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Thanks so much mate, appreciated! Felt like the first two months dragged forever but now we’re in full flow! Lol! Onwards and upwards hey 
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Wow, dude. That’s a load of 
. Lue knows we can use all the help we can get!
Thinking I didn’t need any more help bought me a years-long, full blown relapse.
Ah well, glad you’re with us, man.
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Darn skippy! Keep on flying like a bird, yo. 
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Amen to that mate! Lol! Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday, word up! 
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I’m glad you’re with me too.
Today is scary for me and it’s not even the hard part yet. This is just the preliminary scary.
I wish I had more to offer you guys than just my problems.
Hopefully, reading about my shit-show life reminds people why we must stay sober.
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It’s unfair that men can wait and women can’t 
You could just not be ready… 31 is still young for a man. It is limiting to a certain degree, but every phase of raising a child is only temporary. My ex-husband was 31, when I got pregnant unexpectedly. His initial reaction was an angry one (out of fear), even though we were already married and had planned on having kids one day… or I had for us and he was just going along with it. Anyway… he absolutely loves being a father and our two boys very much. It is a very hard, stressful and challenging job at times, but very rewarding. I’m the type that needs a lot of downtime/alone time and my ex helped to make that happen occasionally. And once we separated I figured out how to get it in the early mornings and evenings. They make my home a home… they make us a family. It’s hard imagining life without them now.
Now I’m not telling you to have kids if you’re still unsure whether or not you want them, but just know- no one is really ready to have them when they do decide they want to have them one day. I just wish I had known what I know now about alcoholism, before having mine
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I am so bad with routines. I saw this a while ago and thought it was brilliant.
Actually needed to be reminded of this today, thank you! 
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Aww, this makes my heart happy!! I am SO glad you two met up and chatted!
@Dejavu, yes, lets be more careful with your texting! I was on the edge of my seat while scrolling today, waiting for the update there! Phew!!!
@charlie hugs and strength to you, never give up!
Happy 9 months today @hotic!
Nicely done @ifs, very very proud of you my friend!!! Often times doing those things works out better than we imagined so thanks for the reminder!
@anon31131955, I listened to something yesterday that explained a farmer would not plant his seeds and go out tomorrow to yell at them & tell them to hurry up because they haven’t sprouted yet. That stuck with me! Let’s plant our seeds & enjoy the sprouting, growing & harvesting knowing the fruit is coming. 
Feel better soon Tomi @Mephistopheles!!!
@anon84416494, Josh I think I missed your 1 year! HUGE congrats!!! What’s your favorite change so far?!?
@anon12657779, 11 months!!! So happy for you!! Watching your growth has really been a pleasure Geoff, I love this post and am glad you’re here.
@TMAC, Tristan, soooo many hugs to you!!! I have full faith all will work out as it should. I can tell you that if I had waited until I was “ready”, I would never have had kids lol. They are often worth the sacrifices with all the amazing things they bring into your life…it really hasn’t been much of a sacrifice but more of a big enhancement & blessing really now that I think about it. Not that I want to pressure you at all, I know you will find your own way but I just wanted to share my experience with my boy! Now he’s graduating high school this year, I can’t believe how fast the time has flown but I would absolutely do it all again.
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Are you able to continue with IOP?
Sending all the best vibes your way friend 
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I’m gonna try. Right now the lead counselor is resubmitting it to the insurance company with new information that could help.
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It’s so great to walk this road with you @anon12657779 - we will all face our scary things together! We got this !
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Thanks Mandi, it’s nice to see you. It always lovely to see you when you pop in.
So glad that you are taking life by the horns girl, and riding it like a pro!
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So I NEEEEVEER wanted to have kids. Like not even on the radar. Maybe because my parents divorced when I was 9 and knowing my own parents were far from perfect. Being the genius I am, I never talked to the wife about it either when we were dating. We got married at 34? I think. So after a year she brings the idea up. I told her I never planned on it, but wasn’t against it. I suppose in the back of my mind I always thought she’d probably want one. She has a brother and I have a sister. So we both come from pretty average size familys.
Sooooo, my thinking was that I would be a terrible parent, but that my wife would be a perfect mother. Im still not sure why she decided to say yes to marrying me.
We weren’t getting any younger. I was just thinking that we are going to be close to retirement when they’re off to college… Am I going to be able to keep up? Will I have energy to play with them after work or riding? We’re already super busy, how are we going to deal with a baby. I’m a selfish SOB, this would be a massive change for me.
I’m naturally indecisive but I just said fuck it, lets do it. I had to be all in and am.
So, just like drinking. I always found a way to drink, and we have managed to keep the kids alive
Right now my daughter is 6 and my son 3 so right at the age you’re talking about, but the truth is that every age or day has its own challenge and its own rewards. Of course there were some nights with garbage sleep, and some attitude, tantrums, and there’s plenty more in store. There is nothing I’d do differently though. They are beautiful little turds. They make me smile bigger and make me happier than I’ve ever been, and angrier. Ha!!
I am terrible with writing out my thoughts since they’re all over the place, but the bottom line is that I think your concerns about having a child are pretty normal. I think it might take a little longer for guys to bond with kids too since we don’t go throught he whole birth process.
If you truly don’t want kids that’s cool too. Thats ignoring the gf in all of this though.
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Checking in on Day 70. Lots of stuff on my mind the past few weeks. Trying hard to stay on the workout grind. I hate that I have these surges of motivation in the middle of the day when I can’t do anything. Been going back and forth in my mind about my bands, and the fact that I’m basically showing up to shows, playing, and leaving immediately after. It’s both as a safeguard for my sobriety, but I’m also just kind of tired of playing right now. I’ve been playing shows since '96, and the longest “break” I’ve had was 4 months, about 8 years go, when I was between bands…I’m just tired.
Either way, today makes 70 days sober, and ultimately, that’s what I’m stoked on the most. I’m sure I’ll have more to say about the stuff racing around in my mind, but I’ll save that for when I’m not at work.
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I dunno. Personally, I hear more solutions than problems in what you share, @MrCade. And that’s appreciated!
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My mother spoke nothing but hatred towards my dad. She made things very difficult in that respect. Would always give me a hard time when I went to see his side of the family on holidays and whenever.
I am definitely aware of the divorce rate, and kids do put a strain on things. I think that if things aren’t right with the wife in the first place than it’s not going to be any better bringing kids into the mix, but I think things can usually be worked out with the help of therapists and counslers. Not always, though.
The future is the future. I just keep focused on today with the kids and handling each day with them and the wife as it comes. The only thing I think about future wise is their college funds and making sure they put me in a nice old folks home if I make it to that age!!
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Oh, and I forgot. You mentioned about it being like the last stage of adulthood. It’s almost like the opposite. You get to be a kid again. Build blanket forts, play with toys and all kinds of good shit.
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Checking in on day 52…it’s been a pink cloud day! Got loads done and even managed a sesh in the gym… night all! Xx hope you’re all staying strong sober family x
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