Unfortunately we do not have the same system in Sweden, so they don’t have to register telling anyone where they live or anything like that. But most hearings in court and verdicts are official if it isn’t a really special case. So that means that you easily can get someone’s court papers if you ask for them, no matter the case. Some places for example schools and nurseries, daycares amd other places where you work with people or are handling medicins requires to see your police register before they hire you. But not all places does, and we don’t have a specific law that will keep them away from kids like the US registration law. To be honest we doesn’t even have fair sentences for those people, here you usually get a higher sentence for a bad traffic violation or economic crimes than you get for a rape. It’s insane and most of the time our courts tries to not put people in prison.
Day 48. Been feeling a bit down these past couple of days. I think it’s just being trapped inside my apartment that’s getting to me. I have a few errands to run today so I’m looking forward to the time outside.
Glad to hear there was a little shift…that must give you a bit of relief. I know the ending of relationships can keep us stuck in a what if/did I do the right thing/sadness loop. You certainly are facing it all head on and learning. Good stuff!!
This shift in mindset has me really feeling optimistic that I can eventually get through this clean. I’m still sad and all that, and that’s fine.
But what has happened is that I had been viewing this as “I fucked this up, I let her get away, I had a good thing and let it crumble – my fault”, and then the negative self-talk continues from there.
With the realizations I have had in the past half day or so, it’s now closer to “We BOTH had things we could have and should have done better. Nobody is at fault, and it truly was for the best, in retrospect. We tried, but it didn’t work out. Just as she had needs that I wasn’t meeting, I also had needs not being met – and it’s OK to go different ways when you honestly try to work on this but it doesn’t get better. There is no blame”.
The only “I” statement ringing in my head now is, “I do not like who I became in the relationship”. I liked who I was before, and for the first half of it or so, but over the last year or so especially – I do not like who I became. I think that’s important to acknowledge. So I am free to address that now and get back to being me, without influence.
I still have all the love in the world for that woman. No doubt about it, and I probably always will on some level. When someone is intertwined in your life like that, you never lose it. I really think she’s the first person I ever truly loved…all the others before her felt quite different. I still treasure what we had, I still cherish the memories and still feel sad about them. But I feel that I now have garnered a healthier and more realistic perspective, which will help me start finally moving forward.
Gotcha. US puts too many people in jail. I think we are #1. If not must be top 3 in all the world. This world is topsy turvy at best, batshut crazy at worst. Stay positive and true to yourself is all you can do. Talk to you later.
Evening check in. Had a change of plan as the skies started to clear and I thought I’d much rather ride my bike instead of going to the gym. Plenty of bad weather left in my life to go inside and workout.Turned out a really lovely ride. Feeling healthy and glowing now. Sober and clean. Love.
Day 913
Since 1,5 months (I think ) I’m doing HIIT workouts. Today I was able to do burpees for the first time ever. Felt like I climbed on the Mount Everest haha…kinda. Well, I’m dead now but happy.
I want to know how strong I can get? What, if I keep on keeping on? I was able to stop drinking. I’ll be able to become the strongest version of me possible
Have a nice day or evening folks Stay strong!
This inspires me. Becoming a yoga student and getting a more moderate work out routine is definitely on the goal list. Self development and self mastery is becoming somewhat of an addiction in and of itself for me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the confidence gained after quitting drinking and smoking weed.
Do y’all get cravings before you reach a milestone? I’ve been pretty good about not having cravings. However, I’ve noticed the last couple of weeks I been “romanticizing” about a nice bottle of wine or a cocktail. Today as some of you may know is my 6 months sober day. Just wondering if cravings before a milestone is a thing? And hopefully it will go away now.
Milestone cravings, I had them too. And I sometimes do romanticize alcohol too. But I teached my brain to remember the pain, the hangovers, the bad skin, the foggy brain…and it’s working. I don’t want to feel sick for days after having a bottle of wine, that’s not worth it
) I’m doing HIIT workouts. Today I was able to do burpees for the first time ever. Felt like I climbed on the Mount Everest haha…kinda. Well, I’m dead now but happy.
