fist:

(And a whole host of other things, staying away from the drink is only a small part of this whole equation, but it’s the most important)


So so familiar. I can relate to lots on this thread, but Jen, you’re telling my story. I was a party girl turned professional and social drinker (with periods of sobriety, like you described) turned binge weekend drinker turned binge whenever for extended periods. Ultimately, I was so in the hole spiritually and my mental health a mess that I drank just to cope. At that point I wasn’t even necessarily binge drinking all the time, but just when my anxiety was spiking, and that became the norm a some point. I equate it now to the frog in the boiling pot - I didn’t see how bad things would get until it was suddenly terrible. How I ever coped with worsening withdrawal symptoms blows my mind now.

I’ve had some really good periods of sobriety in the last couple years but I’ve had difficulty committing :100: and have fallen prey to the “just one” idea a few times. Luckily for me, it hasn’t escalated but I truly am lucky. Plus I’ve learned quite a lot and applied what I’ve learned. I feel I’m finally at a turning point to accept that I am an alcoholic. At the very least, I never want to go back to how things were. Sorry for the ramble, and thanks @Quinny251 for starting this thread. There needs to be more awareness of different types of disordered use of substances and how truly progressive the disease of addiction is.


That’s also a problem for people in the UK. Boozing is part of our national culture and being pissed beyond belief is seen throughout the whole of society.

When I was in the army it was expected of you :man_facepalming:t3:.

I know I felt so lucky my boys never saw me come in aftery slip on Friday. Children are often victims of addiction and many would say that’s the root cause of there own additions


Well this is it. And I would hear people talking about it being a “progressive illness” and never really understood what that meant… until the past two years when it has indeed been progressing, strangely though. Not until I decided to do something about it. It kinda got worse each time I decided to stop, when I would return to it it was always harder, like in the way i described falling off the diet. Or maybe, just because I was more aware of it it seemed worse? Because I knew, deep down what was actually going on rather than drinking blindly…

I’ve been thinking today about my first attempt at sobriety, and how arrogant I was over it :sweat_smile: theyll be some threads on here somewhere I’m sure… I could do it on my own, it had only taken me that one attempt, dont ya know :laughing: all I had to do was wake up one morning and decide no more and that was it. Me on my my own taking a stand, a decision that would last a life time… yeah right :sweat_smile: 10 months I lasted, on my own, “white knuckling” as I now know they call it… when I returned I went harder than ever, even started taking Bezos at one point… how did that happen? I went from white as snow good and triumphant down to the deepest darkest shit pit I’ve ever been in in a matter of months… climed out of that, eventually, lasted 6 months and now, this time around I’m on my knees and humbled.
Who’s to say those 2-3 days I would drink wouldnt have turned into 4-5 then 6-7, then every day. I think it would have done eventually, maybe once I’d lost everything and had nothing else to lose. I think every “daily” drinker starts in the same way. Not one of us thought that by drinking once a week we would end up where we did, but we did, somehow…


The most important because without the drink the rest goes away?

For me I’ve never sniffed cocaine sober, or smoking cigarettes or fighting (well when I was in the wrong at least) or infidelity. Everything’s root cause is alcohol for me.


Thanks for sharing. Yes I fully agree I think sometimes people who are binge drinking alcoholics or at that stage often lose the battle with their mind because they don’t find a lot of stuff relatable.

I always felt like that about AA. It has helped millions so not for one second am I saying anything negative about it but for me the stories didn’t relate and that added to me telling myself I’m not a alcoholic


Absolutely same for me. Like, WTF does that mean?! Well I sure as hell get it now. And my first real attempt at sobriety sounds like yours though I only lasted a month. Then went back out for about 5 months, came back to try again and got just short of 6 months, that time though I started to realize I needed help but I still thought I could “research” and apply what I learned myself. Yeah, not so much. Therapy and meetings are what have been game changers for me, though I am pretty passive about meetings and mostly attend virtual ones, just being present in a group where people know my name and I vocalize that I’m an alcoholic has shifted things for me. I am a bit slow in buying in completely to the ideology of AA but there is so much good to gain and nothing to lose. And therapy is a slow slog at the moment but I’m starting to see benefits.

I know for a fact if I binge again I’ll be down the rabbit hole in a hot second. I don’t ever want to feel that way again and the cool part is I don’t have to and neither do any of us.


I’m glad you’re here.

I can relate to this. But I’m willing to try and I think that’s what counts. Take what you need and leave the rest - all these sayings I used to roll my eyes at are now resonating more often than not.


Thanks :blush: I’m happy to be here.

I know what you both mean about not being able to relate… but (I’ve only been once so far) I can tell (for me)from what they’re saying that their story COULD be me one day. And I think that’s the point? Like I’m not where some of those people have been yet, but I’m edging towards it and one day if I don’t get a grip on this their stories will be mine and I dont want that. It doesn’t have to go that far. I’ve always has an inclination towards god/higher power even though I was never brought up with any religion, (maybe it was the schools I went to? :thinking: lords prayer and all that. )Anyway, because of that I find all the “god” side of it kinda comforting which I’m glad about as I know from reading on here that’s something some people struggle with.


I believe in God and attend church so that’s not an issue for me.

I used some SMARY RECOVERY stuff which really helped me.

This naked mind was a good read, although the money she charges for her classes is rediculous but hey that America.

I’m reading the easy way to control alcohol by Alan Carr atm. Someone else recommended a book to me yesterday.

This community is amazing tbf. It’s a positive social media amongst a lot of shit on the internet.

I have been into mindfulness and meditation which has helped me.

But all the things I listed I have dropped off lately and the reason why I slipped on Friday after years. Someone from the AA would maybe say thats because I didn’t have the AA programme. I would say it’s because I never worked all the tools I’ve listed above that worked for me.

Ultimately their is no right and wrong just whatever works to give someone sobriety that’s it.


This. I absolutely agree with you.


Yeah, I am not even in the uk anymore, but still used it as justification.
One of my biggest fears is I passed on / modeled behavior and my kids will become addicts.

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It’s engrained in the fabric of our society. It’s shown through media via music and film. It’s not just tolerated but celebrated.
We are told that every aspect of life from birth of a baby to death of a loved one is accompanied by the drink.

I’ve seen some stuff on how childhood trauma leads to addiction by Gabor Mate. I can see that for sure but is it guaranteed, no I don’t think so.


i’m also a binger too. must be so nice to have a drink or 2 and stop after that!