@CapriciousCapricorn@C_8
Do you know what is causing this phantom taste?
Is there something that is triggering this?
You might try to reset your mindset to: “I am here since I choose to be here, not b/c I have to be here”.
This helps set context.
Play the tape all the way to the end (what is the outcome).
Write down pros and cons of using?
ABCs:
Write down the activating event (if I pickup), IRRATIONAL belief (I will have one or two and quit), IRRATIONAL outcome (I will have a good time and handle it) (ABC - A side)
Next write down activating event, RATIONAL belief (I will have one and it will turn into many; it will most likely turn into days, outcome (I will feel horrible about myself and will have to reset my timer) (ABC - B side)
Write down your Hierarchy of Values
First 5 (health, financial security, etc.) at the end, see if your DOC is on the list?
If it is not why are you obsessing so much about it.
Overall, this is the thing we all suffer from. We focusing on the one thing we cannot have and ignore everything else. Try to concentrate on all of the other things you can do and stop obsessing over the one thing we know we cannot.
@Clarity
Please take the walk and don’t pickup. You will have the first drink that will feel great and then it will turn down from there. You will wake up hung over (assuming nothing bad happens) and you will feel terrible. You will then feel even more depressed and guilty when you have to reset your counter.
Depression and alcohol will never get you what you want. Fight them both, but depression without alcohol is much more manageable. Keep posting and reach out if needed.
@CapriciousCapricorn What do you think is making you so tired? Is it just a natural plateau? Did something happen? Is it Corona fatigue?
Is there something you can do to get some energy/motivation back? Can you take some time for focussed relaxation?
Pretending you are OK when you are not means you don’t get support (you know this, of course), and for me, when I do this, I also feel so reglected and angry when people don’t notice (even tho I am hiding it, so of course they don’t notice!)
I really hope your doctor has some ideas, but Friday probably feels a long way away right now. Stay strong.
Day 568. I have been such a tense combination of excitement and stress and irritation today, and mindfulness is what’s letting me hold it all together. Can’t wait for this week to advance so I can take action on more of my situation. Waiting is hard.
The only ‘trigger’ I can think of is watching a live sporting event on TV. But TV sports isn’t really my thing, so
My taste event was weird. Totally out of the blue (while folding laundry), my nose strongly smelled (smelt?) one drink (that we don’t have in the house), and then my tastebuds came alive. It really felt like I had taken a gulp of it.
Then, just as quickly, the same thing happened with another favorite. The experience lasted about 20 minutes or so, but after a few, I started going through my tools until it went away. I’m not sure I can even call it a craving. The taste bit freaked me out a bit tbh. I’ve heard of people having drinking dreams, but not this… yet
Sorry you’re having a rough go, @Clarity. Keep talking it out and don’t pick up. Maybe meditate/pray on what the next right step could be and try that or reach out to someone you trust for a little advice. Get to a meeting and don’t sweat the number of days too much. All we have is today, afterall. Here to help if I can
I promise there’s a gentler way. Success does not necessarily equate to full throttle without the booze.
Memorial Day is coming to a close. I was supposed to have been up in the mountains fishing and camping today. Instead I did a meditation meeting. It really calmed me down for the hour or so and I need to get back to meditation as a regular practice and not just weights and yoga and ukulele and aa and guitar and work and swimming and cooking lol.
It’s shit like that has triggered me in the past, sometimes feels like my other half is testing my limits! Well done for staying strong and focused, hope things have calmed and today is better for you.
190 Days: Had a big break through for myself last week. I was able to close the door on a relationship that has been a huge part of my life for the last 7 years. This relationship has been a major part of my drinking and a large part of my sobriety.
This break has been something I have needed for a long time, but I was never emotionally or mentally able to let go. I’m happy to say that I was finally able to walk away and the work I’ve done on myself in the last 190 days is the reason why.
That’s so crazy I’m in the same exact situation. I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years to the date and it’s been a big part of my drinking and using and a big part of my sobriety. I’m just trying to move forward in life and I feel I have to completely cut ties with her so that I can just focus more on my sobriety, it’s just a toxic relationship. Good luck to you
Had a nice day today, managed to run 5 mins comfortably without stopping, and had coffee with friends. Didn’t get much work done, so will have to get up after the kids have gone to bed.
Coffee. Got out of bed a bit easier this morning so I guess my back is improving. Still painful though. Another day of staying in and painkillers ahead. It is what it is. Good news is my salary came in, in May in Holland we get paid double (for taxes that is, a lot more of the extra is deducted). Vacation money as it is called. No foreign vacation this summer. No booze or drugs to spend it on. So I can spend it on something else . Thinking about a maybe. Well, part of a car anyway. Always nice to fantasize about spending money. Have a good day all! Sober and clean. Love from my desk.
@Clarity Hope you got through the night sober friend. Please quit the klonopin asap lady. It’s heavy stuff. If you use it longer you’ll have to deal with withdrawal from that too as you probably know. And alcohol mixed with heavy benzos like that is a really bad idea. As you know too right. BTW, you’re at day 61. Congrats. @EarnIt Congrats on double digits Jené! @Becsta Almost there Bec! Love the song, especially in that rendition. @Hidden Congrats on changing your life for the better Chris. Same to you @Francisco1.
. Thinking about a 
maybe. Well, part of a car anyway. Always nice to fantasize about spending money. Have a good day all! Sober and clean. Love from my desk.