Thanks Ariel. You always know what to say. 
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Be strong. You can over come this. We are all here for you, rooting you on!
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It’s been awhile since I been on here. The app had stopped working for me randomly.
In the time since April I have hit reset twice now, going about 50 days sober each time.
This past month has been emotionally exhausting for reasons that are out of my control and aren’t directed at me, but affect me and my family. Totally could have been avoided had certain people been more considerate instead of blindsiding us. Funny how money can make blood relatives so vicious.
I had a week of anger, anxiety attacks, and sadness. Literally the worst week of my life since I was 16 when my parents split up and my sister died. Lots of stress since then. It’s had me in the mindset of “fuck it” and I started drinking a bit heavy again.
I just got back from a vacation that I had been planning for 8 months, which was poorly timed with everything else that started happening within the last month. I needed to go for my sanity though.
I’m feeling rested and ready to start fresh with sobriety and doing what I need to take care of my family. I’m at day 2.
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TS is a bit privat for me too. Only my husband knows I’m here.
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Day 9 and I have just done two aa meetings on intherooms.com. These were my first meetings of any sort in more than a year and back then I only went to one.
I get the strangest feeling after meetings. It scares me rather than inspires me hearing people talk about 3 years or 10 years sober because it just feels so daunting and huge.
Its put me in a very strange mood. Reflective I guess. I dont want to drink but for some reason cant bear the thought of not being able to drink tomorrow.
Anyone relate to this?
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Thank you yea i feel better than a real hangover so that’s a start!!
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Just worry about not drinking today. Tomorrow will sort itself out when it gets here.
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Aye I guess. I just worry I’m missing something from the meetings. I dunno. It’s a weird feeling
I can, the thought of going without my DOC for that amount of time feels impossible.
The thing is, those people with that amount of sober time got there facing the same challenges. They got there the same way you will. One day at a time. I am constantly telling my inner addict, “just not today. Maybe tomorrow but not today.”
Good luck and keep finding those nuggets of wisdom at those meetings.
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I don’t think about whether I will or won’t drink tomorrow, I just stay focused on TODAY. It is a beautiful way to live.
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YES. Exactly this.
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You worry too much 
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You sound like my therapist! 
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Not if you don’t think about the future.
Or if you’re like me just decide that you are happy with not drinking again. I made my piece with alcohol. We are never going to meet again.
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Aye I guess I’m just not there yet. I’ll keep going to the meetings and hopefully something will click
Try listening to the AA/NAspeaker tapes on YouTube, some inspirational stuff in those. This one I listened to today made me contemplate lots of good stuff. 
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Personally, I don’t think its about going to meetings. It’s about changing the way you view alcohol and it’s position in your life.
I know that if I carried on drinking then I would loose everything I have, so I no longer drink.
It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love to have a nice cold one on a really hot day. But I don’t drink anymore, so a nice blackcurrant and lemonade does the job just as well.
Plus I know I can go out, have fun just as well as I did before, if not better, because I’m not worrying about where the next one is coming from.
It took a while, I’d admit but it’s where I am now and have been for a few months.
Just try retraining your mind. Keep telling yourself.
Stay strong 
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Geoff…for 9 months I have been writing down quotes from folks on the threads that I particularly like. This is going in my quote book.
I made my piece with alcohol. We are never going to meet again.
With respect to this conversation with @Kipper , one of my favorite quotes I’ve ever read on here helped me so much early on was from @MrCade (you are in my inspirational quote book man) who said this…
I am more curious about being sober than I am about getting drunk. I know everything there is to know about me drinking. MrCade
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