I want to change. That’s all I really have to say right now. I’ll be back tomorrow trying. I will need all of your help to do that and when I’m better, I’ll give it back. 
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we’ll be waiting for you with open arms and a warm heart, BTW the fact that you are here already helps others, by helping others we help ourselves, by seeing fresh determination we are reminded of our early days and the road we have travelled. I wish you well.
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@Butterflymoonwoman
I am a recurrent relapser (not sure if that is correct english).
I’ve relapsed so many times over the years I cannot count. I ran everyone in my life away. However, I am still trying every day one-day-at-a-time.
Keep coming back and keep trying. It will stick at some point.
Each time you learn more and more to help you stop.
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Day 20.
Not too much to report. Started exercising again, as my ankle is finally healed enough to. My friends think I am crazy for trying to be sober during the stay at home crap. Beginning to believe them. I know there’s no good time to quit, and I can always find an excuse to drink. Right now it’s more the money I am saving more than health or happiness.
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Carry on then, give it time and it will take your health and happiness you just won’t see it until its too late. Well done on 20 days mate, awesome work.
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Where you at on the father situation.
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Thank u 
I’m one of those recurrent relapsers also. We just need to keep at it. Ur right, we will get this recovery thing one day. Hopefully sooner than later I’ve lost so much in the past and have even more important things to lose now. I dont want to keep messing up.
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with your life story having the strength to get out of bed each day is a miracle in itself, if you can perform miracles you can do anything you want.
When we are ready it just happens.
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Congratulations on 20 Paul! I hope you keep it up, I know it’s hard when it comes to friends saying that; maybe this is just a little test. They don’t know the depth of what you want/need to change in your life.
That’s how I think when they say, “not even one?”…
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Thank you so much for that. I needed that emotional boost today 
how are u doing? Taking it one day at a time?
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It’s been a few days since I’ve checked in. After catching up on 400+ posts, I’m checking in at day 124.
I’m craving today, but it will pass.
Good job everyone. Let’s never give up, EVER.
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I’m sorry to hear about how you feel. But also, even though I haven’t met you I can see how deep your stubborn persistence and courage is. These are incredibly valuable qualities. It’s not always possible to see this in ourselves (we’re our own worst judges, right?). And these are qualities not everybody has. You bring unique strength to the world.
I want to hear from you no matter how rough you feel. It doesn’t matter and I don’t care about you any less, no matter what. You matter, and you’ll get this. I have no doubt about this whatsoever.
And the most important thing is, you’re doing this first and foremost for the main person in your life, the only person who’s totally reliant on you for everything: yourself.
You get your sobriety, you work it for yourself first. Other people are ok. They really are. Work on yourself first. Don’t worry about apologizing, don’t worry about making up for everything that happened yesterday; work your recovery, and the appropriate time for amends & service work (or other recovery work) will come. (But it’s not usually the first thing.)
As addicts we’ve spent so long running and escaping and burying ourselves we’ve forgotten (or never learned) what we are and what we need and what space we deserve, for our health. In recovery we learn this. It sorta feels like learning to walk, and sometimes it feels like “Dammit I should know this already.” But we don’t. We’re learning. We’ll get it. And you will too. Take care & keep at it 
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It’s one year for me today. I am happy, it’s hard to express. My life has changed a lot over the last year, mostly for the better. My understanding of myself and what is important being the biggest change.
It is a better life, no question. Sometimes the truth of what I want is scary, and maybe it’s not for the best, but at least I am in a state of my where I am aware of it.
Tonight is a pizza party celebration with my family. My wife has been supportive and I’m grateful for it. I’m looking forward to whatever comes next. Best to you all! 
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Great job Donna!!!
30 days is awesome!!!
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Thank you! I’m pretty pleased, 
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Glad to see you checking in way to go on getting through your craving! I know u can do it… uv come such a long way. Here’s to another day!
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I went to a rehab center for detox and treatment and they allowed us to take up to 20mg of melatonin to sleep. I’m at day 177 and I still take melatonin. It’s all natural in the vitamin section. Might be worth a try if you haven’t. I don’t now if I could of made it without rehab. I cant imagine the way I felt doing it with out structure. Stay strong!
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Day 518. I’m tired and sad. It’s okay to be tired and sad. I won’t always be tired and sad. Maybe not even tomorrow. Who knows? 
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