Checking in!!!
Have a strong day!!!
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I have a lawyer who is working with the Albany county district attorney to coordinate my surrender right now. We wanted to wait until after the wedding in case I have to spend any time in jail. We shall see what consequences await.
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I am so sorry honey. You are being so strong. Sending you hugs. xxx
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You’re not alone and that anxiety is a natural part of your body’s healing. I’m so glad you’re not drinking though. That would only make the anxiety worse, later on. Congrats. You’re breaking the cycle.
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Working in a healthstore is a great thing to do 
Hope you find one with a good education system if you’re going to work in a vitamin/ herbs store.
Good luck!! 
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Day 473. Quick check in to share this amazing picture I was sent today. Did you know owls have really long legs?
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Wonder how the owl feels about having its chicken legs exposed.
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Day 291. I’ve been struggling a lot with loneliness since the move back in March. Day in and day out, it’s just me at home, and just me when I’m out and about. I can handle the waves of when it suddenly becomes overwhelming for a while and then fades, but it’s wearing at me over time, and it’s getting tougher and tougher to manage. I’ve been trying to meet people here locally, despite circumstances that make that difficult, but I know there’s still more I can do. It’s hard for me to acknowledge that responsibility without it turning into mentally shouting at my already-depressed self “it’s your own damn fault”, which of course backfires and demotivates me further.
Sometimes I can find a way to make myself do what I need to, despite how I feel about it. Discipline, if you will. Usually, I struggle to make that happen, and building discipline by practicing it is a bit of a Catch-22 predicament. Having been so bad at it for so long, I also am conditioned to expect failure before I start, which just makes it worse.
So, I just keep trying, and hope to get better by doing so. Is it taking forever because the journey is long, or because my approach is wrong? I feel as though I’m not seeing the progress I should. I still feel useless and ineffective, when it comes to doing anything difficult or uncomfortable. Should I even be an adult?
Wouldn’t surprise me if there’s something a little off with the way I’m evaluating things. My lens has always got some sort of tint or distortion on it.
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Checking in on day 64 today. Had a face to face interview for a job I’ve been working so hard on getting, and the interview could not have gone any better. Ended with them asking me how much money I need to make in order to work there, found out they are ranked #1 on the top small business companies to work for in the country, which is amazing. 99% sure I’ll be getting an offer tomorrow, it ended with the VP of Sales telling me to call him tomorrow, likely to discuss an offer/comp plan!
Lots of hard work and dedication has led me here and sobriety needed to happen first. It’s amazing what can follow when living a program of recovery. Cannot thank this forum and the folks in here who have helped along the way, you know who you are!
Dave
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James, I agree with everything Kairi @keiti so eloquently said. You have shown so much courage and continue to do your best every day outside of your comfort zone. That’s all we can ask of ourselves. I admire you. 
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Jenna, is there anyone you can call to be with you? Do you want to talk about it?
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Day 39 check in . I need a meeting!
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I saw this on Twitter earlier and it makes me SO uncomfortable!
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I hope you feel well rested tomorrow Jenna after what sounds like a very difficult night. Sending you positive vibes.
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Every thing is gonna be alright.
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Day 391. My head/heart have wandered into the bad part of the neighborhood.
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Squirrel, there’s a lot of tension in the cosmos, it’ll be better tomorrow.
I came this close to telling my Director to go fuck herself, my immediate boss to fuck off and my coworker to go to hell. Got a headache immediately and a thought to go out after work. Instead I’ll call the pension people tomorrow THEN to them to fuck off
Pardon my potty mouth 
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Thank you for being fucking magical, @anon44659383. 
The breathing exercises helped a ton. Tension relieved. Fresh cookies ready for a long work meeting in the morning.
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Made it through day 26 without drinking. I’m day 1 on vacation and the family have been drinking all day. I stayed strong and kept my whys on the surface.
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Day 335. I forget things from time to time. Sometimes I forget about Rhode Island, like, I forget that it’s a state. What’s that about?!?
Stay beautiful gang!
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