Many thanks!!! It’s getting easier as the days go on, but every once in a while, just for a split second, that voice pops up, saying “man, an Old Fashioned sounds rad doesn’t it?”, and it’s enough to make me realize I’m not out of the water, and never will be. Just have to stay strong and focused.
The book was pretty good. As I read it, I saw so many similarities with myself, and things I’ve heard from others over time. Not like exactly the same situations, but cravings popping up, triggers, the dialogue in the meetings, etc… definitely worth reading at least once.
We actually have a county wide curfew tonight, from 8 pm to 6 am. Essential travel only… not sure how well that’s playing out. Glad to be working from home at this point, as I can rest a bit easier, since my office is near the “hot spot”.
@Conor689908 I can hear ur desperation, and wish so much life didn’t suck for u now. No matter how bad it is, alcohol can and will make it worse. Don’t increase ur pain.
Day 574. I wanted to tank today, just go into a really bad mood and give up on my stuff for the day, but I didn’t. Spent a good long while in mindfulness and kept level. That was not an easy choice to make, but I’m glad I did. I am hoping for a calmer week starting tomorrow but expecting nothing.
Closing out on day 309 which has been disappointingly uneventful. I stayed in bed most of the day watching YouTube videos. Lots of different podcasts and perspective on the protests. I did alot of writing in my journal as well. Ive decided that sobriety isn’t enough and there are new physical/spiritual challenges I must embark on to evolve on a more spiritual level. Was doing alot of thinking about what God is to me and how I can start living more purposefully. The results of this thinking are more personal so I will not be sharing. However, I feel a bit hopeful and relieved as I believe I may actually “be ready” like the day I decided to quit drinking.
I must find my peace and carve out my own path despite the chaos and limitations surrounding us right now. I have clipped the toxic social media, toxic news channels, toxic foods, and toxic thinking. It’s time to ascend despite the circumstances of the current political climate.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
196 Days: Just checking in. Crazy world, but I’m sober! Sending strength and love to those that are struggling and congrats to everyone for making it one more day!
Are you trying to say I’m fat or too old for this? LOL
You actually right here. I have spent around 15 minutes kicking about and was in goal for rest of the training. Thanks God it was shooting practice session. My heart would explode otherwise. But slowly slowly I am getting there.
Day 5. Cant believe I made it through today without drinking. I was soooooo close. I only slept 4 hours last night and didn’t eat and just have been in a bad bad bad mental place. Started talking about how I wanted to drink. Started fantasizing. Talked to my fiance about buying a bottle. Raided the liquor cabinet, luckily nothing was there. Ate ice cream and thin mints and went to the park and the craving passed. Glad I made it. Played the tape backwards this time and that really helped. I never want to go back to who I was before. It was hell. Hope you made it too @Conor689908
First day physically at work for a couple of months. Went past at least 10 convenience stores selling booze on the way to work. Felt a bit tempted, not sure why, but resisted,
Day 57.
Today was a hard day because of all the bad stuff happening in our country. Feeling so helpless. I tried to talk to some ppl who were posting racist memes, only to be attacked online.
I was overwhelmed by the feelings and I was just looking around my room and my house like I was searching for something that was lost, something I was missing that would take away the pain of it all. Then I realized that what I was missing was the booze in hand that I would have used to drown it all out. I just burst into tears and my husband hugged me.
I didn’t drink and I won’t.
I do think I will be attending a peaceful protest next Saturday, though.
