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Day 33! I woke up bursting with energy. Swept, vaccumed, mopped and dusted the entire house. I used to take adderall for 5 years sometimes just to clean! I have sooo much more energy now without it!! With no crash and burn and no craving for benzos and alcohol. Amphetamines are the biggest lie. I love being healthy. I wish I had known sooner how amazing sober life is. Now I am going to work out and do my dreaded taxesā¦ Happy sober day everyone! 
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Day 2 and stuck at homeā¦wanting a drink. Ugh.
I keep repeating ājust for todayā and trying to stay busy with work.
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Day 131
@Hopeful777 woo-hoo! Congratulations!
One of my co-ordinators is driving me nuts. After I found mistakes in the work he sent out for everyone to use, he sent out a self-congratulatory email āworking hard to fix mistakesā, dude, theyāre ur mistakes. This is the same guy who sent an email āHey guys, Iāve had this great ideaā¦ so what do u think?ā It bothers me so much because I am so paranoid about making professional mistakes, and when I do feel so embarrassed, and this guy is so full of himself even though he makes mistakes all the damn time. I also wish I had the courage to point this out, but maybe that would be inappropriate in any work situation.
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7M 6D / After about 2 weeks off the job, I finally got a call today asking for me to come in. Iām going in and will be grateful for the work. Earlier that day I gave the go ahead to my girl to start looking for a position at the base where she works at. I have to start from the bottom again but thatās never stopped me before when I was drinking. So, why would that stop me now?
My justification in doing this is that it will open way more doors for me down the line and Iām finally taking the other step into the right direction as far as a career in the Guard goes. Iām going to miss the job I have now though. Honest. Itās full of good people who not only respect me but love me as a brother. Even though I was a foolish drunk, all of them were just as foolish as I was. They each have a unique story, pros and cons and not once did they judge me for what I was since I never once judged them. Even when they did something utterly foolish. Because who am I to judge anyone? Iām going to miss all of them. Iām also excited as fuck. Iāve never been so determined and focused in all my lifeā¦
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Sorry to hear this but glad youāre back here. Donāt beat yourself up too much. Just move forward and learn from it. Massive hug 
to you. 
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Eventually the bad guy gets real quiet and Iām hoping shuts up all together. Stay strong. 
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A pretty productive day overall. I was busy from the start. Took a 15 minute break to pray and meditate in the sunshine. Finished an online training that has been a slog. Lots of phone calls. Got a 4 mile jog in too. Looking forward to a meeting in a few minutes. Iām glad to have a reprieve from my insanity today.
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Thank you. I just feel so bad. Let everyone down.
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Im on day 2. Kinda feel the same but I went to the store tried to not think of drinking might go for a walk. How are you holding up??
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Better 
that urge has somewhat passed. Thank you for reaching out 
. Itās nice knowing other people are feeling the same. How are you doing?
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Day 542. Today was mostly eaten up by another dental emergency (complication after yesterdayās work) and trying to treat it, deal with the discomfort, stay grounded mentally, and not feel too overwhelmed by the rest of my life not standing still while I fight this fire.
And now it looks like Iāve got other symptoms that need checking by a doctor and canāt wait. Itās whack-a-mole today! But Iām remaining relatively calm, considering. I guess Iām confident itāll work out or something. Weāll see whatās up, tonight.
And hey, no alcohol required.
Edit: Doctor says hmm, watch and wait. Fun, right? 
But it at least means no emergency 
ā¦ yet. 
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Oh no problem im doing ok itās just a struggle and it sucks right now but i think Iām a little grouchy but it will pass. I mean day 3 has to be better!!
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It absolutely will be 
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- Yesterday afternoon in between the clouds and rain the sun came out just as I finished work. Right in time to take my bike and ride to the beach and back. I got home and it started raining again. Itās about seizing the opportunity. Right here right now. Today we got to do it, yesterday is gone and tomorrow never comes. Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam and Zandvoort beach. @Quit4myDaughter congrats on a month! Thatās huge! @Here.I.am Thereās no shame. Youāre brave and strong for being here. Letās do this. @ifs Thatās a lot to cope with James. Thinking of you.
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164 Days: Been a while since Iāve checked in so doing a quick check in before I crash for the night. Still here, still sober and happy for that. The monotony of life these days has been challenging to say the least. Thankfully spring had finally arrived here so Iāve been able to venture outdoors a little more. Exploring some new hiking spots tomorrow. The local government is starting to lift some of the viruses restrictions on businesses here finally. My gym is suppose to open up on May 1 so thatās definitely a good thing. Just keeping things simple, well as simple as I can, trying to find the positives in each day. Happy to be sober.
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