Day 6 Let’s do THIS! Happy Sober Saturday everyone! Enjoy your day.
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Yes. Yes, we are
@Wunderbar I think I know what got muted. I stepped away from a thread I’d been following because it left me with feelings of futility. Mixed feelings about that as well.
Day 169
An email from a company that is getting $2400 worth of my business for teeth aligners contained the sentence, ”I will check on that fersure."
Ahem… Is it silly to expect actual proper English in business correspondence now?
Def totes have a lovely weekend everyone! 
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Recognising when there’s not a lot you can do and stepping away from it is frigging awesome. It’s so easy to get sucked into never ending internet conversations/arguments where no one changes their mind and everyone ends up feeling like shit.
This means you are wise 
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I’m going to remember you said that. 
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166…Phew finally caught up on this thread! Absolutely amazing read. Everyone here is inspiring and I am truly humbled by everyone’s honesty.
Happy to be sober and here.
My daughter is in a soccer tournament and we have an 8am game this morning. Had some anxiety last night. All her games this winter were at 8am and I had a flashback to my anxiety filled mornings after drinking. Right before I quit, I had huge panick attack at her game and for the drive home. I quit 2 days after. I am here sober. But these reminders I find difficult.
I haven’t had a panick attack since March 4, but I anxiety still lingers. Will continue to face it. That is all I can do. So grateful to face it sober instead of repeating a vicious cycle!
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Day 221. Spending the day with my beautiful mother. Maybe some shopping and lunch. I always feel better after being with her. After losing my Dad I find I am appreciating my time with her even more. Tonight I will listen to some Jazz with my hubby and make something healthy for our dinner. Hope you all have something fun planned today. Sending love to you all. 
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Day 91 
My big 90 just passed right by without me even noticing. Spent the day yesterday on vacation with my husband’s family. Camping in Ohio and spent yesterday at Cedar Point. Even rode a roller coaster for the first time in 15 years to satisfy my oldest son, who got a serious case of the giggles at me the entire ride. Ps I am deathly afraid of coasters! But I lived and am another day sober, stronger, and braver.
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Day 16, after a few hard stops and restarts since rehab Oct 2018
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Checking in on day 48. Almost first week of sober holidays passed. Man, life is great❤️
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Will be 7 days at midnight tonight. Not worried because yesterday really tested me. Got to airport and found out my driver’s license must have fallen out in rental car. So no ID other than pic on back of credit card. Had to go through extensive security check including full pat down. Second flight to get home had also been cancelled. So now had 5 hour layover in Phoenix. My addiction popped up out of nowhere and tried to convince me that having some wine would make me feel better. I said no. In Phoenix I ate at a restaurant and everyone was drinking around me. I had iced tea. After that I bought a book and actually read for the first time in a long time then walked around to get exercise. Made it home sober. Woke up feeling proud 
This forum helped me through this as well. I check in 4-5 times a day
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Day 1 again. I can do this.
One day at a time I know but my goal is 90 days 
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Sometimes it helps to make your goal just today, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Not that 90 is a bad goal at all, because it’s great. Try to just focus on today and go from there.
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Definitely.
I can do this.
Day 1, here we go.
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Thank you!
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I’m here a lot. How did I miss all the excitement? Perhaps it was on a thread that I muted awhile ago…
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Day 386. Uncomfortable self-truths as I step back to look at where my greater demons still cause friction.
Sobriety, you and AA give me a new perspective and tools that slowly change me day by day. The surface level, daily things are weirdly easy and I stay in the moment. That puts life on a track infinitely more manageable than when I’d just pick up a drink.
But on a deep level I’m still selfish and insecure. I still want to assert my own ego and step all over things when it isn’t about me. I’m desperately afraid I will have to go it alone despite evidence to the contrary. In relationships my instinct is to seek what’s in it for me even after discovering a compassion and love for others in being present for them that’s far more rewarding.
Part of it’s a weird paradox. Not wanting to give too much of myself out of a deep (yeah, partly healthy) fear of losing peace and sobriety. But if I wanna keep it I gotta give it away, and only drunk me finds that hard to swallow.
Part of it is still a deep-seated fear that I am not worth it and never will be. That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy; a fear that only grows if I believe it. When I shrug it off and quietly do my best, those fears fall away and life’s amazing.
Thankfully, at least for today, the angels seem to be beating the demons. 
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I can relate to this. When I seek deeper meaning it can seem counter productive. Maybe it is about being well enough equipped to deal with what we find? Or maybe sometimes it’s just normal self doubt and that’s what makes us human.
I think that shrugging it off and quietly getting on with it is important sometimes to do that day to day functioning… But surely the more we step back and dig deep, gently and kindly, the better equipped we will be to navigate the path ahead. Here’s hoping my friend 
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Word. (insert super-deep hiking metaphors) 
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I am sitting in a tea shop killing some time before my first ever meeting. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since I stopped drinking, just never quite found the time. I’ve decided to try Refuge Recovery (now Dharma Recovery) because I have found meditation helpful in the past and I just feel like I need something more.
Over the last 6 months or so I’ve done a lot of work letting things go and putting less pressure on myself. I want to have a bit more fun and I would like some friends a bit closer to where I live to do that with. I tried to branch out socially a few times last year and it didn’t quite work. But nothing changes if nothing changes, so although I feel a bit nervous I am giving it a go.
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