You know where hope gets you. Plan and just get to bed sober today.
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I typically only have one cup of coffee a day but that one cup is a must have. I giggled at coffee or ugly. 
I hope it doesn’t come to that! Sounds like you have a solid plan though. Keep taking it one day at a time!
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I have no sponsor Derek. I know folks find help in AA or an other A. And I know there are agnostics and atheists that find help in it too. Not for me now though. Peer meetings help me but I can’t get my head wrapped around a program that uses the word God time and time again. I can’t read around that and I don’t want to read around that. I’m on my own road to recovery. With help from my fellow human beings. Help that I’m not afraid to ask for and help that I find in many places.
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16 days of recovering!
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You have a nice way of translating the steps into a “normal” language (and for simple people like me). Could you describe step 4 for me that way?
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This one is a little tougher, but basically I identified areas of problems in my life and then identified my part in them
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Day 49! Checking in.
Last night at 12:30 am I was able to take my son to urgent care for a breathing treatment due to asthmatic episode. And be up prior to that giving inhaler and then steam shower…all the tricks to avoid going to a 24 hr urgent care.
I am so guilty feeling…just at the thought that 2 mos ago I would have probably been maybe too drunk to drive and would have made my husband do it, to drunk to have the level of compassion and reassurance needed to be present in those hours. I’m glad to have had this happen last night as it is a good reminder of why these days of hanging on and staying sober matter.
Thanks for listening. I am so thankful to each one of you…reading your stories has helped tremendously in this journey!
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I’m not trying to change your mind, but I’m always curious as to why people are so against the word God. Is there a particular reason it bothers you?
Yes, it definitely is a tough one. To go through. Thank you 
Have a great sober weekend. You can do it. And every other weekend will be so much easier. Saturday and Sundays are just normal days. And you will be so proud to wake up sober. Excited to hear about your sober Weekend when it is over 
I feel the same way. It’s like me being a vegetarian. I don’t mind picking the meat off of something occasionally, but if I had to pick the meat off every time to get to the food I did want to eat…well, just no. I will find somewhere else to eat. 
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We’re humans and as humans we should manage our stuff. Together. We share a common responsibility towards our planet and towards each other. There’s nothing above us or below us for that matter. All we have is this earth and each other. I don’t need any notion of a higher power or a god to remind me of that, and I think any notion of a deity or a Plan outside of ourselves distracts from that. The idea of god, of any god, is a human invention. It isn’t based upon any fact. And because of that it is so easy to abuse for inhuman purposes. Science has many shortcomings but at least it’s aimed at finding some truth.
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Day 3 sober
you are right. @Girlinterrupted I could die trying to be sober. I hope never give up and fight until the end but I hope too to reach total sobriety. I really hope that for all of us.
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Hi @Girlinterrupted join the club, today is my day 5 without real coffee. I’m drinking decaf in the mornings now, but that’s definitely not the same 
Today I was at a shop and they offered me a coffee. I allmost said yes out of a habit. Then I remembered 
No coffee for me!
But your relapse coffee dream makes me smile, didn’t had that one 
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If coffee has no side effects for you, please continue 
But it makes me irritated and nervous, so time to quit!
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If your fitbit has a heartbeat tracker too you can see your heart rate dropping down because of the not drinking! That’s also encouraging (at least it was for me ).
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This topic actually came up in my group therapy last night. One client was remarking on how another client had annoyed him yesterday, but then redeemed himself today. It opened up a pretty lengthy discussion that was very constructive.
The gist of it was; we’re all here to stay sober and that requires us to be selfish. It requires us to share things, honestly, regardless of how it lands with others in the group. As long as we all respect each other’s right to share, and we don’t devolve into arguments or accusations, it’s all good.
Working your sobriety with others won’t always be happy, fun or pretty but if we’re helping eachother stay sober, that doesn’t matter.
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@SoberWalker haha. I got a kick out of my relapse coffee dream too
I take a caffeine pill when I wake up, but it’s just not the same. There is something sacred about my morning coffee. Damn rosacea. I’m going to reintroduce it maybe in a month. If my face gets worse then fml. Maybe I’ll just become a red faced recluse and drink all the coffee I want
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@Bomdhil yeah, you really can die trying, and no one who loves you wants that. It was close for me the last few times and detox was terrifying. It gets worse every time. Are you trying something different this time? I think last year, if I remember correctly, you were trying to get in IOP? Something of the like. Is there something you have that can help? I know you have it in you.
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Day 69.
Have had some lapses in judgement and have willingly engaged in middle circle behaviors the past couple of days. Woke up feeling my heart racing as my wife and some drove off to the ymca. I got on a telemeeting and drank some coffee in peace while I listened and shared. We talked about the 10th step. It made me think about how easily I can forget the pain my addictive behavior causes. It also made me realize how much those hurtful and inconsiderate things I do are so simply justified out of righteousness.
Long way to go but I took a step in the right direction today. Going to journal later and remind myself of all the relationships I’ve destroyed. Pointing fingers and whining about who is at fault doesn’t get me anywhere. It’s my responsibility to grow from the pain instead of hide from it
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