Day 26 and I thought things would start to get better or a bit easier…wishful thinking I guess!
Ah, @Joey1, not total wishful thinking. My experience is even sober there are tough days. Just how I respond to them changes.
The first month or two things inside were still leveling out. Lol, even today.
Hey, coming up on one month though, so good for you! Those days do get fewer and farther between each day sober. Sorry this was a rough one but hope you’re hanging in there!
@Joey1, seconding @Eke here. It’s up and down for a while Im afraid. But being aware that this can happen is half the battle. At least when it does you just shrug and say
“oh well, it’s one of those days I see!”
Accept it and move on.
Takes a lot to come here and talk about this, Tristan. And dunno what to say.
I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist again the past several months after identifying with a lot of what I hear others saying (this share included), but with all the same concerns. A very close, normie family member’s life was also saved in part by a prescription.
It’s a tool. Maybe not to be taken lightly, but a tool that can save a life. Is life likely to slip into a malaise and drinking without it? Can I be very honest with my doctor and work out an appropriate plan? Can I continue to be accountable to them and maybe another no matter what? I can answer these for exactly no one but me.
My own doc has so far been offering alternative therapies (that remind me of my program, lol, including honestly meditating on the daily) stating on the outside all signs indicate its working. But we keep at it and keep checking in to see how it goes…
Thank you for the support I got today. It helped. Seeing my friend’s 18 year old twins was heart-wrenching. For me personal it was good to be at the memorial. I didn’t get the chance to see her after she suffered a stroke. Her dying of heart failure last week prevented us ever meeting again. Cycling to the memorial through the village where she was born I thought I saw her walking and I half expected to see her standing in the doorway to welcome me to her own memorial.
But seeing her kids, her brothers, her parents, her and mine friends all gathered, and putting a flower on her casket made it real for me. Talking to her aunt helped who told me that terrible happenings like this should teach us to live life now and to the full. How right she is.
I’m still sad but I think I can move forward. And again I learned that whatever happens there is no need or use to try to numb the truth by stupid drinking or smoking. Life is much better lived sober. Love from Susanne and me in Broek in Waterland.
I was diagnosed with ADHD back in middle school, and it never eased up. It sounds like your struggle with the symptoms is much the same as mine. I’ve come off meds a few times over the years for various reasons, usually trying to run from internalized stigma around stimulant medication, and it has always cost me. I spend the whole day fighting the symptoms you mentioned, and cringe when someone asks me “what did you do today” because honestly I was just fighting tooth and nail to get ultimately nothing done.
Like @Eke said, it’s one of the tools out there. Some people are able to relieve the symptom burden of ADHD to an acceptable level with non-pharmaceutical approaches. I have not really been able to do so over the years I’ve spent off meds. For me the issue was that the effect of the approaches I tried was small and limited to specific symptoms. There’s so much more to ADHD than just attention. There are plenty of people who do benefit a lot from non-pharmaceutical therapies, and it’s certainly worth exploring first, but it doesn’t always quite do the job in the end.
Because stimulants have been part of the addict brain for you in the past, it’s worth examining the expectations or hopes you might have for it. For example, even though it may relieve direct symptoms, it may not result in you being happier after all, or you may still not end up with the will to socially interact at the end of the day. Though based on past experience, these are extrapolations, which may make it harder for you to tell if you are simply hoping, or if part of you is chasing.
If it were me, I’d exhaust whatever non-stimulant options your doctor thinks reasonable before considering stimulants at all. You may end up with medication that works and just sidestep this whole issue.
Hmm, this is getting long and I may just PM you with the rest of my thoughts. Thanks for sharing!
Day 297. I hate shopping. Combined with the fact that I’ve lost almost 30lbs in the last 18 months, I’ve been wearing clothes 2+ sizes too big for a while now. Yesterday I went shopping and bought a bunch of new stuff that actually fits. Yay me. What an unexpected confidence boost.
