Not to mention how kids remind you constantly to be in the moment! Also, I am not sure it’s the same for dads (but I imagine it is) the love you have for your kid(s) is like none other and words cannot describe it!!!
2 Likes
edit - deleted for privacy
16 Likes
Checking in.
The depression lifting a little, I still have more questions than answers right now causing anxiety. Focused on checking in this morning and staying sober today first. Simplifying the day working on completing the tasks needed to get me through today successfully. Hoping throughout the day the depression continues to lift, I miss finding laughter and passion in my life right now.
11 Likes
Definitely!!
Day 212. Feeling low today. Poor sleep the last few nights. Bday coming up on Sunday. Missing my dad like crazy. It’s been 31 years since I last saw him. Would love to call him up and chat about life. Maybe I will do it through prayer.
It’s been really rainy here. Not to worried about my first sober bday. I quit the last 2 October’s (2017/2018) right after my bday to test the waters of sobriety but never fully wanted to until last March 2019.
Anyways rambling and looking forward to a weekend away with my husband and daughter. I have decided that a mini trip for my bdays going forward is in order.
Trust the journey.
22 Likes
Day 338
This is a helluva busy week.
I’m grateful that I can spend it in meetings and not in jail, but man is my schedule loaded.
better than me getting loaded though:+1:
IOP is going well. The insurance came back around and funded 13 meetings.
Court went ok yesterday. Next date is Nov 18th. I can appreciate that because it allows me time to work as well as collect documents that strengthen my case.
My wife is grieving the loss of hope. I’m still talking to doctors about my situation but I know she’s pretty much giving up. All I can do is show up and be there for her. She has all of my love and patience for as long as she needs.
27 Likes
Hey sorry dont know to say that will help, but I’m thinking of you, this sounds like lots of deep and tough stuff to be working through. We all here for you 
4 Likes
Your doing so well to keep a level head despite all the turmoil happening around you, such a legend. I’m truely sorry for you and your wife, having 7 battling infertility, I get how deep that hurts.
5 Likes
Aaaw @Frantasticooo you always know how to brighten my day. Thanks.
I’m giving it all up to my HP.
3 Likes
- Covered part of someone’s shift yesterday evening (7-11 pm). When I clocked out I thought to myself: gas and grocery money for one week
I was able to do the usual evening routine with my kiddos and work a few extra hours without much guilt. With my recent pay increase and upcoming evaluation (another pay increase) I’m starting to think I can keep this up and keep my home. I pretty much chickened out at the Dr.’s appt regarding anti-depressants yesterday. We talked about it and she had her medication recommendations and scripts available if I change my mind. She also lowered the dose of my birth control, to see if it would help alleviate the emotional symptoms I experience occasionally 
… even though she doesn’t think this is my issue. I’m sure it’s a combination of stress/PAWS/sleep deprivation/BC side effects, etc., but it seems like a few of these things have improved this week, so… I’m holding out. Anywho… that’s what’s up 
Hope everyone is enjoying their 
day!! 
26 Likes
Day 32. Just came back home from a few day get away to celebrate a friend. It was the first time I’ve been around booze in 32 days. Everyone was drunk. It was so hard. I spent most of the time hiding out in a bathroom stall or outside alone. I am normally the girl out on the dance floor but my social anxiety wont allow it unless I’m buzzed. I counted down the hours until the party was over. I was drained from faking happy. Now that I am home incant stop crying. I feel so depressed. Dont get me wrong, I am so happy I didn’t drink. Every thing is just so different and the adjustment is difficult.
Lots of 
to everyone.
29 Likes
80 days sober.My sisters surgery went well.
GRATEFUL!
21 Likes
Just have to say here buddy, I know what you need in your life… A kiddo!
Give you meaning and direction straight away!
Just saying! 
And you won’t have time to think about anything else!
5 Likes
This 
right here. All that feeling lost I totally relate to, and for me this is at the root of it.
When I’m getting that caught up in myself I’ve been learning it’s 100% time to get the f— out of my head and spend time being there for others. Find something, anything, that’s not for me and commit to it.
Like, anything. Call friends/family and ask how their day’s going or do something nice for them. Check some stuff off the to-do list I swore to at work or at home. For me, going down to a meeting to talk with other drunks or volunteer for something.
It took a while to get comfortable with. But in getting the focus off of me, I get two things. 1) Distance from my own thoughts and back in the moment. 2) Weirdly some kind of perspective. Like… just in being with others I remember/feel the motivation I lose track of when I’m spiraling around things on my own.
On the other side of all that I find the next right thing, what really brings peace, becomes clearer. Y’know… usually. 
And as always, YMMV.
You mentioned wanting to think fast. I presume a few days or even weeks would probably be okay though, yeah?
14 Likes
Thank you. I have no urge to drink here. I’m more worried about when I get home. The challenge for me here as other years is the anxiety with being around so many other people and I always feel deficient. It’s odd to explain, but these meetings are very clique and I’m always paranoid. Making Plans for when I get home to stay busy. Really appreciate your support and responses.
4 Likes
Checking in, Day 445
24 Likes
Day 355. Feeling rather distant from the forum lately, so may take a little break. Not sure if I’ve just been busy or if I’m isolating. I’ll still be on PMs if anyone wants to chat, but I think I’m going to otherwise take a little step back and refocus my mind. 
33 Likes
I’ve been feeling the same. Not sure if it’s the season or the anniversary or what. 
5 Likes
I meant that I know I will have an urge to drink. But I won’t. I’m booking meetings and activities for when I get home. Gonna stay busy.
4 Likes
Day 5
Still standing. Haven’t gone this long without a single drink in I dont even know how long. Before I had cut back…now I know I was kidding myself. Took magnesium for sleep…I think that helped.
I talked again with my local AA contact yesterday. Maybe will go to a meeting. I’m such an introvert that one is hard for me.
Wishing I could have a sleep day but then again home all day wouldnt help with cravings anyway.
Work party this weekend that I cant not not go to. Dreading Saturday. Reading up on avoiding alcohol in social settings. Thinking about writing “Not today” in teeny tiny letters on my wrist as a quiet reminder. A temp tattoo for the day. It feels so good to put my kids to sleep at night…read…clean…sleep and not wake up with a headache needing coffee. I am even cutting back a little on the need for coffee, it’s like in my mind the 2 where somehow connected.
Have a beautiful sober day all wherever you are.
15 Likes