Hypocrisy.
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Defensiveness
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Rejection sensitivity affecting EVERY area of my life lol
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Resentfulness.
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Perfectionism
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Selfishness.
Can’t seem to shake this. Been doing my prayer/meditation and meetings but can’t seem to shake this.
I know it’s an ego thing and feeling I need to be seen and heard, but goddamn is it hard on other people. I’m not holding space for my partner and it’s causing conflict.
Looking for some experience, strength and hope here.
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Sounds like you’re doing all the right things,…prayer, meditation and meetings. Maybe pick up the phone and talk to another alcoholic? I got nothing else.
I’ve been experiencing something similar with my husband. His ego keeps getting in the way. All I want is to be heard, but rather than just listening, he offers advice that I don’t want or need. He feels he has to fix everything, whereas all I want to do is vent. This causes me to shut down and then comes the resentment. We’re definitely a work in progress. Relationships are fucking hard.
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ah man-- the ego is a beast and not really sure how to get it in check.
I do try to hold my tongue more these days. wait to listen to what others are saying and try to treat it like a debate almost – see it from all angles and then reply.
You are doing all the right things with your prayer, meditation and meetings. Finding a way to surrender is the hardest thing to do and ego is a biggie - it has a hold on the majority of us.
Try weighing out your conversation when you are in it so see if your answer is worth its response. Its not an easy task and sometimes i find my tongue is so much faster than my mind.
Hoping this made sense and offered some help. 
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I can relate D, the defect I usually fall into though is being defensive. When I try to battle this wounded part of my psyche she fights back 10 fold. Therapy has taught me to quiet that deep need I have to have my idea acknowledged or to be validated, by reminding myself that I am not having a conversation with my father. When I feel myself start to get defensive most times I can get some bilateral communication going between that wounded part and the wiser part of me. I find taking a moment with myself helps and then applying some compassion and curiosity. “What am I feeling?” “What do I need?” When I can return to my partner in a less defensive place and have a few answers to my questions it can open up some great communication. I then apply humility, “I need help, i am having a hard time with feeling defensive right now and I have figured out its because of x,y,z.”
I find these words work well, he is always open to helping me figure my shit out especially when I am admitting I am powerless and I cant do it alone.I am so, grateful my partner is in recovery because he gets it and although he is not used to having open communication like we have he is learning, we both are, we all are.
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You gave me something to think about . I just recently found out I have breast cancer . Since this reality ithas caused me to react by using.You say you lost control of health. I just realized that I can control when I use instead of something out of control, like my tests, and appts . I need the to address this . It’s my sick mind making me think I’m in control and I’m not. That’s the whole point.
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Oh the biggest ones for me must be ego and self pity.
I’m constantly talking about change without ever actually trying and complaining when that doesn’t work.
Multiple stints in therapy and the only thing I ever took away from that was an ego boost.
Yes, that’s exactly what therapy is for. 
Good job, you baffoon. 
As for ego: neediness and making my self worth dependent on other people. Those are the biggest offenders there imo.
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Manipulation
I really want to try to justify my way out of this one, but it is what it is. I am hurt. I want to feel better, so I control the situation through manipulation, trying to ease my pain. Does it work? Fuck no, now both of us are hurting and I owe an amends.
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Perfectionism with a dash of anger
1 Like