Had a good day yesterday. Didn’t work but didn’t have an overwhelming sense of loneliness or urge to drink or binge eat. Looking forward to more days like that. TGIF, have a great day full of wins!
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Day 93 …THE STRUGGLE IS IN THE STRUGGLE!!
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Hey what’s up everyone, day 46. I had a good evening with my girls yesterday, we went for a lil walk and it was about maybe high 40s. It didn’t take them long to hit up some puddles, usually I would of gotten mad before, bc god for bid if it would of interrupt my drinking and make me have to do laundry when I got home, it was fun and very pleasant to watch them, but then the two shits took they’re boots off when we were like half a mile from the house and refused to put them back on🤦🏻♂️ . We got home, took a bath did laundry, and made them some home made Mac and cheese. Autumn gave me the biggest high five and said " daddy, daddy. You’re a good cooker" it really brought a big smile to my face bc she is a picky lil bratt. This morning I almost over slept for work again. Even with a loud ass alarm clock, I kept waking up like every hour. I had a weird ass dreaming about using, I kind of can’t remember it now tho. It seriously sucks having to come into work and clean and disinfect everything and then drag w.e home, I mean I’m not quiting and should be grateful I’m still working, but a huge part in my head keeps telling me to quit and be home with my girls. Idk ppl always say listen to you’re gut rite? But I know I shouldn’t quit either. So thats deff bugging me, but other then that I’m gonna try to make it a good day, I know God Def got me sober for a reason now with everything that is going on. Have a awesome sober Friday everyone
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Glad to hear that you and your colleagues are standing up for what’s right. If we can’t look after the world beneath our feet there isn’t really anything left 
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Walked to the vet to collect Lady’s ashes this morning. Blue sky, sun shining, birds singing. Spring is definitely springing. A reminder that there are lighter times ahead.
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Day 54 
Im having a rough start to my morning, to many thoughts running threw my head cant seem to organize them all. Worked from home this week and afraid that this will be the normal routine for a while with all that is going on.
I hope you all have a great day!!
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Day 123. I dont think it ever gets easier. The stress in my life right now is breaking me. The “fuck it” mentality is more pressing everyday.
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Brought tears to my eyes. A beautiful tribute. 
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Day 60
Happy 60th day Marie @Hopeful777!!!
We made it!!! And as promised, I cobbled together a Woody cowboy outfit this morning to celebrate 60 days. Here it is; hope you like it. We can do another one at 90 days.
Have a great and sober day partners!!!
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Don’t you Ever say that I’m ONLY this many days Clean!!! 2 Weeks is A Big Accomplishment for an Addict!! DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT!! EVERY DAY is a WINNING DAY!!
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Day 18. Woke up feeling unsettled. Was dreaming about having a tender moment with a close friend that was a drinking buddy (although so much more than that) but it was tempered by the bad taste in my mouth that has been left by real events from last summer. She visited for her birthday and I was just starting my first attempt to quit drinking. I told her when she arrived that I wasn’t drinking. Needless to say it didn’t last while she was here and things didn’t go well. I’ve barely communicated with her after a blow up that left things on very shaky ground. It involved my husband which pulled the rug right out from under me…ugh.
She has said she is going to quit drinking “except on special occasions”…I feel sad that we were so close once and it is probably never going to be anywhere near the same kind of friendship, especially since she is on the other side of the country and the healing that needs to happen probably can’t happen remotely. I find myself in the ambivalent place of letting go yet thinking about it too much. I still think it is progress compared to how I was just numbing my feelings and trying NOT to think about hard things. All the hard things…
It’s all left me with a melancholic feeling this morning. I think some journaling is in order today. I got the ball rolling here, not sure who said it, but I’m really digging the journaling with an audience (thanks!) and welcome any comments.
Today I’m grateful for:
- The surprising resolve I’ve found to not drink
- My hobbies, having a creative and crafty bent
- My husband’s ability to work from home (despite his frustrations with slow programs/overloaded network and all the cursing under his breath)
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Day 241. Cleared out my uncle’s stuff from hospice yesterday. While it was a bummer, it turned out I knew the MOD from “gym stuff”, as her fiance owns a local gym I checked out a while back, and met them both at that time. I guess my uncle would ask her 62867098 questions about the gym, her workouts, etc., and she said she even sat and did some dumbbell curls with him one day. So, that’s pretty awesome.
This happened to me last night as I was taking out the trash. Seemed like a fitting end to the evening’s bummer festivities:
Glad it’s Friday. The house is in total disarray, which has me a little stressed, so, it’s mega clean weekend. Maybe I’ll get some help, maybe not…either way, it’s gotta get done.
Have a strong day!!!
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@TeejLazer
Morning Thomas
First, I missed the passing of your uncle somehow. I am sorry to hear about this and for your loss.
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is not easy; especially when it was someone close to you.
Keep yourself busy and don’t let things compound in your head. Posting the car / water spray is the best way to get the feelings out. Hang in there and try to focus on the positive things in your life.
I am pulling for you my friend; take care of yourself.
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Total respect to you @GVLNative that looks fabulous 
. I have let the side down (in Western Theme) as been sourcing toilet rolls/pasta all week with no luck. I am so proud of you and I promise on 90 days I will join in. Been doing my Son’s room and shopping every day this week as we have nothing on shelves. Did try to get a hat, but no luck in short supply in Cambridgeshire, UK.
But congratulations to us for making 60 days so far, last week has been testing for sure but hung on by my fingertips and so good have a “twin” as you don’t want to let them down. Onwards and upwards to 90 days.
@Fargesia_murielae & @Conor689908 thank you both 
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Much appreciated. It had been a long time coming, and I’d made my peace with it a while back. Still sucks, but it is what it is. At least he doesn’t have to fight anymore.
I’ve somehow managed to make it 39 years without ever having been dealt the car puddle spray. Couldn’t have happened at a better time. It kind of snapped me back to reality, and I couldn’t even be mad. I just laughed it off.
Appreciate the support. I can assure you, the tracker will hit 242 days tomorrow.
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Hey gals and guys, checking in on day 117 tbh I’m not spending much time on here ATM my brain can’t handle cv19 overload so I pop in and try to respond to 3)5 ppl reaching out for help and then I feel I helpingbin a small way .take care my T .S FAMALAM.XX
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Checking in, just out of work… glad that were not shutted down so we can continue helping.
Im doing fine, though had some craving last 2 days but my emergency plann Works perfect with set dates on difficult days and the people who call me in those times and are availebel.
Be wel !! A few more days and im @ 180 clean 
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It’s hard for me to agree when he’s not so subtly told me in the past to not take my duties too seriously. But you’re right that I’m trying to read his mind. Another one of those character defects.
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We all started with one day!
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