Wow, checking in for the first time in months. And those months have been full of relapses. Let’s go!! Help me God like you’ve helped me so far with AMP’s. Just need to stay Focused and not distracted
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Day 120. Four months!
Phew, I barely made it through yesterday. Was this close to running to the store. It seemed to creep up on me. Thoughts of… Do I want to do this? Feeling I miss the old me. The fun me. Not this me with a stick up my ass. Tired of saying no. Feeling left out. Hubby supports me having a few. He misses that “me” too. But hindsight, would gardening be any better with a drink? Maybe temporarily. But not in the long run. I know the guilt will be there waiting. Sure, I’d have been more relaxed about the bunny who was dropped off without my permission (despite me saying NO for years). Thanks to my FIL & hubby so I’m a bit angry how sneaky they were about it, knowing I can’t/wouldn’t ’t send an animal away. I’m all over the place rambling here lol. Sorry. It’s 6am and I haven’t had my coffee yet. I was up half the night peeking at bunny who’s in a laundry basket in living room because it’s too cold in his hutch outside. So I’ll go drink coffee. And go talk to bunny. Sober.
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I love the look of 700. It’s hard to talk to everyone we come across on here but I watch you and I’m real happy for your sober days. Keep being you. 
and respect.
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Nice work on your 4 months. Trust me you made the right choice yesterday, I would like to be a shining example of how not to do it. I can’t empathise enough that what you remember about the feeling of drinking or using drugs has long gone.
We enjoyed it in the past bc it’s what we wanted to do, now you’ll just be waiting for something amazing or life changing, oh it’ll change your life alright, it’ll give you a banging headache, hot flushes, sick, guilt, sadness, disappointment, I’m sure you can fill the gaps in.
So once again a BIG well done.
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Thanks, Paul 
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Thanks, though I prefer it with a beach in view my friend 
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Big congrats on 4 months Salty! Hope the coffee did it’s work and you can enjoy your day. And bunny. All sober of course.
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Day 3 . I feel exhausted, not sleeping well and haunted by past memories. I must resist this first week no matter what. Please pray If you can, I appreciate your prayers
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@siand and everybody else too.
KEEPING QUIET
by Pablo Neruda
Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.
For once on the face of the earth,
let’s not speak in any language;
let’s stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.
It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines;
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.
Fisherman in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would look at his hurt hands.
Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.
What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.
If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.
Now I’ll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.
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Nice! That was very sweet to send to Mno!
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You will someday Mno; I can’t wait to see you’re pictures when you do!
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Huge Congrats on 700 days @siand and thank you for all you do to keep this forum running smoothly. I love all the advice and links you post.
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Checking in today sober.
Thought for today: “Why give up everything for one thing when you can give up one thing and gain everything”
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Not sure where to post this, but it’s pretty cool!
We’ll get through this my friends!
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Thank you for saying this. I absolutely agree!
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Day 78. Good morning. Glad to see the reminder this morning that its ok to not be ok especially now under these unprecedented circumstances, at least in my lifetime. Fighting the demon within that says just go pick up and ride this out till the worlds better… fuck you demon not today just for today my world is better now without you, you piece of…anyway I’m praying for all us. 
& 
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Good morning, wow I seen some huge milestones and congrats to you guys that’s so inspiring thank you guys. Day 62, so you guys get all honesty from me here. These last two days, I’ve thought about coke really bad, last night I was really close to getting it, I almost talked my self into it bc I wouldn’t be resetting my St for alcohol, Im glad I played the tape tho and made it. But it was close, 100 dollars for two hours of paranoid, and heart racing bullshit. Fuck that. My best friend that I talk about alot, won a million dollars on a lottery ticket, two days ago, and didn’t even tell me. I found out from my buddy who lives with him when we went for are bike ride. I congradulate him, but honestly didn’t really give two shits that he won, all I got from him was “yep finally”. I kind of didn’t like my thinking bc I sit here and am trying so hard to get better, so I thought why does somebody who makes no effort, drinks every day, ruins his marriage get to win a million. And I’m stuck in this toxic ass house trying to take care of two girls and can’t afford anywhere to live. I definitely didn’t like my thinking, I need to grateful for what I do have and I forget that. I do ask God every night I pray to take care of me and my friends. So maybe thats just what he is doing. Anyway yeah I’m about to go for a nice long bike ride. Have a good sober Sunday all
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Thanks for this is great to remember that it’s ok to just be ok nothing more nothing less IL definitely take this on board.
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