A bit confused as to how to proceed with what has blossomed into a full scale mutiny at my workplace.
I work as a local regulator. Development oversight, resource protection, all that jazz. I do my best to be equitable and keep my integrity. I’m a steward of the environment and I help people achieve their dreams most days. It’s not all gilded, but it doesn’t suck. Trouble is my boss has this habit of trying to smooth things over and he often has direct contact with well connected landowners which ends with the usual procedures being bypassed so that feathers aren’t ruffled. Personal and political relationships factor into his choices.
There’s some side effects to your boss giving these prominent community members the avenues to end around his employees decisions. We don’t really believe the boss is trying to be malicious, we just think that he believes we care as little as he does. It’s cutting us off at the knees and complicating project management. It makes us look inept or stupid.
Additionally it doesn’t really encourage us to do our best when we feel like at any point our decisions could be tossed out by someone who doesn’t technically hold any authority.
I’m concerned. I didn’t start the mutiny but I am participating in it. I do agree with my colleagues but I am anxious how it plays out. Trying to have faith. I need to talk with my sponsor.
I know they won’t prevent us from getting corona, but if we have it and are asymptomatic it will stop us from passing it on. Plus it is almost a social faux pas not to have one these days.
My work buildings are officially closed, not just to clients, but to staff, too. It is taking every ounce of strength I have to not go out and stock up on alcohol. I know why it’s important, but I do not want to work from home. I am already struggling with feelings of panic and isolation, both of which make me want to drink.
Day 501. I’m sensing another possible wave of depression coming on. I always get through it though, and the past 501 days tell me I haven’t needed alcohol to do it either. And who really knows how I’ll feel when I wake up?
Considering all that’s going on around us, and the uneasy feeling I have about the new order from our governor here in California to stay indoors, I’m really missing my kids tonight.
My heart hurts without them 24 hours a day, but tonight it’s unbearable. This too shall pass. . .🤷
OMG… I haven’t logged in for a while… Too much happening out in this crazy world
Massive congratulations to @ifs James on 500 days!!! @liv_m Mel on 600 days and @Lionfish Lea on 700 days!!! Wow you guys absolutely rock
I’m glad that people stay insane and sober here. I will be more online again…
Checking in on day 170. I’m very glad to be sober in these hard times right now. It’s a beautiful and sunny morning in Munich. I will go for a run later. Alone in the forest. Just what I need.
Take care everyone and stay safe and healthy
Hi everyone.
Hope you’re all stocked up.
My July/August vacation to New York & Toronto looks a distant dream. Absolutely gutted
But hey,on the bright side,its 5 months for me now.
Day 550
Depressed and anxious, but not drinking.
Working in another store today and that gives me more stress. But today will pass and at the end I have never have to do this exact day again
Keep it safe people
Sounds like u r getting real comfortable in ur sobriety, good for u. Hanging out with people drinking, etc, is such a challenge! So happy u could rise to it!
First day of my vacation. Crazy stuff. I want to be working but I’m also happy I’m off for a bit. Time to reflect on all that’s happening around me and what it does to me. In the last few days I’ve been having more craves then in the 8 months before combined. Which is interesting. It’s the flight response that’s always been strong in me as reaction to happenings in my life. Trouble? Run away! Hide! Pretend it isn’t there! That has been me for 40 years, not coincidently coinciding with my 40 years of boozing and drugging.
No more. Today I choose to exert control over what I can and accept the stuff I can’t. One very big thing I can control in my life is staying sober and clean. By staying sober and clean I choose to respond in stead of react to the world and all the crazy stuff occurring in it. I choose not to flee any more. I choose to live life. On my own terms. Instead of making my addictive behaviours my own worst enemy I’m making me being sober and clean my best trait and my base for living consciously, making better choices for myself and those around me.
Thanks so much for being here all. I could never do this alone. All your input makes it possible. Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam. The pic is the heart of town, Dam square, today.
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I feel too sick to post much. I need to remember how horrible this is and chronicle this feeling. Just not now. Too weak and miserable.