So today im checking in day 16 and 13 hours. Since last bing i have been so sad. Since my relationsship to my parents has changed alot. Today my bf got enough of seeing me sad without saying anything and sat down and had a talked with me to find out what was running around in my head making me sad and look like the world was falling apart. So we talked it through and i just sat there crying. He said that he thought i should call my parents and talk about how i feel and how this distance between us is tearing me down. I think he is right and i think i should have done that a long time ago. But i dont feel ready for it and im sure i will probably never be. But i will have to do it today and within a couple of hours. For now i just have to cry it all out, so that im able to speak, because atm im not. I have heard that it might be to overthink the situation and i might do that a bit to. But the worst thing i know in the world is my dads mad voice or him being dissapointed, sooo for me this is a huge and bad thing, overthinking or not. I have no idea whatsoever how to do this or how to say the things i want to, to my parents and in my head the situation of me calling my parents starts with me saying hello and after that i will just cry. I dont know what i want to say with this post other than i sad and affraid of doing this phonecall. I could use some beers feeling more confident, but i know thats not gonna solve the problem, it will just make it worse, so i will stay sober today
Day 124
Woke up to snow on the ground. This week has been hard. Feeling guilt for saying no to my little guy so much as I have to work. Hard to find balance with this new life. But I’m so very lucky to be able to work to make an income. Lots of rocky relationship issues too. But pushing though. I might be helping with COVID tent this weekend if they need an extra body. I’ll have face shield and mask so that is good. Must find some time to get some goodies from the Easter bunny for this weekend. Hubby is off Friday & my plan was to go get our essentials that day while he watches our son but our premier just mandated all stores closed Friday & Sunday so I’ll try tonight after little man’s in bed. Have a great sober day 
Thanks Paul 
You got it 
Drinking or using always makes it worse 
And though you’re afraid of the conversation and you feel shame about your history, I am sure your father loves you at his heart, and accepts you.
Shame hides in dark corners. The enemy of shame, and the safe place for you to be, is fearless honesty with yourself and your loved ones. We’re all imperfect, incomplete people, but when we work a program and work on our network of support with family and friends (also incomplete people themselves), there’s nothing in the world that we can’t face.
Your boyfriend obviously loves you, and you him; you love your father, and I’m willing to bet he loves you very much as well. You have a good foundation there. Trust them, and trust yourself and your recovery. You are a good person, and you can do this 
Thank you so very much for this respond Matt. 
it means more to me than you know. I will give an update when the calls is made and the situation has changed one way or another. I think i have waited with this call so long that i thought that if the outcome is that im loosing them it would feel as bad as i feel now. But i have to face that it will never be so. So i just have to get i overwith
Day 39…checking in friends😊
Hang in there and be kind to yourself Paul. I just pulled the same thing. I get to this point where I just want to be “normal”. However, I’m way too far past that. I know something has to change down deep. You got this and I’m glad you came right back here straight away
1.64 days, sigh again. I need to change my mindset from deep within. I need to accept what I am and respect it. Do I get depressed sober, sure sometimes, but I’m still so much better off to deal with it sober. I’m really glad I was sober through my last little bout of depression because the likelihood of me being alive right now is zero.
I’m still hurting. I’m not a big dude and the amount of alcohol I consumed could kill a large horse. So it’s not going to be a quick fix. The shaking is better today as it was violent yesterday. I hear things that are not there, but sadly this has happened the last few times and it goes away and is sporadic. I’m not scared because I know what it is.
I ate a little yesterday and got plenty of fluids. I managed to get quite a bit of work done yesterday so that helped me feel somewhat useful. I did postpone two zoom meeting until next week though.
Paul, get right back up and have another go.
I’ve done this many many many etc. times and learn a new tool every time.
Keep trying & do not give up.
What matters are the number of sober days. They don’t go away with a reset.
Pulling for you buddy!!!
Day 80.32
Today is the day…Starbucks finally closed 
I knew they were going to eventually, but why today?
I went to the gas station that has pretty good coffee instead.
I don’t like going there since it is so busy, but I need morning coffee.
Another WFH day. Yesterday CEO said no layoffs for at least 60 days.
I will take it!!!
Everyone hang in there as the new normal envelopes us!!!
Happy Thursday!!! 
Checking in at the beginning of day 3. I physically feel horrible. Nauseous, hot & cold, crabby, tired, just all around bad This too shall pass. I usually experience the worst physical withdrawal symptoms through the second and third days so hopefully this passes soon. Not like I can leave to go get anything so that’s a blessing in disguise there. I should never have slipped up, I hate going through this yet I keep doing it to myself 🤦 I need to just rest today and hopefully taking a long hot shower will help spruce me up a bit. For now I have to lay down, I just feel too weak to stand for too long. Have a great sober day all and stay safe and healthy wherever you are in the world 
So an update. They didnt pick up the phone. Hope they havent sailed towards europe without telling me. The phone went straight to voicemail
oooooooohhhh…feel for you 
Day 3 sober. A little bit more settled. Let’s choose well today
Checking in sober today, creeping another day closer to triple digits.Not a lot going on, social isolating at home and doing AA each day on Zoom.
Getting a bit stir crazy, though. Yesterday I did some experiments and can report that it took between 500-650 licks to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop… 
@Briella I am in day 3 too. I hope you can make it. Blessings and prayers. I understand how hard it is
Thank you, Beth.
Thank you!
Wowza @Jane.c. Sorry to hear/read that. Really. I wish I hadn’t.
JK 
Hope you get better quickly. Hydrate, and Hydrate.
Do you need any TP? 
Ohhhhhh nooooooo! Sorry to hear. That’s the worst 
Hope you’re feeling better soon. Take it easy, hydrate, bananas for potassium (if you can keep them down)