Quite like the numbers are both 5. Next week the kids go back to school (slightly concerned about Corona, case no’s here are quite low, but limited testing so may not be real pic), feeling quietly confident about being in the house alone (my work off til 20th) in terms of drinking. In terms of food, I am reading about body acceptance as a way to stop binging, but knowing that I am just hoping that not binging will give me a more easily acceptable body, it is not real acceptance.
U got this i get u sometimes when im clean for a certain amont of time then i try to make excuses in my head that I deserve to get high bc of how long i was clean for… But u got this just get back up amd keep going
Day 516. It was a tough day, and stressful (the kind where police get involved) but everything worked out. I made it. I even pushed out of my comfort zone in a big way, sharing a piano performance of mine with new people who hadn’t heard it before.
I’ve been sober for 94 days. 100 is right around the corner. I’m honestly quite surprised. Some days are harder than others, but the hard days are getting less frequent and are getting less hard. Idk. My life has vastly improved over the last six months, and I have no doubt that just like my descent into depression and my binge drinking fed off each other, so do my improved situation and my sobriety. I am a little… (worried is the wrong word… curious? unsure?) something about what will happen when I hit a bump in the road with my life circumstances. Surely things can’t continue to improve forever. Bad things can and will happen. What I choose to do at that point is the only thing in my control.
Day 129, or 130 later today. I can’t sleep recently, for obvious reasons. I have been thinking about drinking more. But mostly glad to be sober. If I’m going to wake up at weird times feeling panicky, it’s better if I don’t have a headache from too much to drink. Also so much better for kids that I’m sober. I keep playing the tape forward. Grateful to be here and I am glad that I don’t have to drink today.
Aren’t your parents cruising around the world? enjoying their Twilight years(I don’t know how old they are, no offence intended!) Sure they are probable a little bit upset with your drinking with your brother informing them that you were in a state but I also think that your blowing this one way out of proportion.
They will answer the phone when you call, surely if they had stopped caring about you as you think then they wouldn’t answer. Let them enjoy their holiday.
As addicts we tend to massively overthink things, I think that this is most likely what you are doing tbh.
I’ve lost all of my friends through my active addiction, some of them are addicts too but it does not make me question why in choosing sobriety.
Your upset, possibly overthinking certain things and still in very early sobriety so your bound to be off kilter. Give it time!!!
At the airport in Bali now. I so wanted my flight to be cancelled so I could stay but God had another plan as all flights but mine to Doha are cancelled. They need me at the hospital and It’s time to go home now
keep at it , I relapsed so many times, lost count, but being on here for this attempt at sobriety has been my longest stint. When I get cravings I hop on here and read, read, read, or reach out some great experience to keep you on straight and narrow. Wishing you a good day today.
The sun is shining in the UK, so have planned my day. Done my 1 outing with a dog walk. Going to paint my door cards on camper van as all scratched. Then some gardening. Going to try and keep away from the news today as watched too much yesterday and its scary.
