* Checking in daily to help maintain focus

Day 22…worked out and feel 100% better.

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Day 318. Grumpy. Going to bed and starting fresh tomorrow.

Despite my internal attitude, I’m grateful to be sober. Spent today corresponding with someone from my past who described blacking out every time she drinks and a recent alcohol related arrest, yet she is unwilling to put it down. On one hand, she keeps reaching out to me for help. On the other, she is unwilling to help herself. I can’t want something for someone more than they want it for themselves. And I need to protect myself from people who are still burning down their lives. Although I do my best to be kind and compassionate, I will step over someone’s cold dead body to protect my sobriety.

Sorry, that got dark. :bird:

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Day 15 is almost coming to a close!

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  1. Fucking phones, right? So for the last hour or 2, my phones been going crazy everytime I put the charger in. It was getting really hot down the back at the bottom and the usb thingymajiggy that you put in the corresponding thingymajiggy was also getting ever so hot after just a few seconds. Then it started to melt a little bit and smell like burning plastic and started telling me that there was a usb device attached to it that was high powered or something like that. I mean, wtf? Even I know it’s a charger I’m as technologically minded as a hat stand.

@Dejavu kindly reassured me that it was in fact just possessed so I soldiered on. Anyways, after a while it seems to have cooled down and now it’s working great again-wahey! Success!

Trigger averted :slight_smile: Thanks Dan

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Day 15.
Just want to say I’m amazed at the stats for how much money I’ve saved… Already. You never really realize how quick the money adds up. I can’t wait to spend that money on more productive things that I’ve needed to pay for a long time.

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Day 2. Ughhh but I will make it to day 3!!

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Sober twin!

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This is so profound and so easy to understand🌹

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At the start of Day 330!!! 5 more days until 11 months!!! 35 more days until a year!! Totally incredible!! I started drinking at 18 - in 2017 I made it 4 months without drinking. Other than that, I wouldn’t go more than a few days, maybeeeee a week. And now here I am coming up on 11 months close to a year!! Just can’t believe it!

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Day 2 checking in.

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  1. Alarm clock got me in the middle of an intense dream. Back to work it is. I did get to my first (non AA) meeting last night. Small group. Mixed feelings about it. It was good to talk a bit. Will try another (AA?) one later this week. For now I’m happy to have another sober day to look forward too. Have a good one all. Love form Amsterdam.
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  1. On Friday I told my department at work (newish job) that I don’t drink and why. The topic was brought up organically. And the conversation felt really right. I mean what co worker/employer/boss doesn’t want to hear that you will never show up late and you’re working to be a better person? I was happy about it and they were inquisitive and supportive.

Today I went to a gathering to remember a woman that passed recently. I worked with her (and everyone else that was there) at a brewery/restaurant for about 5 years. I was able to get there early and help set up. Everyone there has been a heavy drinker at one point or another. And I also told all them that I stopped drinking… Most of them I hadn’t seen for years. One woman asked how I got so “thin” and I jokingly said stress and she said no really tell me lol and it took me a second to realize, “oh yeah I stopped drinking!”. So we started talking about that… The woman that passed was only 35 and died from a heart attack. I know she was a heavy drinker and recreational drug user.

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Day 344 :coffee:
Slept bad and dreamed a lot.
It’s very hot these days in the Netherlands and I’m sleeping below a flat roof :pensive:
I dreamt that I was telling everybody that I’m a alcoholic.
I know were that is coming from. I had 2 customers in my shop recently who have drinking problems and needed help. I told them about my own journey in short to make them feel more comforteble. But later on I was doubting if it was the right thing to do or not. Still not know the answer of it.
It felt a bit awkward afterwards. In my dream I felt that way too but worse.
Still feel a bit that way, not a great feeling to start the day.
But hé: I’m sober!

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Day 31!!!..have been the most productive 31 days ever

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What type of group was it? Would be interested to hear how it compares to AA. And what your mixed feelings were.

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Woot! 180 to totally turn it around. Good on ya, Emily. Keep on killin it! :muscle: :heart:

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Checking in.
Day: 79.

I felt a bit like a pin cushion yesterday.

I went to my local medical center to have blood drawn. The nurse tried both arms, twice, and was still not able to draw blood. I have to go back Thursday and she may have to draw from my hand.

Then went to dentist office and had needles in my mouth to have 3 fillings done. Did I mention I hate needles? Terrified of them. Made it through though.

Tomorrow and Thursday will be the ultimate test of my sobriety. Ethan is going with his paternal Grandpa for 2 nights which means I will have the house to myself. In the past, every time, I would immediately run to the liquor store the minute he left.

Determined to succeed. I have made it through other situations recently that before would have driven me to drink and have triumphed.
Going to keep busy, make nice meals and check in often.

I may have my niece, 16, over for a girls night, if she is interested. We will do our nails, hair, eyebrows, binge watch movies and pig out on snacks. We shall see.

I have made it this far, I am not about to jeopardize my sobriety. I feel wonderful. I am so grateful to be able to enjoy the little things and to be present.

But enough about me…

Sending hugs and strength to those who need it today.:sparkling_heart:

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Thank you :kissing_heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart:

Day 179
Had my knee drained for the 2nd time in 4 days. Never thought I’d find having a fat needle shoved in my knee a relief. Whatever is causing my knee to bleed in the joint, it is excruciatingly painful. I mean, childbirth is painful, but I still willingly did that 6 times.
This is a whole new dimension of pain. I can see why medieval torture worked.
So, don’t tell me anything you don’t want me to blurt out.
Also a shout out and apology to my Uber driver yesterday. Toting my crying ass to the doctor and trying to figure out how to help me in and out of your Civic without touching my knee was probably not high on your list. But hey, at least I wasn’t drunk!

Have a fabu day you sober socialites!

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